I am a 24F my boyfriend 26M just got an efficiency yesterday. The lease is in my name only for reasoning that my boyfriend is a OTR truck driver so he will barely be at the home that’s what the landlord said.. my boyfriend wants to put cameras inside the house and said at first that it is to watch me if. I am not answering his calls and wants to see what I am doing. I asked if I could have access to the camera and was told no. I was very upset about that and tried to compromise.. but even after that I still feel uncomfortable with having a camera in my home being watched every second of the day… he decided to switch up his intentions and said that it is for other reasons such as security and other things along those lines. I told him that it could be off when someone is home but he did not want that at all.. I feel like I need advice and opinions on this situation if it is weird or just straight up creepy. I seriously feel like my privacy and dignity is at risk if thesse cameras are put up… if you want to hear more of a back story on what and how things ended up like this I would love to update but I need to hear other peoples views on this situation….
Edit: he also said he would give me access and I told him that I wanted to not have audio and when we are or I am home to not have it on and it was a no.. when I tell him I don’t want this I am being threatened and being showed as a bad person and it gets to a point when I’m being talked to and disrespected constantly yes I blew up in the past but I got to the time in my life where I’m tired.. I work 5 12 hour shifts a week at a hospital and I’m just very tired and don’t want to argue
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>I feel like I need advice and opinions on this situation if it is weird or just straight up creepy.
Yes it’s weird. Yes it’s creepy. No don’t do it.
Moreover, why would you accept anything when he’s so clearly not taking no for an answer.
Tell him to go fuck himself.
Congratulations, you just entered the doorway of a year’s, perhaps life, long abusive situation. This is unreasonable and ridiculously controlling behavior. Get out.
Please reconsider living with this man.
This can’t possibly be the first red flag. I don’t know you, but you deserve better.
if you can find one of your friends that thinks this is a good idea, do it.
It’s not too late to cancel your lease if you no longer want to rent the apartment. You will likely lose your deposit, but if you decide you don’t want the apartment NOW and talk to the landlord, you can probably work something out. (Tell him you are breaking up with your boyfriend and without his income, you won’t be able to pay the rent. The landlord will likely be happy to let you out of the lease now so he doesn’t have to evict you later. Don’t tell him you can pay the bills yourself unless you do want the apartment.)
This is not just “uncomfortable” — this is a massive red flag. You live there alone, the lease is in your name, and he’s demanding to watch you without giving you access or letting you turn the cameras off? That’s surveillance, not love. You’re not crazy for wanting peace in your own home. Honestly, this sounds controlling as hell.
Yeah that’s not normal. If he’s gonna put cameras up it would only make sense to allow you access as well. That’s super fishy, I would consider leaving.
Get rid of him. That is way beyond creepy and controlling. It will only get worse.