my (19f) bf (18m) has a second social media account where he post more personal things. about 10 days after our first date, he posted that “i think i have a problem with love bombing”. obviously i’m really upset, partially with myself, after seeing this because i have let myself actually feel somewhat vulnerable with him in the 3 months we’ve been seeing each other. he doesn’t know that i have looked through this account, but to be fair, he showed it to me a couple days ago, but he was quick so i didn’t see everything except the @ he uses. do i confront him, should i just leave, im not sure.
TLDR: boyfriend posted that he might have a love bombing probably days after our first date, is it worth confronting him or should o just leave?
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TIL what love bombing is. Since it’s a form of manipulation I do think you should talk to him about it.
Note that while love bombing does technically refer to a specific form of manipulation it’s actual usage varies quite a bit. For example I’ve seen people refer to just the general early enthusiastic period of dating as a form of love bombing and while I ‘get’ that definition I don’t think it is necessarily what people mean by it when talking about consciously doing it. In that sense it may be that he just notices that in new relationships he tries too hard, lays it on too thick, and maybe worries that is a kind of love bombing albeit not malicious.
That, of course, is giving him a lot of the benefit of the doubt and obviously a lot of determining that would be the framing and context of what he posted as well as his own understanding of the terminology and etc.
In that sense I do think there are grounds to have the conversation, if only to get a sense of what he actually meant.
do you think he even is? maybe he was just worried he was being too much/lovebombing, but was actually overthinking it. you can talk to him if you think he’s doing something wrong, but i wouldn’t bring up this post out of the blue if you haven’t even noticed him doing it.