I’ve always ignored nostalgia posts yearning for 2006 because I just couldn’t relate to wanting to be a kid again. But now that I’m thinking about it, I don’t feel like I ever was a kid? At least not in the way that other people describe it. I was too “conscious”, for lack of a better word. I was naive (obviously I didn’t have the life experience to be anything but), but I was always treated like an mini adult. Even my kindergarten teacher said I was a like 30 year old in a 5 year old’s body. I hope someone knows what I’m talking about, I’m not sure how else to explain it.
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Same. Turns out I was just depressed my entire life. Been taking baby steps this year and honestly I can say I get excited about stuff finally. I Don’t mean this as just a “go seek help” but I would start there. I think in my life at least I was always forced to focus on “the happy” while knowing the reality of life. Parents were not meant to be a couple, financial strain, moving countries, etc. So “reality” was always in the back of my mind, except back then I somehow thought worrying about that also meant not enjoying the small joys of seeing animals roaming around, the clouds just passing by with the wind, etc.
I always felt like I was older then every one else until I turned about fifteen/sixteen, then I feel like I just like..stopped maturing? I mentally feel like a really old teenager trying to navigate stuff.
I feel like i did.
I was an only child, bounces between divorced parents. Went to school, dragged to extra curriculum activities.
My mum had her second kid when I was 13, so I essentially became a “live in nanny” or a “second parent” and lost my teen years to helping raise my siblings.
Sure, as a kid I had friends and went to friends events (e.g party etc..) but nothing lasting. As a teenager, I didn’t hang out with friends after school.
I’m now 30 and feel like I’m living my childhood now and making those impressions now isn’t always the greatest especially since I’m supposed to be “a grown up”.
I would know I have no memories
I gotcha. I was the oldest kid in an abusive home, so I basically wasn’t allowed to be a kid. Most of the adults in my life would go on about how mature I was, which is apparently not a great thing in some cases.
On top of this, I was also recently diagnosed with autism. So looking back, a lot of the “childish” things I was punished for were actually part of my neurodivevence. Things like stimming, getting really attached to toys, obsessive interests, etc.
Part of my therapy, healing process, whatever has been embracing some of this stuff and doing things I wasn’t allowed to. So I have stuffed animals and stim toys for the first real time in my life and it’s a good feeling. Plus I try to get to the zoo or do something else fun a couple times a month. Not trying to be a kid or anything, but embrace the senses of wonder and fun that got beaten out of me.
You just reminded me of how a lot of idiots at my elementary wanted to act like grownups so badly for no apparent reason. Why do you want to be an adult when you’re in kindergarten/ elementary? How dumb does that get? And now I see post online about how miserable and sad it is having to be a grown up and have responsibilities and a job. No shit, that’s why it’s fun to play and be a kid
Thanks to trauma, I barely remember my life before the age of 28 (when I had a mental breakdown that almost destroyed my life). I remember that TV in the late 80s/early ’90s had Bozo on for 12 hours straight, then El Chavo, then I had dinner and go to bed. It was bliss. Other than that, I don’t remember my childhood.
Yeah. I had shitty childhood and teenage years. I would never want to live through that again. I was a tiny adult partially because of just how my personality is, partially because I’m autistic and partially because the conditions and environment pushed me to be an adult. Now I’m 27. Feeling like a very long toddler.
Yeah, my Dad had his first heart attack when I was 7yrs. I didn’t understand what happened. My Mom pretty well protected me, and my three older siblings didn’t talk about it. When it all was the life stopper was when my Mom told my Brownie leaders she would not be able to help out much because of my Dad’s confinement to the hospital about 20 miles away, it was 1959. My assistant Brownie leader came and asked me if it was true that my Dad had a heart attack. I guess she didn’t believe my Mom. Then I realized that this was important and to take it serious. Don’t remember much of childhood after that, pretty much one adult serious event to another.
I was parentified at an early age. Didn’t have much of a childhood.