Multiple train wrecks going on in my life.
Worked in a lower level healthcare job for years(8). I really enjoyed it. But eventually, My knees got injured(during a fight with a drug addict) and I couldn’t do it anymore. Worker’s comp screwed me. Should’ve had surgery but didn’t. Can’t afford it now.
I finished my Stem degree after I quit and got a bunch of certifications. Was constantly told my resume looks amazing and I should have no problems finding a entry level job. I can’t even get companies to give me the time of day.
Me and my wife are voluntarily surrendering our home. It was just a matter of time before we lost it anyways. Me, my wife, and my daughter are moving in with my mom while we try to recover. Uber and Spark is our only income at the moment.
I’ve gained weight from leaving my active job and not being able to lift weights and excercise like I use to. My body just feels done and gone.
I don’t have any friends. I was stupid and thought my old coworkers were my friends for years. Nobody from there has texted me or anything in a year. My friends from my early 20s are long gone.
Overall.. Feeling like I was a great employee for 8+ years, did everything I was suppose to do, got injured, and thrown away like garbage. It’s hard not to be bitter.
Is there any hope for me? I feel like I’ve hit the deadline on when I should’ve had my shit together. Now, It feels like I’m gonna be stuck impoverished the rest of my life.
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Hang in there. Life comes In through the back door sometimes. Just keep plugging. Keep your head up and your eyes open all the time to new opportunities for your daughter’s sake, and you will find something.
Even if you don’t know where you are going, just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and your new direction will find you.
You’ve got to take care of your health so you can keep your mind sharp.
It sucks… I am on the job search.
Whatever you want to be and do, it starts now.
You have nothing to lose when you lost everything.
Your parent, wife and daughter are still with you. Now, make the best out of it. Don’t lose hope yet.
What kind of STEM degree do you have?
In my experience coworkers are just that and nothing more.
Don’t stop trying.
You are going through some very hard times. It’s not your fault. You’re doing your best have had some bad luck and tough situations. You may need time to adapt to find a new path, but you can find it. Don’t feel hopeless and don’t feel like the things that have happened to you are everything of all that life has to offer you
At 62, with 2 divorces, health issues, i can tell you…….This too shall pass. Keep going is gets better….. but remember when it gets better it will again get worse….. that’s life..
Id look at entry level health administration route positions. Analysts, quality managers, possibly coding, rev cycle etc.
You ll be ok mate
Also having a wife a daughter is such a blessing i am very happy for you i am sure they will be your motivation to overcome all the shit life gave you
You can recover, you will
Take care
I think we are all capable of winning and losing several fortunes in this life, so think of this as your first real major loss with more wins just right around the corner. You are fortunate that you have a place to fall back on. Use that time to break down the various factors that got you there and take stock of all the good things you have in your life: loving parents, a solid life partner and loving daughter. Find that time to get off the couch and go for walks, gain perspective on your issues and then start to reevaluate that work resume.
I just recently landed a position in another state. I went for four years without a position in my profession, but I did my best to put my skill set to work in a nice little part time job I found locally. At the beginning I thought it would just be a summer gig, in the end I worked it for a little more than three years. I came to love that job and had a hard time leaving. That job represented my third or fourth fall from grace. I made a lot of life changes over the course of those four years and that work paid off. Sometimes we fall into things that we least expect see come into our lives. I think you’ll be okay. Put this episode of your life into perspective, take stock of your assets and take on that next position with a sort of humbleness that comes around when you are in a mode of recovery. Life can be cruel, but you have good things going for you. Be well, good luck. I believe in you. C
Crashed at just under 30. On the upswing now. Recovering like a champ. So I would say yes.
I don’t know what to say; except that to say this is fucking tough and I am sorry. I heard a reframe yesterday that might help or might not.
When you have lost everything; you have nothing to loose. You can take bigger risks.
What that looks like for you I don’t know. For me it was going back to study and doing my masters in counselling.
Take care, mate. You’ll get through this.
One, begin exercising. Helps reduce stress and can lead to networking (believe it or not).
Two, you could live until you’re 100+. A lot of year between now and then. Slow down and try and take one step at a time. Figure out what your goal is, draw up a plan on how to accomplish it, and start moving.
Three, who cares if you don’t have friends. As you get older, you will have fewer and fewer friends life happens and you understand who is there for you and who isn’t. Network as much as possible, whether it’s a running club, hobby club, family connections, etc. it’s easy to be nice and help as many people as you can, even if you need more help. Do what you can and you’ll be surprised at how it improves your life.
Consult a WC attorney you might be able to to re open your WC claim
You can recover after crashing in your 80’s.
I was rock button in my 30s. No where to go but up. I’m like 1000% happier now a days.
I think most adults are truly reinvented at some point or multiple points. Anyone can because a different person every 10 years or so.
We all hit bumps in the road dude. Today’s the first day of the rest of your life. Make a plan and have at it!
In my early thirties, I developed an inoperable benign brain tumor. It did a lot of damage and almost killed me. Had to drop out of college, wasted my MGI Bill, couldn’t drive, sold my truck and motorcycle, did end of life planning, could barely even get out of bed from fatigue and body atrophy, and could barely have conversations due to cognitive decline so I lost all my friends. Also got divorced during my long road to recovery. I am now in my late 40s, have my own business, own a house. I have a good quality of life with good friends. I am happy and looking to the future and feeling positive.
It is never too late to start over. It is very difficult road, especially if you have physical or cognitive recovery to work through, but it is possible and you can do it. It will probably feel extremely frustrating like taking two steps forward and then one step back over and over again. But you can move forward and make it through this and it is worth the struggle.
You are going to need to take some time to grieve your life.
Once you get that out of your system, it’s time to get working. Use your college and get some internships. Join professional groups. Just network. Who you know will get you in the door at a job more than any online application. The invisible job market is critical.
I had my whole world fall apart in my early 30s. Health, career, finances. I barely hung onto my home by the skin of my teeth, but I was also renting out a room, and doing side jobs.
A decade later, I’m more successful in my new career than I would have ever been in my original one. I’ve learned to pivot in my career more effectively. I”ve even added a master’s degree. Have a family and a house, and too many expensive hobbies. I actually have savings and investments. I may even be able to retire some day!
I’ve had other setbacks, other problems, other catastrophes. The solutions don’t happen immediately. But you work one step at a time, on good days and bad, and you eventually end up in a place you never expected.
Plenty of hope!
I went through a severe downfall myself and, now that I’m a little more aware of seeing it occur after going through that and recovering, you are definitely NOT alone. There’s a lot of us in our 30s who have taken huge hits these past few years.
You’re not old, there’s still PLENTY of time to start down a new path. You can feel safe taking your time and getting through what you’re going through.
Personally, I wasted a lot of time trying to cling to all these things that were falling apart and trying to salvage what I could, refusing to let go and let myself take on something new. I was stuck in the whole “sunk cost” thing. I felt like my life was over and that it’d be meaningless to start over in life and make new friends, etc…
Be patient with the process and yourself, don’t think too hard about it, and just take the first step in any direction when you can.
Thinking you can’t cause youre in your 30s now is a total loser mindset. You are pretty much in your prime man.
Stop talking like it’s over, and start talking about what’s next. You have a whole STEM degree? Head over to r/resume.
Yes
tomorrow is a NEW DAY so you can do with it what you want, even to start over or to start anew
You’re never to old to start over unless you’re in the ground
Find a lower level job and keep hanging on
Yes! I’m doing pretty well in a career I love. I just bought a house last year. I’m engaged.
You never know where life will take you but keep taking the roads that veer in the direction where you want to go.
Make that a fundamental habit you practice. Everything is always moving so just direct it all in a singular direction as you get pulled along with it.
10 years ago I lost almost everything I thought of as ‘my life’ but your life is as open to as many chapters as you’re willing to write while you have the time and opportunity to write it.
Take it as a learning lesson and do better. that’s all you can do.. Go out in the world and make new friends, look for new jobs. If you expected to find the Job YOU want overnight. Good luck.. your chances are slim in this economy. But something like uber that you’re doing right now is better than nothing.. Start small until you land something that fits your skills set and companies are willing to hire you then you can go from there. it doesn’t heart. It’s more about YOU can’t give up the comfort of your life style up temporarily. Gotta learn how to change that mindset in your marriage. Your wife and kids needs to change that mindset as well to be able to grow into this new world for a bit.
The biggest threat to anyone in the world is when a Man has nothing to lose no more. You’re untouchable. People can’t get under your skin, you have nothing for them there anyways. Never be loyal to a company. Be loyal to yourself first. Always pick yourself first That’s how you survive. When you put your life in other people’s hands. That’s how they fawk you up!!! Nobody in this world has good intentions for your life, but you.
Oh, the many things I could accomplish if I were starting over again with nothing at the age of 30.
hang in there you’re gonna be alright. you’re down but not out
I’ve recovered and rebuilt my life many times over. Never give up hope and never stop trying.
This is where you dig deep and do a little work on the mental. Life has been very hard on you and you deserve a period to get yourself back in order but you cannot give up. People have come back from way way worse situations. You got this.
Look at what you have: your mind, most of your body, your family, higher education.
It also doesn’t hurt to talk to an employment lawyer to see if you have anything there for ADA noncompliance or illegal firing.
Join f3 nation. It’s a free men’s workout group
I’m 34 just got up to 110k a year with zero degree. So I’d say yes.