My boyfriend and I have been dating for 1 year now and for our anniversary we got a hotel room to celebrate. He had been away for 3 weeks for his internship and I will be away for another 3 weeks for my internship. So technically we only had this week to hang out this summer. That being said, he kept emphasizing how horny he was and how he was looking forward to our hotel trip and I don’t really have a high sex drive so couldn’t really match his energy while we were separated. On the 2nd day while having sex, I caught him taking pictures of me when I never ever gave him consent to do so. I saw him delete it off of everything and he apologized several times. He was a perfect boyfriend and I could tell he really loved me but I feel so betrayed. I feel like he did it because I couldn’t satisfy him that much sexually while we were away so he wanted to keep the pics for himself since we were gonna be long distance again. He’s never done anything like this or anything wrong to me so I feel conflicted. Is breaking up the right thing to do?
Bf took pictures of me without my consent
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You deserve to feel safe and respected and if he can cross a boundary like this, what stops him from doing it again when you’re apart? Stay if trust can truly be rebuilt with accountability and proof, but walk away if you feel a shadow of doubt your peace is worth more than any promise.
Two sides. One, your side. He took pictures without consent and yes that is a bitch thing to do. He apologized and you have every right to be pissed. But if this is the first time it’s happened I don’t think breaking up is the right move. Two, his side. He might want stuff like that for when you’re busy and he has to satisfy himself, the only upside to that is he’d rather have you then the millions of images online or other people he could be with. It’s a no win situation but maybe ask why he wanted them to understand his side
Crossing a boundary can be extremely difficult to come back from – you deserve to feel respected in a relationship, and safe!
I would maybe suggest you have a proper conversation about how you felt disrespected and hurt that he would do something like that without your consent and implicate he crossed a boundary that you didn’t know would have to be put in place.
If you want to continue, I’d say leaving your phones in a different room while you are intimate is a good idea to start building trust again.
But if you have a gut feeling, listen to it. Breaking up is horrible, I get that, but unless you can be sure he wouldn’t do it again, he will listen and understand and rebuild trust with you, then it’s not worth it.
So sorry this happened and hope you are okay
If the thought process helps at all it’s exactly this. Obviously he has a high sex drive and the time away affects him a lot more and he wanted something for him to get off to while you guys are away from each other but he wants it to be ONLY YOU cz he only wants to look at you that way cz it is pretty tempting with a high sex drive to just watch porn or something but that can often lead to comparison to you and the sex you guys have because that’s just how porn makes ur brain work. So I can get the thought process but that is in no way okay any time I always triple made sure with an ex or lover if that was okay and if they’re sure ,that’s not cool at all . Breaking up over it ? Personally I wouldn’t say so I’d say it’s a complete breach of privacy and trust and set the new boundary very sternly but it’s completely up to you I wouldn’t say ur invalid if you did end it.
That’s a huge breach of trust no matter how much he loves you or how perfect he’s been otherwise. Taking intimate photos without consent is a serious violation and your feelings of betrayal are completely valid.
It’s not just about the photos, it’s about respect, boundaries and safety. If he truly respected you, he wouldn’t have done that regardless of how frustrated he felt.
Breaking up isn’t an overreaction. You have every right to leave if trust feels broken beyond repair. Some people work through things like this with firm boundaries and accountability but others see it as a line that shouldn’t be crossed both views are valid.
He’s crossed a boundary, but he’s apologised. I’d have a further chat with him about consent. Do you think you’d be OK if he wanted more photos? With your consent? As for the photos he took, if he wants them for times when you’re apart I think I’d be pleased. So much better than resorting to p¤Rn, and a sign he finds you hotter than any other option. I actually see this as a positive.
Total violation. Huge red flag. Huge.
There is literally no excuse for what he did. Horny? That doesn’t excuse it. If it did excuse it then cheating is fine as well?
If you want to give him a second chance that’s on you but you’re already saying your sex drives may not be compatible and you’re currently not living in close proximity.