I (28F) am in recovery from past eating issues and have worked really hard to improve my relationship with food and my body. But today, something happened that really set me back emotionally.
My mother-in-law was talking about her best friend’s daughter and her overweight child and said how they had both been “been fat since childhood.” Then she turned to me and said, “You must have been fat during childhood too.” I calmly said, “No, I was skinny,” and she replied, “Oh, the opposite must have happened to you then.”
That hit me like a truck. I’ve been polite and keep to myself—I never invite this kind of conversation. I also am recovering from a procedure that had made be bedridden for over two weeks But her comment made me feel worthless, disgusting, and out of control. All the old thoughts came flooding back, and now I feel like starving myself to gain back a sense of power or to punish myself. I know that’s not the answer. I know that’s not healing. But the pull is strong, and I feel really alone right now.
Why do people say things like this? What do you do when a trigger like this comes from someone you have to see again? How do you stop yourself from spiraling?
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Damn, that’s messed up, sorry u had 2 deal with that, yo. It’s like ppl don’t tbink b4 they open their mouths. Still, remember MIL’s opinion doesn’t define you, u ain’t worthless. U’ve come a long way, don’t let her drag you back. Therapy, self-love, and setting boundaries will do wonders. Hang in there, sis. Keep pushing and remember, ur loved, valid, and awesome. Trust, you’ll get through this. 💪💯
She’s awful. You never, ever comment like that about someone else’s body. She has no right. Next time it happens, because it sounds like there will be a next time, be prepared to set a strong boundary. “Mil, it is completely inappropriate for you to comment on my weight and my body. It’s hurtful and rude. Please don’t do it again”. And if she reacts poorly, be prepared to leave.