I’m (F29) so mad right now. They’ve been taken down now but so many of our friends and family already saw them. My boyfriend (M33) has been very apologetic, keeps insisting that he was drunk and put them on his story by mistake. While I believe he didn’t do it on purpose, I just don’t know if I can forgive him right now. The whole thing is just too raw.
Should I talk this out with him? Or is it time to step back and maybe take a break?
Comments
Isn’t that a crime?
Its up to you where you go from here – as the other comment said, what he did is a crime.
I’m really sorry that happened though.
Make him delete the intimate pictures off his device to not do it again!
I would say it’s time to step back. That is a huge breach of trust he has broken there, and who knows what else he could be doing with them. I would insist he deletes them and watch that they are, and walk away
Nice, what’s his social so I can see it
He shouldn’t have done that regardless his status. That was inappropriate
The expected replies are already here. Break up with him. This is a crime. You all show zero emotion or interest into what OP is going through. Just throw on a bandaid solution or tell them to uplift life because of one thing. Every single piece of advice thread is like this. Do real advice. This isn’t the legal advice sub. And telling someone to break up without anything else provided isn’t advice. It’s a quick fix for you to say that, but it’s a super tough pill for the individual(s) involved. This reddit is a cesspool of “ummm awakually” keyboard warriors.
I would use this opportunity to have him delete all of the images and videos you don’t want grams to see off his device at the very least. He obviously can not be trusted with electronics. He’s like a child with a gun. Take the gun away until he grows up.
Depends upon lots of things.
how long the relationship is
how good the relationship is
do you see a future with him or it’s just like we will see when the time comes
was it really an honest mistake
how much you trust him
how sorry and apologetic he is
made any efforts to show any empathy, guilt, etc or he’s gaslighting or just said sorry a few times and move on
is he a good person?
After answering all these questions, that you can figure our yourself probably (if you still need to talk, you can msg me anytime)
If the ans is like, long relationship, he’s a good bf, see a future with him as in marry and stuff, it was really a drunk mistake and he is sorry and it is being seen clearly from his actions how sorry he is
Don’t breakup at all, give him a chance, talk with each other and sort this out. If you need sometime, ask for the time. Not the break, some time.
If the ans are like, short term relation, don’t know much about each other yet, he is okayish, don’t know much about the future, haven’t thought like it or talked about it, he is sorry but just says sorry and now move on, etc
Take a break, see his behavior, take time for yourself, think it though and then decide.
He lost his picture privileges 🤷♂️ that’d be my move
Thats insane im so sorry that happened to you. Honestly hope you think about breaking up with him because no matter how drunk he was no one should be showing those pictures/videos to the world without your consent. Can’t imagine if he is around his friends or family and just randomly starts showing them while being drunk. Im so sorry you have to deal with this. I would also tell him to immediately delete all images and videos that are of you that could be considered inappropriate. I hope you are doing okay though. Sending ya lots of love
That really sucks.
You have a right to be angry and if you need to step back and take time, do it.
There’s a lot of good advice here, so I’ll try and add something of value without repeating what everyone else is saying…
Here’s my advice to you: If you decide to forgive him and restore the relationship, you need to be ready to completely let it go. The worst thing you could do is come back and hold it over him for the rest of your time together. It’s hard, I know, but this will be the start of a long and painful spiral if you aren’t able to address it and leave it in the past.
Resentment and shame will kill any relationship. It’ll either end in a horrific burn-out or it’ll last forever and you’ll both be miserable for it.
A quick side note: From your message, it sounds like he is apologetic. That’s good. It doesn’t make it right, but it’s better than saying “it’s not a big deal”. He can work through those feelings. Just toe the line carefully as you heal. He can’t rely on you to deal with his shame, but you need to have grace not to heap more shame upon him.
At the end of the day, you’re asking the right questions and I want to encourage you in that. I’m sorry this happened. I hope things get better.
What kind of pictures are we talking about. Just naked ? You getting railed? The type of picture can make a huge difference
My question, is where did he THINK he was sharing them?
I’m not asking for specifics but how NSFW are they. I mean, NSFW is subjective and there’s definitely a line that may have been crossed. Also, was it an accident or did he not believe they were NSFW.
Usually I try to give people the benefit of the doubt but how do you do that accidentally? Sounds like he was trying to send them to someone one way or another but idk. Seems sketchy
Were they shared intentionally while intoxicated…like ‘oh we look so good let me show her off” or he was drunk and looking at the pic and he hit a wrong button?
Not cool