tl;dr Bf(23M) of 7 months prioritizes his new job and coworkers. He works long shifts and takes on extra work to get on good terms with everyone. I(21F) commented how I felt disconnected. He apologized but said I wouldn’t understand bc I haven’t worked and that he’s extroverted. He now thinks I should be doing the same thing.
I(21F) have been dating my boyfriend(23M) for 7 months. I’m in school at the moment and he recently picked up a seasonal job as a barman.
Ever since he started his job, we’ve had issues with communication and generally the quality of the relationship went down. We rarely call or message, and he is hellbent on being on good terms with all his coworkers, even if he’s overworked or treated unfairly. He even wants to pick up extra hours so he’d be working 12 hour shifts.
I communicated how I felt disconnected from him. He apologized for not making time for me this week, but said I don’t understand since I haven’t worked in that field( neither do I want/need to). He told me since he’s extroverted, he wants to be friends with everyone, and also doesn’t want to get on their bad side. He even commented how maybe I should be doing the same thing, as I’m very introverted and don’t really befriend people.
Comments
You’re 7 months into this relationship and he’s already showing you that he’s willing to hurt your feelings in order to protect his assumptions about other people’s feelings.
Workaholics needs to date other workaholics or It’s never going to work out. You haven’t even been dating a year, he’s showing you what’s most important to him, so take that at face value.