We have all been there: you’re on a family vacation, trying to be the “chill” partner, and silently praying that you don’t snap at your in-laws before the week is over. But one 29-year-old woman on Reddit has officially reached her breaking point after four years of being treated like a total afterthought during her partner’s family holiday. Imagine being stuck in a remote river valley, ninety minutes from the nearest grocery store, only to find out that your “family” didn’t bother to buy the one tiny thing you asked for.
The Original Poster (OP) is currently on a summer getaway in the Southern Hemisphere with her 28-year-old partner and his family. Because the location is so remote, every single meal has to be planned and purchased in advance. There is no popping out for a quick McDonald’s run here. The OP, being the considerate human she is, handled the drinks and snacks for the group, making sure to buy cases of beverages that everyone would enjoy. She even admitted she’s a picky eater, but she usually just sucks it up and eats the “bare minimum” without making a scene.
But this year, she tried to advocate for herself. The family has a tradition of eating fish with a creamy sauce for breakfast—which, let’s be real, is a very specific and polarizing choice for 8:00 AM. Since she doesn’t eat fish, she asked them to pick up exactly two mini quiches during their grocery run so she wouldn’t be left staring at an empty plate. It was a small, simple request that would have cost them maybe five dollars and two minutes of effort.
When the OP woke up to the smell of fish this morning, she asked if anyone had seen her quiches. Her partner’s response? A casual “Oh, they didn’t buy them.” No explanation, no “we tried to find them but they were out,” just a blunt confirmation that her one meal requirement was ignored. Disheartened and hungry, the OP decided the best thing to do was to go back to bed and read her book. She didn’t scream, she didn’t throw the fish out the window; she just removed herself from a situation that made her feel invisible.
Of course, instead of realizing they were being inconsiderate jerks, the partner and his parents decided to make it her problem. The partner came into the room and begged her to “at least come sit with them” while they feasted. Let’s think about that for a second. They wanted her to sit at a table, smelling creamy fish breath, with absolutely zero food in front of her, just to keep up appearances. That isn’t a “family breakfast”; it’s a hostage situation with a side of malnutrition.
The OP made it very clear that this wasn’t about her being lazy. When it’s her turn to cook, she goes around the room like a short-order chef, asking everyone exactly how they want their eggs. She puts in the work to make sure everyone is happy and fed. Yet, when the roles are reversed, no one even bothered to toss a piece of bread in the toaster or fry a single egg for her. They just expected her to show up and watch them eat while her stomach growled.
The parents are now calling her “rude” for not joining the table, which is the ultimate gaslighting move. It is the height of entitlement to ignore someone’s basic needs and then get p!ssed off when they don’t want to perform “happy family” for your benefit. If you want someone at your table, the very least you can do is make sure there is something for them to put in their mouth. Calling her rude for being upset is just total bullsh!t.
The partner is also getting a massive side-eye from us. He knew they didn’t buy the quiches, and he seemingly did nothing about it. He didn’t offer to make her something else, and he didn’t stand up to his parents for being forgetful. Instead, he tried to guilt-trip her into sitting at the table so he wouldn’t feel uncomfortable. It’s a classic case of a partner choosing the path of least resistance with their parents instead of protecting their person.
The “picky eater” label is often used to make people feel like they are the problem, but having a boundary about not eating fish for breakfast isn’t “picky”—it’s a preference. And even if she was the pickiest person on earth, she asked for exactly what she needed. The family intentionally ignored her, and now they are playing the victim. It’s a power move designed to make her feel like her needs are a burden, and we are not here for it.
Sitting at a table with nothing to eat while everyone else enjoys a hot meal is humiliating. It sends a very clear message: “We don’t care about you, but we want you here to validate our experience.” The OP was right to stay in bed. Reading a book is a much better use of her time than sitting in a room full of people who can’t be bothered to buy a frozen quiche or fry a single egg.
So, is the OP the ahole? Absolutely not. NTA. Her in-laws are being selfish, and her partner needs to grow a spine and go find some bread and eggs. If they want her at the table, they need to treat her like a guest and a family member, not a ghost who doesn’t need to eat. We hope she stays in bed until someone brings her a plate of something that didn’t come out of the river.
What would you do if your in-laws “forgot” your food for the fourth year in a row? Would you sit at the table and “suffer through it,” or would you be checking the map for the quickest route back to civilization? Let us know in the comments if you think she should skip the rest of the family meals!
She’s not wrong, but also she should go to the grocery store and get what she wants her and her husband so I blame the husband
Tell the mother when the trip comes up next year, that because it is so far to the store that you think it is best if you do not join them for the holiday. Then, I know you will have a wonderful time!