Is it a valid reason to break up with my boyfriend because I don’t like his best friend?
I’m a 26F and my boyfriend is 27M, we’ve been together for almost 2 years and have been living together for about 7 months. This is his first relationship. When I first met his best friend and the girlfriend, they seemed like cool people. My boyfriend and his best friend drank a lot in college and still drink together now , though my boyfriend has cut back heavily, his best friend hasn’t.
Whenever we all hang out, his best friend insists it has to turn into a rager. One time, he even slipped Molly into my boyfriend’s drink without him knowing because he thought it was “funny.” He also makes what he calls “jokes” that are really just ways to antagonize me and get a rise out of me.
Sometimes I feel like if his best friend told my boyfriend to break up with me, he would actually consider it. I’m all about having a good time, but not every Tuesday or weekend needs to last until 3 a.m. My boyfriend is okay with slowing down, but he tends to bend to whatever his best friend wants. I would never put someone in a position where they have to choose, but it’s starting to feel like there’s
a third person in my relationship.
Not sure how to proceed or what to do.
TL;DR debating on ending my relationship because my boyfriend best friend
Comments
Have you tried talking to him first. Seems like you’re pretty committed to the idea, if this is enough to break you guys then yes you should just break up
What does your bf say when you tell him that you feel like his friend is a problem and that your bf isn’t good at setting boundaries with him? If you’ve talked it to death and your bf is still beholden to what his best friend wants to do, then you’re not breaking up with your bf because of his friend, you are breaking up because your bf is either unable to stand up for himself and what he wants, or because he wants to have a lifestyle of getting shitfaced and staying up until 3am frequently.
>but he tends to bend to whatever his best friend wants.
You can break up with someone for any reason or no reason at all. But in this case, it’s not just that you simply don’t care for his best friend. His best friend is not a good person, and your BF has no boundaries or backbone. His friend drugs him, and he has no problem continuing to go along with whatever his friend wants.
It’s about what the friendship says about your boyfriend’s values. Keeping someone close who acts inappropriately and defending them when you point it out is concerning.
I mean if he didn’t drop his friend over slipping him drugs, I don’t think there’s anything that would end their friendship