Location: Boston Suburb
Absolutely floored, husband of 3yrs10m said tonight he wants a divorce, a quick one. Quick background, both green card holders, through him- he is incredibly high earner (president of pharm), and I am sahm (his child 16, mine 18, who we’ve just moved to college this weekend). I have raised his child since for 6 years, full time, especially as he travels internationally for months per year.
He is sole breadwinner (1m plus per year, as well as significant investments, shares etc), and purchased our home 6 months prior to my moving in (2 years prior to marriage). Mortgage paid since then through joint accounts. I have paid for many renos as well as weekly upkeep. His child lost their mother young, and I have done everything (really, everything, save for financial). Now he’d like very quick resolution, says he will ‘help me out’, ie perhaps helping me to rent an apartment. Meanwhile, millions of dollars spent on massive auto collection, new build 20 car garage, hundreds of thousands for his older children to attend private schools out of country, all since marriage. All out of our joint accounts.
I’m heartbroken and not money hungry, but he’s saying I should leave quickly and that he’ll be ‘fair’. This is my home too- my child coming home this weekend. Please help direct me towards divorce experts, likely financial auditing as well. I just want to grieve, hide away from neighbours, not tell a soul, but email searches tonight are painting a very scary picture for me- including paid applications (solo!) for alternate citizenships, expedited passports applications for child considered mine (not bio), and cancellations of life insurance policies, beneficiaries etc. As well as my credit cards. Might be prudent to note that he’s very recently quit drinking, sans any support but from me. Habit was life-threatening, but he was still ‘functioning’.
Need advice on immediate next steps, and good lawyers, preferably Boston. Life I expected even hours ago seems like a tragic joke on me, but I need to ensure survival first, before rebuilding another. Thanks so much.
Comments
Don’t say yes to anything. Don’t sign anything. Start contacting divorce attorneys. He won’t “be fair” that’s for the courts. Prepare for everything he says to be potentially gaslighting.
We’ll see how “fair” he’ll feel when your soon to be retained divorce lawyer tells him to grab his ankles.
NAL but it seems to me that having his lawyer handle the whole thing is going to leave you with the short end of the stick. You need your own lawyer.