Boundaries???

When boundaries are set with in-laws, what does that look like for you? Or what would that look like for an emotionally healthy person? 🫣
See my other post about the 💩 show that is our mother’s. But basically, these 2 women that hate each other had a good cry in walmart about how awfulni am and brought up calling dcfs.
I sent my mother a text cutting contact. Telling her i hope she gets the help she needs, but she is no longer allowed at our home. We were very close to nc anyway. Im an extremely direct person. She never responded. Blew up at my sister and said, “Those kids shouldn’t have to protect themselves, and I hope husband name can swim.”
Still no dcfs visit.
My husband is the least confrontational person in the world. He called his mother, asked her about the conversation, asked her a few other things, and what her problem with me is. She went off about how I’ve basically destroyed their family, talk all the time about how I hate his sister (I don’t talk to mil except when with husband so that never happened), how my family lives in filth and he was raised better (our house is very lived in but not dirty. We homeschool 5 kids, he works as a teacher, and I’m working 2 jobs right now)
We told the kids dcfs might show up, and they basically laughed it off. My children are extremely cared for and possibly spoiled a bit. I call it spoiled, but they still have chores 🤣

I canceled our 2 youngest birthday party because I can’t face this woman anymore. My husband said he had no interest in seeing her or going to visit her at her home, and she is not to come to ours. He said this to me.
He has never said that to her. He has never once in 20 yrs set her straight. Never truly stood up for me.
She texted him about the party and if it was rescheduled and when he said it probably wouldn’t happen she said asked why not. He didn’t respond. She texted him today that he was “heavy on her heart,” and he should call her, and he hasn’t responded.
I feel like him not responding plays into her “my dil doesn’t let my son talk to me, my dil wont let me see my grandkids” victim crap. She blames me for everything. According to her, she has never done anything wrong. Never treated me poorly. I’m just this awful monster that stole her baby boy and destroyed her family.
I don’t want to say something to my husband that sounds like an ultimatum. But I need him to tell her to cut the sh*t. I can’t deal with this anymore. I can’t have my children around someone who so openly disrespects and hates me. I just can’t.