bro fuck this crush thing

everyday I’m wondering does he like me? why doesn’t he? am i ugly/stupid/boring? he gives me kindness and trusts me with things and im thinking “wow this could be it” but then i snap back to reality and realistically why would someone like him go for someone like me??

it’s been over two months of this and it’s not getting better, i thought id be over him by now but im falling harder and harder by the day. why does he have to be so close to me? he’s so fucking nice to me, but he’s nice to others too.

we’ve gotten physically closer too, he doesn’t hesitate to touch my arms or legs or hands when giving me something or when joking/laughing with me. and he sits really close sometimes our legs touch. he even lets me take a bite of his food before he starts eating.

but everything he does for me i can see him doing for others too. plus, we have a small language gap, he’s not that confident with his english, and i’m just a beginner at his language. we do talk, but he’s way more talkative with others who speak his language, obviously because it’s easier for him.

i just want him. ive seen him at times where anyone else would’ve gotten the ick from him but i never cared.

he said hes reducing on smoking, and i keep wondering if its because there’s a new girl or if its because of health/money? i did mention i dont like his iqos machine and i prefer normal cigarettes, but that doesn’t mean he’d be reducing on iqos (and maybe to eventually stop completely), he’d be just switching to normal cigarettes.

but we do have 2 new girls in our course that told me they don’t like smokers, i don’t know if he heard that though or if they told him as well. does he like one of them?

please give me an outsiders view