Me (26F) and my bf (31M) have been dating for around 6 months, and live separately (but both alone) in the same city. The relationship is still fairly new but we spend basically everyday together and are really close.
Since the beginning I got the vibe that his mom was a bit overbearing and definitely more involved in his life than either of my parents are in mine but didn’t start thinking it was an issue or weird until recently.
Before I get to the laundry I’ll give an example-
If I am going away for the weekend I’ll casually text my parents about my plans and they sometimes ask conversational questions and then just say have fun be careful (because I’m 26 and don’t live at home). But when he is going away for the weekend his mom is calling telling him this and that about what time to leave because of traffic, saying the weather is going to be bad, saying to come and sleep at their house the night before so she can drive him to the airport in the morning, etc. Like her life is now revolving around her 31 year old sons vacation with friends.. Personally, I thought it was kind of weird and just a lot for a 31 year old man but chalked it up to maybe she’s just (I’m sorry) bored?
Now getting to the laundry- Does anyone else think it’s weird that (since he goes home for a night or two to visit his parents probably every 3 weekends or so) that he just brings back and forth a suitcase of his laundry/ a bag with sheets/towels in it and his mom does it for him while he is home? Also it is not just the fact that she does his laundry that I think is weird.. it’s honestly moreso the fact that other than when she does his laundry he does not do it himself. He probably hasn’t done laundry since he moved out 6 years ago to be honest.
To add to this, his mom drives him back and forth from their home to his apartment with the laundry. I don’t know why it bothers me so much but it really does give me the ick. It also weirds me out that just based on the situation/from what I know about their dynamic.. I am almost positive that his mom would be really upset if one day he was said ok you don’t need to do my laundry for me and started doing it himself. However, my final point, I don’t think he would ever say that to her.
I’ve made a few comments about it over the last few weeks and I feel like he gets annoyed when I comment on it. He said something along the lines of- well I’m not ashamed that my mom loves me and that I love my mom. So weird. I never said that you doing your own laundry at 31 means you and your mom don’t love each other
TL;DR: Bfs mom does his laundry for him at 31 and he doesn’t live with her- I think it’s strange and he gets pissed