Hi! I’m feeling really mad and upset right now and I’m not sure what to do. I (16F) am beginning to apply to universities. A safety school that I get free tuition at (my dad works there) had their admissions open so I began working on submitting it. I want to pursue an engineering degree, I’m between mechanical and electrical. Since I want to apply quickly so I get an early decision and alleviate my anxiety about general acceptances, I need to submit a major soon.
My boyfriend’s (17M) brother is an electrical engineering major so I asked my boyfriend if I could talk to him about his degree and ask him some questions. My boyfriend said yeah, but he’s not going to tell his brother where I’m applying. I asked why, and he said that it’s because it’s a major party school and that he doesn’t want his brother thinking that I’m a party animal. My boyfriend knows that I am very introverted and parties aren’t my scene. I disregarded the conversation and brought it up later because I was feeling really bad and honestly embarrassed about even applying there. He said the same thing about not wanting his brother to think that I’m a partier, and he added that I’m an amazing student and he doesn’t want anyone to think differently because of where I’m applying.
I’m honestly so angry because I don’t know why he’s making me feel so bad about applying to this school. It’s a safety and he knows that, it’s literally a last option. And even if I went there who cares, a degree is a degree. He’s also at a much bigger party school so I don’t know why he’s saying these things. I don’t think that anyone will assume that I’m stupid given that I’m applying for an engineering degree and it hurts that he’s ashamed to tell his own brother that I’m applying to this school because it makes me look like a stupid party animal. I don’t really know how to handle this because I’m really upset with him. Any advice is appreciated.
Comments
He’s a party animal. I think his brother already gives him shit for it. So, either he is projecting it on you or he’s insecure that hid brother might respect you morre?
Okay I say its legit just college like ur legit just learning, right??
So I say “who cares?” At least ur like succeeding in life… tell him that it’s just a school and that u just ain’t like that and it’s kinda stupid to hate on someone’s college choice
Idk really though so take this with a massive grain of salt dude
Also don’t hold a grudge cuz that messes ppl up sometimes
You’re bf is being a dick. Probably not the advice you wanted to hear. The issues are wrapped up in his insecurities and I couldn’t begin to guess why. Don’t let his problems live in your head.
I am a professor. Ignore anyone who tries to shame you for your choice of college. And NO adults talk about “safety schools” or worry about whether one place or another is party central. Irrelevant. Seriously. If you can possibly get a free education, that could make the difference between you being able to afford a house or being stuck in a horrible cockroach-infested rental because your student loans are costing you $2000 a month. Don’t call it a safety school, and NEVER BE ASHAMED! Go be the engineer you want to be, and be proud of your choices!
Sounds like a personal problem on the BF side, maybe he’s afraid he’s going to lose you when you go off to college.
Employers don’t care where the degree comes from, so spending the least on that education is the best choice.
And every college or university is a party town or party college, college is nothing but parties happening somewhere. I would say that argument would only hold merit if the college was like a spring break type hot spot and its girls gone wild everywhere all the time. Then I’d be like yeah I can see the concern. But I doubt it’s much worse than any other college or university.
Your bf sucks!! A degree is a degree and whatever’s cheaper means more than a name or prestige
That sounds like jealousy to me
He’s either struggling about deciding/getting into college himself or he’s jealous of what he views as a “boost” that he doesn’t have
OP if you’re able to get free tuition at this school I would honestly consider it as an option and not just a safety school unless you can get a scholarship to pay all your tuition at another school.