Hi everyone. I’m not sure if I’m being crazy but my boyfriend has a group of friends that he goes out with almost every other weekend and he doesn’t come back home till about 3AM. He says he’s not doing anything but hanging out with them. I went to an outing with him about two weeks ago, and there were many other females there. I can tell his friends are very female driven. They are having another outing this weekend and his friend texted him stating “are you bringing your girl or a different one?” I believe this message is a red flag and he is telling me I am over reacting and putting my own meanings to the message. Is this a red flag?
Boyfriend received a red flag text from his friend. Am I crazy?
r/Advice
Comments
GIANT RED FLAG
I mean, what on earth could it mean but the worst case scenario? Getting defensive instead of calmly explaining a potential context or inside joke is the real red flag.
What did he say it meant? My buddy gives me crap all the time and try’s to stir stuff up.
I have a group of friends who have women and guys in the group and we mingle and don’t always bring significant others and nothing happens and nobody try’s to make things happen with another. I wouldn’t say it automatically means he’s cheating but it does look bad.
Would be unfortunate to end a relationship because a dumb friend said something stupid rather than he’s actually cheating. So more info is needed.
Lol, u ain’t crazy sis, that msg sounds sus af. Like, c’mon, “different one”? Yikes! I’d defo have a real talk with your BF about it and lay down your feelings. Stand your ground, girl! Relationships gotta have trust to work. Lmk how it goes. 👀🍿👏
Yep red flag
He spends hours out with his friends every other weekend and presumably, they also message each other somewhat.
He’s your boyfriend, according to you and him telling you that you are.
According to his friends, you’re his girl but maybe this weekend he might bring someone new.
Dump him.
If this relationship is under 1 year then he can thank his friends for breaking up his relationship and that’s exactly what you tell him.
“I’m breaking up with you because your friends think it’s possible that after ( x amount of time ) they might see another girl with you. That means you don’t speak to your friends in a respectful way about our relationship. You can thank ( name of friend ) for that the next time you see him or maybe the next time you see him, he will be with me, because it’s clear that his intention was to break us up, and that’s pretty clever. I prefer a clever man to a man who wants to act like he’s got a harem of women around his boys.”
That’s how you leave the situation. A parting gift to him about how not to treat your girlfriend around your friends, and a suggestion that his friend not only wanted to cause problems but you’re open to him pursuing you.
Don’t date the friend…. don’t date anyone he knows.
Never let a man shit-talk you through his friends. It’s a game you can always win immediately by dumping him and suggesting your next date will be with one of his bros.
Bottom line
That friend didn’t actually care who your boyfriend was taking for a night out. He was sh*t talking your relationship, and your boyfriend was ok with that. Cool … he can be really cool with all his bros but not at your expense.
Or not
Do whatever you want, but don’t be fooled by your boyfriend. Those guys think your relationship isn’t solid.
Lmao why do so many people here not trust their intuition. If it smells like Shit somewhere…
🚩🚩🚩followed by gaslighting.
He insists you’re reading into it wrong when you take it the way anyone with a brain would, but refuses to give a rational explanation for what else it could possibly mean. That’s sus as fuck.
I’m a dude, how can that mean he’s taking other women to this outing and its not just as friends? Dump the dick.
Red flag for sure!
Yes.
Where there’s smoke there fire babes if he’s instantly defensive it’s bc he’s got something to hide that’s man brain 101. You are NOT crazy and frankly his friend sounds like a red flag too. Bc who sends that? Not sure what context it was sent in but I’m gonna go ahead and assume it was not to hold him accountable. He needs new friends and you need a new man