Boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me. Don’t know what to do. UPDATE.

Hey guys. Some people have asked for an update. I don’t know if this is how you’re supposed to do it. Like are you supposed to make a new post or edit your old one? I don’t know but anyways I want to thank everyone who replied and answered my post. I really didn’t expect anyone to read it so thank you. it meant a lot and helped me get my thoughts together. And also thanks to the people who have DM’d me with advice and other kind words.

So it’s been a month since he broke up with me. He stood by his word and didn’t try to bother me or contact me which I was grateful for. I didn’t speak with him up until yesterday. I know some of you were saying to not talk to him but I needed to get some stuff off my chest. So yesterday I texted asking him to come over. He said ok and came over like an hour later. I started crying a bit when he walked through the door because he made me my favorite food.

He apologized and said he knew that was probably out of line and he shouldn’t have done it. I said it was fine and I thanked him for the food. We ate in silence which was awkward but after we finished eating we started talking.

He again apologized over and over again and said how he knows he should’ve told me earlier but he thought that it was a passing thing. He knows that you don’t always have the sparks in a relationship so he thought it was just that we lost some of the sparks, but that after a while he realized it was more then that because he started thinking of me as a friend or even a sister. That hurt to hear and he said that he used the wrong choice of words and apologized. (He apologized a lot during our conversation.)

We talked for a few hours and it ended with us both crying into each other arms. After we calmed down I asked if he could ever see himself falling back in love with me or if we could ever try again. (I know I shouldn’t have said that but I needed to know.) He said that well he wishes he could say yes he doesn’t want to give me false hope so he said no. I said ok and we cried some more.

(This is where I fucked up but I wasn’t thinking right.) I asked him if I could kiss him one last time. He said that he doesn’t think that’s a good idea but if I wanted to then ok. So I kissed him. I don’t even know if that hurt me or made me happy. But after that we hugged again and he left. Sorry if that didn’t make sense. A lot happened and I don’t feel like typing everything.

So yea. That’s where I’m at right now. I feel better. I do still want him in my life so I’m going to try being friends with him again in the future. But I have to work on myself right now. Again thank guys for all the encouragement and kind words. It really helped. I hope you guys have a good day and I might update again if you guys want. Anyways stay safe love y’all.