oh and this goes without saying but i am absolutely not a subscriber to manosphere or matrix-infringed pharmaceuticals; i do however sincerely appreciate the balance of masculine and feminine energy within and between all of us
seems like half this sub (and generation in general) just dreads every bad thing about aging and masculinity as a whole; so for a breath of fresh air, what’s your favorite part of growing up and into your manhood and masculinity?
idk about yall but becoming a capital M Man is probably one of the best things i could experience in life (i hear child birth is cool too but ill save that one for my old lady)
i just turned 30 and personally – the confidence that comes with just bulldozing life and being able to understand that i am responsible for, and therefore in control of, everything that i hold dearly in life. i mean i get it, literally up until 27 i had given up on life because i thought i aged out my first semester of senior year of college. but something happened (it was a painkiller addiction, really solves a lot of problems, the medicine and LPT is getting off them and staying off them, tho sorry :/ ), and ever since, idk man i’m younger than ever
literally, i used to dread the sense of responsibility that came with being the “man of the house” (can u tell i don’t know my father?) like someone breaks in and wait hold up IM the one that has to go all splinter cell on them? but now? lol i trust absolutely no one else with that responsibility because i only trust my own capability
anyway, what’s y’all’s my brothers in arms
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My favorite part (and also my least favorite part) is that as a 6’2” “husky” male so little is expected of me and so much is taken for granted.
People look to you more for leadership, advice, and authority and it’s a genuine joy helping them out.
Bro 100000% not having to go through getting a period each month. Everytime my missus has one i thank god im not a girl fk that lol
I’m too old to give a shit what other people call me or think of me
Being able to pick up heavy stuff and not being afraid of walking at night almost anywhere.
Any time I want to make most people completely unable to make eye contact with me, I can just grow a mustache.
People listen when I offer advice. Being respected is pretty great
Being strong. Both mentally and physically.
The physical part is mostly by genetics – men naturally carry more muscle mass then women, more fast twitch type 2 muscle fibres and denser bones.
Being mentally strong I think has kind of been fostered and engrained by society and upbringing – we carry an obligation to keep struggling through hardships, not panic, find solutions and put others before our own discomfort. This may not be considered “right” or fair, but it’s what makes many men accomplish incredible and noble feats, like firemen risking their lives, soldiers on the frontlines, the men who worked to contain Chernobyl, warzone doctors, men who worked to dig survivors from the rubble of natural disasters, the first astronauts…
There’s plenty of women who do these things to, but I feel the majority of these roles are filled by men, driven by that mentality of masculine strength and being a protector.
The way my wife has started to look to me for leadership of our household since having a child has been affirming to my biology.
Becoming a dad, same thing. It really felt like the missing piece to me after 10+ years of existential angst through my 20s that I couldnt put my finger on.
Letting go of the bullshit and caring about those close to you. That urge to protect and provide, its the itch I live to scratch.
The slow but certain shedding of fuck-giving. I imagine it’s what it feels like for a bug or a reptile to molt.
Helping other people out. It seems like more people ask me for help or favors, sometimes advice. It’s nice to share your experience and help out.
I don’t know about becoming a man (as opposed to a woman), but I greatly enjoyed becoming an adult. I was more sure of myself and my path, and I understood who I was and had confidence in it. I got to choose my path and there was a freedom in that, even when I chose responsibility.
But, also, I like understanding things, and the world made much more sense to me as I learned more. Generally speaking, the older you get, the more chance your hard work has to actually impact your life. That’s not to suggest people aren’t impacted by circumstances largely out of their control (I certainly was), but there’s a lot of positives in it.
As you get older the less expectations you have of you in certain cases.
Women have too much expectations to look a certain way, act a certain way and do certain things. It’s tiring.
Being a father. It entails so much, I’ve two boys and I think becoming and being a dad has made a man of me more than other things I’ve done e.g. military, martial arts, sports and career. They pale in comparison to when I see my sons display sportsmanship or offer to help someone.
I love the confidence and self-possession/mastery that I didn’t have in my 20s. And I feel proud of the life wisdom and experience that I’ve accumulated and can share with others, especially younger colleagues (both men and women). Feeling physically vigorous and in the prime of life, while being able to be a legitimate counselor and mentor, is fucking powerful.
And this is perhaps selfish, but I recently re-entered the dating market and it feels like I’m playing with cheat codes. It turns out that when you add emotional intelligence, intellectual curiosity, and basic human decency on top of fitness, confidence, and goals, women treat you like the last helicopter out of Saigon. It absolutely rules.
What anxiety over aging and fear of masculinity? I am who I am. You dont like it, tough shit.
I’m a man who has spent so much of his life around women, and I’m glad that I get to side-step a lot of the nasty behavior women inflict upon each other.
While there are men who gossip and engage in rampant character assassination over perceived slights, it doesn’t seem as prevalent among men. I’d rather face my enemies directly (even if I lose), instead of passive-aggressively undermining them (everybody loses).
Becoming someone I truly love to be
There are better men than me and that’s how I want it.
For me the biggest one has been learning to stop ruminating. I was bullied a lot so I was crippled with resentment but I finally learned forgiveness. I was a slave to what I imagined the opinions of others to be. What I really like, is learning to shut the fuck up for a while. I spent almost my entire life running my mouth without thinking. I’ve done enough talking. It’s time for me to listen. I’m not contributing anything unless I know it’s needed or wanted
Part of it is maturity. I feel like I’ve grown and am not seen as a kid and nor do I see myself as one (but I am in touch with my inner child).
Being good at stuff. Its been a slow burn but I have a lot of skills and hobbies that I’ve grown good at. Soon I think I’ll be able to start making a little money from them
Freedom. Doing whatever you want. This is less true the more responsibilities you have like marriage, homemaking, children etc but still applies.
Money
High school football camaraderie was really cool.
A lot of men in their late 30s completely stop taking care of themselves. So if you still train hard and eat clean you really stand out. Zaddy energy, apparently.
The fact that I can finally grow a beard. Maybe it’s just my genetics but I could grow a goatee at 17, I had one little patch on my cheek at 20 but I couldn’t grow a proper beard til I was about 30.
My wife loves the gray hairs kicking in and assuming i don’t go bald, senile, or dead, when I go all the way gray, im getting dreads.
The maturity aspect that comes with age (aka intentional growth. I’ve met some 40 year old toddlers) I handle stuff a lot better than I would have at 20
Still tryna process the level of excitement my family has when I come home. Like yall are still happy to see me? Uh ok.
Lastly, being able to share what little bit of wisdom I’ve accumulated with the next generation like people have done for me. Hopefully it’s been a blessing to them.
I am not sure what you mean by fear of masculinity? I always looked up to masculinity, I didn’t fear it I aspired to it.
I guess then it would make sense that my favorite part of being a man is getting the respect of other men who also value masculinity.
The physical aspects. We’re like superheroes compared to women and children. We have superior strength and speed, we’re taller, more logical, we age slower, we gain weight slower, we cum faster, we’re the leaders of the free world, and we don’t deal with periods, bras, or menopause.
I have 3 sisters. I listen to their troubles and woes, some self inflicted, and thank God I’m a guy. Women, medically, have it a lot worse than guys in some cases, due to the relative complexity of the female body.
I think a lot of being masculine is being willing to do the hard, miserable thing that needs doing – going into the crawl space to turn off the leaky pipe, carrying the family dog to its grave, speaking up and facing violence when someone’s way out of line. It feels good to spare the people you love from having to do that shit by taking it on yourself.
We get pockets. Sometimes we need to check our pockets because we can’t remember which pocket is holding which item.
Men’s clothing sizes seem to be more consistent, except for shoes. Any man over a size 12 US has to experiment until we find a 13 or 14 that actually fits us correctly.
I can make small noises while stretching or enjoying that first sip of coffee and it’s seen as normal. Even attractive to some.
Immediate respect when you have a muscular frame. Men and women both default to your leadership
the monent I turned 30 I found it so much easier to tell people no.
As I get visibly older, hopefully the day when people will stop asking when I’m getting married/having kids.