Hi, im in a wlw relationship of 8 months, 21 F and 23 F, but this has been true of relationships I’ve had with men too. I just can’t stop texting my partner. Anytime something happens or anytime I have a nice conversation or a bad one I just wanna tell her. She’s told me she wants some space and doesn’t wanna have so many texts to respond to (which I understand). I think my urge is probably fueled by some sort of anxiety—like I wanna share every part of my life with her even if that’s not necessary. I need to work on independence in that way, but having an experience without her feels like betrayal or distancing. Has anyone else experienced this and how do you regulate it?
Tl;dr I text my gf too much and she wants space. How do I stop wanting to text her sm?
Comments
You need to understand the concept of boundaries and space, and I mean this in the nicest way possible. It doesn’t mean she hates you or she’s going to dump you. She just wants space, and space is healthy.
Get a different gf. This is a major incompatibility. My husband and i text all day every day, and are both ok with it because we have matching desires and comfortable ranges for communication.
Write it in a journal. Then next time you can tell her everything and you’ll have lots to talk about. Pretend it’s the 90s and throw your phone away. Fine to want to share your experiences with her, but the sharing doesn’t neccessarily have to happen instantly. You can experience something just for you and then tell her later.
Gotta remember that every time you text she gets a notification on her phone, she has to read it and think about it, give her attention to it and figure out how to respond to it. Which takes her focus from whatever she’s doing. If that’s happening all throughout the day it can be really draining. Cause she probably feels bad ignoring your texts too and feels obligated to respond.
I would love a bf who wanted to talk all day. Unless you’re getting upset if she can’t respond then I think it’s just a compatibility issue