There are many people who use it to justify their lack of communication skills and E.Q. Body language is only useful for those that you know. Trying to ” read ” someone doesn’t really work when you don’t know them. I’m also not saying there aren’t universal signs, I just think that people put too much stock into trying to read people instead of communicating. I think that sometimes people who rely heavily on body language make too many assumptions and act like mind readers.
Comments
Please remember what subreddit you are in, this is unpopular opinion. We want civil and unpopular takes and discussion. Any uncivil and ToS violating comments will be removed and subject to a ban. Have a nice day!
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Body language is accurate but like you said there needs to be a baseline to go off of. People just read one book or watch a youtube video and think they have it all figured out.
problem is, people look for one sign instead of multiple signs. For example, if a persons head is down and they are crying, they probably are sad. But if a person head is down, they could just be looking at their sneakers. its the combination of multiple signs not just one. Your correct, most people use the tool the wrong way, that is it the real issue
I can’t talk while making eye contact. I literally can’t form coherent sentences if I am looking at somebody’s face while speaking. The number is people who’ve accused me of lying because “not making eye contact is a sign of lying and my body language is giving me away” is astonishing. Stop with the body language bullshit people. Humans are incredibly complex creatures. There’s no one fits all.
Body language analyse are useful but only as a tool. They can be indications or hints that something is going on.
But shows like Sherlock and Luther make it look like it’s some kind of super power.
It isn’t it’s a tool like all others. The lying detector is similar.
This also assumes communication is honest.
It’s easier for you to lie through your teeth than lie through your hands & feet.
I agree. A lot of times, I sit with my arms folded over my chest– even in social functions and work meetings. I only do so because I’m more comfortable that way. I’m not resisting or rejecting whatever is being said. I let people know advance that folded arms are my preference! However, there are instances in which body language is accurate. It just depends.
Agree, all body language experts told us that Khabib was scared of Conor and was going to lose that fight since Conor got into his head.
Yeah obviously you can’t tell if someone is sleeping with their coworker by their left eye twitching, sherlock holmes style, but body language is one of the main ways humans communicate.
But as you said you do need to be somewhat familiar with this person’s usual body language/movement to be able to properly ‘read’ them.
Body language is complicated, and miscommunications occur, but miscommunication also occurs in spoken language, so why would that be a surprise? Body language is also very decidedly not universal. Some of it is highly individual and some is culturally or socially influenced. Avoiding eye contact, for example, can be a sign someone is being dishonest, but it can also be a sign that someone is shy or that they’re on the autism spectrum or that they’re from a culture where it’s considered impolite to make direct eye contact, or any of a million other reasons.
That doesn’t make eye contact “only useful for those you know” any more than verbal language is only useful for those you know, it just means that we shouldn’t treat body language like a universal guarantee that we understand someone. Communication requires that we use context clues. If someone is making aggressive eye contact and cleaning their fists and leaning forward into your personal space, you’d be really stupid to ignore that body language because “well, I don’t personally know this person, so these clear and obvious signs that this person is very angry and aggressive and showing signs that they might escalate to physical violence are probably useless. I’m just going to keep on with whatever I’m doing.”
Oh, how I hate that body language bullshit. Sure, sometimes it can be true and whatnot, but I literally hate looking at people while talking. It makes me uncomfortable, and people think it’s because I’m lying, downvote for agreeing though 😅
I think it’s 50/50. On the one hand, understanding a persons body language would require a deeper knowledge or familiarity with them to understand there particular nuances. However; I also think that some forms of body language are universal and can be applied to the public in a general sense. The FBI teaches courses on body language so there must be some commonality with its applications.
I have autism and poor proprioception. So basically I hate making eye contact and I have no idea what my body is doing. I was accused of lying so much when I was younger because of this. I also have RBF so I just look annoyed all the time even when I’m not. I don’t have much control over what my face is doing.
Body language is not always accurate.
It’s just about as useful as a polygraph test
I think this might be unpopular for a reason. I don’t think people “read” each other. I think most non-verbals are subconscious. It’s been a while, but I thought this was something covered in school.
I absolutely disagree. I have situational mutism and I have to say I would never be able to communicate with somebody I’ve known for less than a few years even a teacher so body language is the only thing I can use. You just need lots of practice to notice patterns in behaviour
I wasn’t diagnosed with autism until well into adulthood, so body language was something I had to meticulously learn while growing up. It always felt like everyone knew a secret handshake I didn’t. I’m not looking for sympathy, but I want to make it clear that my view on body language did not develop naturally. I had to actively watch and then mentally catalog what small gesture or combination of small gestures meant what.
It quickly became apparent that body language alone outside of a few common gestures wasn’t enough to get a read on someone, but what was also apparent was that without the context of body language, most people’s words were nearly meaningless. So I believe it is accurate, but it needs to be viewed and used properly in tandem with someone’s words, tone of voice, and any context that could inform their mood or motivations.
Insight check!!
That’s why detectives establish rapport with suspect during interrogations to spot deviations in body language.
Body language is often used as a generalisation and it certainly doesn’t hold it’s weight. What if I keep my arms crossed because of a million of other reasons instead of “I’m not opening up” or whatever the consensus is on that one. Body language only works if people are conditioned into it rather than anything else
On the one hand, there might be some things that are universal.
On the other hand, someone might be doing something that seems like it means one thing, but really doesn’t.
I think people like to think that that kind of if-then heueristic works all the time because it makes them feel like they know what’s going on and have more control/understanding of a situation or person.
Body language is only part of the equation.
When it comes to interrogations, statement analysis is far better and more reliable from what I gather.
I had a boss who claimed to be an “expert” in reading someone’s “true meaning.” It was annoying to see him completely ignore someone’s written or spoken words to apply his “interpretation” of what the person really meant.