My husband and I are in therapy for our marriage. It has been rocky but we’re getting there slowly and making progress.
We’re at the point where our counselor wants us to address the topic of the MIL. 😩
My MIL used to be great, but went to the dark side the second I gave birth to my firstborn.
She has:
– lied to me about not being sick so she could hold my newborn
– insisted on coming over to visit during M-F 9-5pm while I work and turned down all dinner and weekend invitations
– when I started to refuse having to essentially host her and entertain her (bc she just wanted to gossip for the 2-3 hours instead of playing with baby) she complained to my husband that I don’t want her around the babies
– she doesn’t protect the babies from my FIL who made my firstborn baby cry or my niece who was violent with her physical play and dropped the baby while holding her
– she doesn’t respect my boundaries or when I tell her no
– she complains to my husband and in laws about me
– she gossips
– she told me not to correct my niece when she told my daughter she was stupid.
– she lied to my husband about not being told I wouldn’t be having visitors for my second birth
– she harassed my husband to visit my first week postpartum despite being told I wasn’t accepting guests
– she continued to harass my husband every couple days until she visited during week 8 postpartum.
– she threw a hissy fit that my father was getting to see the new baby because she wasn’t allowed to kiss the baby (my father was dying in the hospital at the time and septic, we weren’t sure he was going to make it, he did, but barely)
– she threw a hissy fit I did a newborn photoshoot in a sterilized studio with a single photographer who sanitized before and after touching my baby and didn’t have anyone in her home who was sick…
– she refused to apologize for any of the lying, asked to put it behind us, and then within the hour went to my husband to complain saying I wouldn’t honor my word.
Our counselor wants us to lay out ground rules for dealing with my MIL and possibly even have her apologize for the things I’m having a hard time moving past. What boundaries would you have?
My husband is very attached to his mom so it really needs to be a short and reasonable a list as possible.