Hi guys I told my boyfriend a few times that I don’t want to have sex without a condom. When it got to foreplay I still said it when he asked but ten minutes later he started putting it in. I was pushing his chest away a bit but not hard but I just let him. Is it a red flag that he did this despite my requests earlier? Should I bring it up to him?
Bf pressuring me
r/Advice
Comments
Sex needs to come off the table end of story.
This is a red flag.
he doesn’t respect you.
red flag, red banner, red everything, definitely bring it up, and if he doesn’t listen, grounds to leave him, he should be respecting your boundaries and limits, you are your own person, not his object
He essentially sexually assaulted you. Just because you stopped resisting at the end doesn’t mean you didn’t tell him no.
Definitely bring it up to him and honestly if he continues this he won’t ever respect your boundaries. I know it’s tough to see it that way but boundaries are boundaries at the end of the day and if they can’t respect it they won’t.
“He started putting it in”
Despite being told explicitly not to without a condom.
He raped you.
It’s a massive red flag and usually will only escalate more.
End things.
Tell him to pound sand and if you were my daughter, we’d have some words.
Edit: when I say we’d have some words, I’m talking me and the BF.
This is one reason why abortion is such a heavily discussed topic and it stems a lot from situations like this where a guy gets carelessly horny to even think about repercussions let alone your feelings.
No male should ever pressure anyone. If he doesn’t understand and respect your wishes, leave him immediately
Red flag
He assaulted you, leave and file a police report
This is grounds for breaking up for going against your consent, so yes, it’s a red flag.
What he did was disrespect you because he doesn’t care about you. You both have to agree to this and yet he forced himself on you. Is that something that someone that loves you would do??
I wouldn’t be able to trust him after this. He is selfish at the very least.
This is actually illegal in some places and akin to any other SA claim. There are legitimate medical risks and the disregarding of your autonomy, and a disrespect of your clearly communicated concerns.
This is certainly a red flag. You had the right to say no. He did not have the right to ignore your rights.
If he’s wiling to be this ignorant about sex and safe sex, then how far does the rabbit hole go?
He’s a rapist. Never be alone with him again. Break up with him on the phone or in public. This kind of thing only gets worse.
Soooo…..
If you set a “condition precedent” to sex – that is, said he could have sex with you but only if he wore a condom, and he did it anyway, that’s rape.
Thats not a red flag. It’s like a whole China worth of red army.
That’s assault brutha
tell him you miss a period and he is gonna be a daddy
It is absolutely a red flag. As your BF he should respect your wishes. That is not ok!!!!!!! I think you really need to re-evaluate your relationship. Im sorry honey.
Big. Red. Flag.
Your boyfriend does not respect you enough to care about your pleasure and enjoyment. You’re an orgasm delivery machine to him.
Extremely wrong and immature of him
Tell him you can have sex without a condom… on your peg when you have sex with his butt.
Yeah that is not okay and not something he should get a pass on with you. End it and move on. Your body, your rules. Period.
It’s more than a red flag. You need to leave him.
You should actually leave him. That’s not acceptable. his behavior will get worse. Leave him
Ex-boyfriend
I think that’s what you need.
No means no.
Lack of a yes means no.
Guys ANYTHING WITHOUT CONSENT IS SA EVEN IF YOU SAY NO OR AIGN A CONTRACT OR EVEN IF IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU LIKE IT AND ALL THAT and you still say no ITS STILL SEXUAL ASSAULT READ THE LAWS ALSO ITS ILLEGAL IF THE GUY SAYS HE DONT WANNA PUT A CONDOM ON AND SHE TELLS HIM TO PUT ONE ON AND HE DONT THATS SEXUAL ASSAULT …..CAN BE REPORTED TO POLICE AT ANYTIME OR FBI
Big red flag!
You need a new boyfriend. He’s trying to get you pregnant, and i wouldn’t trust him with a condom let alone without.
Big red flag. That’s literally rape. I’d run as fast and as far away from that pig as you can.
I’m sorry 💕
Anything without consent is wrong period, end of discussion.
Girly run, that man straight from the factory that produces the red flags.
You weren’t consenting and he did it anyways. That’s rape. I’m sorry.
Isn’t this rape?
Leave this man
I hope you have access to plan B, and you need to het away from him before he gets you pregnant, or infected with an STD.
Going ahead without a condom when you specifically gave consent only with a condom, is sexual assault. He probably doesn’t think it is, but it still is, regardless.
Uh yeah. Sexual contact with the clear expectation of birth control, but the other person doesn’t comply and does it anyway, is rape. Same thing when a girl says “I’m on bc” and turns out she’s not: it’s rape. You are consenting to SAFE sex. You didn’t consent to UNSAFE sex. The conditions of your consent are not met therefore it’s unconsentual, and therefore rape. Either take him to court or break up with him, but do NOT just let this slide.
I’m so sorry that he’s done this to you. You really should press charges. Consent can be removed at any time, even midway through sex. You consented to a condom. He raped you in response. Just because you “let him” doesn’t change the fact that you said no to unprotected sex, pushed him away, and he still did not stop. This is still rape.
No means no. Even in the world of kinksters and hardcore sex (whips & chains, etc) safety and trust are essential and they rely on clear communication. If they can do it so can your BF. He clearly doesn’t respect you and you can do better.
Dont let him. it’s your body. Your decision you should be completely comfortable with the person you’re in bed with and that they will fully respect your wishes
It’s really very wrong on his path but lemme ask you something; even if he was wanting without protection, did he ever finish inside you?
It’s one hell of a red flag! Are you on another form of birth control? If not, did you get an after-the-fact contraceptive?
OP, one of the many reasons it’s a red flag is that not only does he care more about his own pleasure than your risks, and more about his own pleasure than the possibility of pregnancy, but because… if you allowed it once he’s going to assume you’re doing it that way form now on. That’s how immature people react when you give them something they want badly, they assume blanket permission has been given or at least they’ll demand to continue doing things their way and won’t back down.
Refuse to have sex with him again, until there is another medically approved method of birth control in place, and he agrees to use condoms. EVERY. DAMN. TIME.
Breakup. I’m sorry this happened to you. Don’t let any excuses fly. Feel your feelings about this and trust yourself. He may try to dissuade you and make the situation sound not as bad, but someone who loves you and wants an honest and good dynamic with you wouldn’t do this. He’s selfish, did what he wanted to you without your permission. It’s legally recognized as rape.
Big red flag and big GTFO.
he is a creep, tell him if he doesnt respect your wishes you arent going to be with him
I’ve been in this relationship before, please leave now before you get too attached.
Let me emphasize on this: YOU CANT CHANGE HIM
Not even kind of SA this is SA I am sorry this has happened that is not okay
No means no.
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Do. Not. Have. Sex. Without. A. Condom!
Don’t. Let. Him. Manipulate. You.
It’s always a red flag anytime anyone forces you to do anything sexual that you explicitly told them “no” to.
You told him no and he did it anyway. That’s called rape.
This is a red flag. A huge one. Take it from this old dad, this is tantamount to SA.
When you say NO, NO it shall be.
Take care.
sweetie this is called rape..
YES. it’s a red flag, leave now and don’t look back in regret, he doesn’t respect you enough to accept your wishes.
a no’s a no and he should respect that. bring it up to him and if he seems apathetic about it all i would end it tbh
honestly in this situation i wouldnt give him the benefit of talking it out, this is not the kind of person you want to be in a relationship with, he clearly doesnt respect your boundaries and he raped you. run and run fast
Break up with him. No excuses for behavior like this.
Yes, it’s more than a red flag. You said no, he did it anyway. That’s rape. Doesn’t matter that you “let” him… still rape.
RUN, 💨
I’m pretty sure it’s illegal
Calling in a red flag is an understatement you told him no glove no love he ignored you. He tried to sexually assault. You no means no not maybe not. I’m thinking about it. It means no
He crossed over a boundary. I am a guy and if my partner told me this, I would definitely put one on if I was going to be intimate with her and not try to sexually assault her like he did. I know that you love him and you want to be with him, but this is way over the lie .
You need to break up with him because this is going to be a continuing problem and he will not stop. He will not respect your boundaries or you and I’ll say it again in words that you will understand you told him no condom no sex he tried to rape you in the reason why I say that because you told him no sex please be safe and once again, you need to break up with him
🚩🚩🚩 Your bf is an a*hole. This is SA. Ditch him. Then in 6wks contact him and tell him you’re pregnant (hopefully you’re not) but you’ll scare the sht out of him.
Nope, nah, nada, nunca, zilch, nuh uh, how many other ways can you tell him no?
Yeah this definitely isn’t okay. You told him about this “a few times” and he still didn’t respect you. That’s uncomfortable to keep repeating and you shouldn’t have to do that. That’s not okay..
You should tell him how his actions made you feel.
It’s time you have a clear and open conversation about this before things get rough
Your boy friend is to embarrassed to walk in a store and bye a box of condoms so why don’t you get some so if you get in bed with him you are prepared to protect yourself. No baby or STD’s just my advice.
He’s not going to listen and it will get worst and exhausting then he will go do something to the next victim
I’d leave him. You made it clear and he still did it anyway
It’s a red flag. Bordering on rape.
Honey, if you can’t bring it up to him, you’re not mature enough to be having sex. YES, bring it up! You’re going to get pregnant or catch an STD! Tell him never again unprotected, and if he tries you won’t see him again. If he tricks you, call the police.
Thats Rape
No means no, period! He doesn’t respect your boundaries at all! That’s taking things pretty far tbh, as someone else mentioned, that’s bordering on SA!
Big red flag. He’s ignoring your comfort levels for sex. He pushed you until you caved, even though you didn’t want to. In some states, that’s considered sexual assault. Bc you said no, you pushed, he still did it. Just bc you stopped fighting him doesn’t mean you gave consent. You kind of figured out you were in a hopeless situation.
You can try talking to him. But when the realization that you can’t trust him in your most vulnerable states to respect your wishes sets in, you will be mad that you just didn’t leave.
Talk to a professional if you need to. Bc what he did can hurt your trust with others in the future. Don’t let him take that from you too.
That’s assault. No is a full sentence! Looking at your profile I’m assuming this is the same 26 yr old to your 18?? 🚩🚩🚩You should listen to your brother and friends and this right here also solidifies it. I know he has a lot of your first but please get out now and don’t let this man trap you with a baby or an STD. You were not comfortable with no condom and he disrespected that. Imagine what else he would do.
Fuck yeah bring it up to him. If he thinks it’s not a big deal then you should really reconsider who you’re sharing a bed with.
Dump him quick. He doesn’t respect you and therefore doesn’t deserve you.
Looks like he found out that you’re cool with him raping you.
It’s up to you to let him find out what else you’re cool with, or not.
Stupid post smh 🤦♂️ of course that’s a red flag 🚩 leave him. That’s a dangerous game you’re playing.
Brother that’s assault and you should get checked for STDS. Take plan B just in case too
Leave
That is red flag girl , it’s condom or break up , that clearly a violation of your privacy and consent
So he kinda S.A you. You said no he said fuck you
Leave his stupid ass
Yeah, that’s rape. You didn’t consent. He raped you.
He is a rapist leave him
🚩
Leave him and report him