29F and 28M. We’ve been dating for 6 months and have recently began talking about what the future might look like for us. He recently asked if I could see us living together eventually and I said maybe within the next year we can look at getting a place together. He seems really serious about me and the relationship.
There is just one thing that’s given me pause since we started dating. I feel like he smokes too much weed. He usually smokes every night before bed and then during the day Sunday which is his “relaxing day”.
I just would not find it fulfilling to live with a partner that’s stoned whenever we’re at home. I also prefer him when he’s sober. It hasn’t been much of an issue thus far because we go on lots of dates and he doesn’t smoke before those, and if I don’t want to sit around getting high and watching movies at night I can just go home or go out with my friends. But he has been asking more serious questions about the future lately and I can see this being an issue for me if we intertwine our lives further.
Should I bring it up? I’m not in the business of trying to change men, and maybe I shouldn’t have gotten serious so quickly with him knowing I didn’t like this aspect. He is very good to me and seems to care a lot about me. I think he would probably adjust this behaviour if he knew it meant a lot to me. I guess I am just worried about seeming too critical of him because aside from this habit I have no complaints and he’s been a great boyfriend.
tl:dr: New bf smokes too much pot for my liking. It’s not a huge deal right now but he has been asking me about moving in together in the future and I can’t see myself living with him if he has this habit. What do I do/say?