Location: New Jersey
My daughter (almost 10) currently has my maiden name as her last name. I got married 3 years ago but have not changed my name because I wanted to keep it the same as my daughter’s. Now I am pregnant and my son will have my husband’s last name. I want to have my name changed to my husband’s and my daughter wants the same thing. She has expressed on multiple occasions that she doesn’t like that we all have different names. She’s also very excited about her new brother and wants to match him as well.
Background: My daughter had her biological father’s last name on her original birth certificate, but he ended up being a drug addict. We were never married, so when I got full physical and legal custody, we also had her name changed to my last name with his consent. We had minimal off and on contact with him for a few years but now haven’t heard from him at all in 5 years. I don’t even know if he’s alive to be honest. He has never paid child support. My daughter has been raised by my husband since she was 2 but he has never legally adopted her.
Will it be doable to change her name a third time? Would the court take into consideration her wishes? And what are the steps I would have to take? Thank you!
Comments
Here is a handy guide from the New Jersey courts on how to change the name of a minor.
ETA: and here’s a far more detailed guide including the necessary forms
You should really have her adopted by your husband. If you were to die suddenly (say in the traffic accident) he’d have no right to raise her. This is bigger than a name. Once she’s adopted, then the name change is relatively easy.
It’s not so much the amount of times and her wishes but the consent of both legal parents. You’d need to locate him and get him to consent again.
You should be pursuing a stepparent adoption due to abandonment. This will allow the name change, but you should be more focused on making sure your child is legally your husband’s daughter in the event that something happens to you.