I’ve seen so many “I love my husband!” and “Married life is the best” posts and comments as well as the “my friend got married 30 days after a break up and now shes happy. Yeah ok good for you, gtfomf.
I want to hear from those women that remained single and having a blast whether by choice or not by choice. You’re making the best of your life anyway. Tagging this as relationships for self-love!
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Most of my friends are unmarried. We’re in our late 20s starting to get into our 30s. We’re happy and still feel like we did in our school days. Just having fun and travelling and doing our own things. Seems pretty normal from where I am to be unmarried and not have any prospects at 30. Enjoying that!
>Yeah ok good for you, gtfomf.
What’s with the vitriol? Sub is for all women over 30 and it’s pretty selfish to say partnered women need to “gtfo”. There are plenty of posts/comments by happy single women who are having a blast.
In fact one of the concerns brought up by single women here is that singledom is being romanticised too much and they aren’t receiving support when they moan the lack of a partner, which is also valid.
Btw I’m not married either and I’m happy as a clam.
You are angry. There will always be a lot of married women AND a lot of single women. There will also be happy, sad, struggling and striving women.
You should see all of it!
While I’m happy in modern times there is a movement to normalize being a single woman after 30, let’s not disparage happily married women. Everyone has is on their own journey through life and happiness looks different for everyone. I’m single and pretty happy, but wouldn’t say I’m happier than every married woman I know. It’s not a competition, no need to compare. Women need to do a better job of uplifting and supporting one another regardless of individual circumstances.
lol why are you so salty? I’m single by choice too but I’m genuinely at peace with the idea so I’m happy for people who are happy to be partnered and I’m equally happy to find others who are in the single club. Live and let live
You sound bitter. If you actually enjoyed being single, you wouldn’t ask women in relationships to gtfo.
I’m so happy being single at 33! I have a beautiful apartment for me and my cat. Everything in it is mine and exactly how I like it. I’m taking two international trips this year with my best friends (who aren’t single but always make time for me and our friendship). I’ve been discovering new hobbies this year like pottery. I’ve gotten really good at being okay being alone in public so if people aren’t free – I’ll just do shit by myself. I go to museums, theater performances, movies, I’ll even take myself out on expensive dates (complete with a ferry ride at sunset). Honestly my life now is way more romanticized than when I was in a relationship. Being so independently content has really decreased that desperation I used to have to be in a relationship and allowed me to significantly raise my standards. I still date but I lose interest pretty quick if anything is too much effort or if we’re simply not compatible.
I don’t think OP sounds bitter. She shared a situation of someone getting married very shortly after a break up and acting as if their life is perfectly happy now. I’ve definitely seen this play out. Maybe it was an unfortunate phrasing or an unnecessary example, but I think OP just says that she wants to hear good stories of people being single.
As far as I see, this is askwomenover30, not ask “single” or “married” women over 30. Plus I see a lot more women posting about being single and happy which is awesome for them. Sheesh. How about support your fellow women?
Not me but my best friend. She’s 38, owns her own home, is doing DIY projects around the house, she owns her own law firm, she does gardening, she raises chickens, she does volleyball every week. Hasn’t had a man in years, happily single, living her best life.
I am nearly 40 and have been single my whole life. I’ve had some casual interactions with men, but nothing of substance. Initially I started working on my self-esteem, assertiveness, etc., but I’ve found now when I choose me, being single is totally by choice. I felt forced into doing this work initially, but it grew on me lol. Yes to self-love, and yes to taking this time to exploring your own sexuality (meaning what you like and don’t like) irrespective of a partner too.
What does romanticizing single life have to go with happily married/partnered women?
Both can be happy – you don’t have to tell one to gtfo so that the other shines. Both choices are valid.
I genuinely find single life more romantic. I always found being in a couple suffocating. It’s not for me.
I was pretty much single most of my 30s w occasional dates/situationships here and there. I broke up w someone in my early 30s. Took a long time to heal. Learned a lot about myself and what I wanted especially in a partner and did not settle just to be w someone. I met people who I’d like to call lifetime friends. I also realized who weren’t my true friends. I went to many concerts, especially festivals. I didn’t meet my husband til after I turned 40. I don’t regret not settling for someone because society told me that my biological clock was ticking and to get married, or loneliness may have kicked in once in a blue moon. My husband and I have been together now for 5 years, married almost for one. I found someone that loves me and I found someone that I can’t picture not having in my life. There are times we talk about our past lives and I’ve told him I wouldn’t have dated him if we met in my 20s and possibly in my early 30s because there are things he wanted in a partner that I wouldn’t have been okay with because I wasn’t confident in myself yet.
I’m single by choice and happy but I don’t think it’s good to exclude those who choose a different path and are happy. It’s ‘Ask Women Over 30’ and that will reflect a range of lifestyles and views. There are subreddits that cater to the single by choice crowd which may be worth looking at.
I was single 30-37 (well a few relationships and situationships in there) but looking back that time was amazing.
I had serious adventures, traveled all over, met and connected with all sorts of men, figured out what I liked and didn’t like. Gathered stories. Met amazing people. Pursued a degree. Got fit af.
Single thirties was amazing actually. There was a freedom feeling and also an openness to people and adventures that now post 40 and married I don’t have as much. Sometimes I miss that.
Enjoy it.
I love being single and honestly cannot imagine having to share everything with someone else.
That being said, I also fully acknowledge that some things are harder leading a single life. Groceries are always my go-to. I don’t have a car and live in a place with great public transit BUT I can only carry so much.
Separately, I just saw a reel about single life and how we’re essentially doing all of the work – 100% home life and 100% work life (and of course all personal life too) and that’s not feasible for any person to always get everything done. If I just can’t get to the dishes or the laundry, that’s not a failing. I’ll get to it eventually. (The video was much more succinct and just a better explanation, but I love the ideal behind it.)
Sunday
6:00 AM – I wake up naturally, like a starfish, belly down. I open my window and see my olive tree and the sea changing colour with the first morning light. The crisp air comes in the room and I let it circulate. I brush my teeth, make my bed and think of my todo list for today.
6:15 AM – I realise, there’s no todo list because everything is clean and in place already. I open the rest of the windows in my home. I feed the neighbourhood cat. I prepare my coffee and slowly sip it outside, thinking, which swimsuit to wear today, and which book to take with me to the beach.
6:45 AM – I’m followed by the same cat from my gate to the shore. I swim intensively for an hour, and lay on my towel to read until the sun starts getting warm.
9:00 AM – I’m back home, and take a shower. I then make a proper breakfast. What will it be today? French toast? Fruit salad? Eggs?
10:00 AM – Computer time! Either a personal project, or checking what my Sims family is up to.
12:00 PM – Grab a fruit and frolic at the veranda doing nothing.
12:30 PM – Call my family for a chat.
13:00 PM – I check online for a new recipe to try. Exciting!
14:30 PM – There’s so much leftover, no need to cook tomorrow. Time for a nap.
16:30 PM – I get a nice glass of sparkling water to the veranda with the book I started reading, or a crochet project.
18:00 PM – Back to the beach for another hour of relaxed swim this time. Meet my neighbours there and have a floaty chat.
19:30 PM – Shower and out of the house to shop for groceries.
20:30 PM – Feed the kitty and have a light salad for dinner. Wash the dishes in 5 minutes. Apply a face mask and watch the sunset with it on. Scroll my dating app but I get bored quickly. I delete it.
21:30 PM – Go to bed. Put an episode of something on and watch it with fairy lights.
22:00 PM – See you tomorrow!
This is so silly. No one’s hating on women over 30 with partners and kids. OP just doesn’t want to hear about it all the time. She’d rather hear about women who are happily single. It’s not a crime or attack to feel that way.
A good amount of posts on this sub are all about women complaining about their husband/relationship anyways. Not everyone wants to see that either. Why does someone always have to take offense bc a person says they don’t want to hear about a specific lifestyle all the time? That’s like a broad sports sub that mainly posts about golf when there are plenty of people who are interested in soccer or tennis.
I’d love to hear about women who enjoy their life single before they seek a relationship if that’s what they want. It’s not a personal attack on you, your husband, or your kids Susan. 🙄