At the end of the day, my bf asks if im “horny” or wants to get intimate, but then i responded im tired. its was also a holiday (Canada day) and and our 4 month anniversary day, so my bf was a bit sad that i wasnt feeling that way. After he asked that He also said he thought i was losing intimacy with him, because of different signs he saw throughout the day compared to other days.
Now this is the part that idk if it’s guilt tripping or just expressing his feelings but then he asked “on our 4 month anniversary?” and said things like “u don’t even love me anymore” “ur not attracted to me”. Then I said “oh you’re guilt tripping me”. After this all happened he claims he wasnt trying to or had no expectation of sex and was trying to seek reassurance. however i kept saying that he was trying to guilt trip me, and that got him more mad, because he said that was not the case, but i was saying that he got mad because of rejection of sex.
Now im wondering maybe i was wrong and the one trying to make him feel guilty or something after he expressed his feelings or was my boyfriend guilt tripping me in having sex.
Comments
He was and is acting like a child. You weren’t wrong. He can be a big boy and not sulk about it.
Your boyfriend is immature. He should stop being a jerk and the grow the fuck up.
He’s wrong
Dump your boyfriend
This is not a relationship, this is a guy who wants a girlfriend to f*ck whenever he wants to f*ck. Sexual compatibility is about communication and frequency. If your not on the same page and one party is complaining all the time then your not compatible.
The first year of dating is just about fun and compatibility. If you’re having deep problems during the first year or arguments about sex, then you’re not compatible.
Als,o it’s not gaslighting it’s whining like a child. He’s being a man child about not having sex by asking you over and over again about your attraction as it pertains to sex. He isn’t asking about wanting you to be more considerate about where you eat or what kind of food you both prepare. He isn’t asking you to make sure you’re not messy in the bathroom with toiletries or late all the time when you agree to plans. He’s bagging about sexual attraction when you don’t feel like having sex and not loving him when you don’t feel like having sex.
That’s a child’s response. He needs assurance from what happened one day? 4 month anniversary? This is nonsense.
Dump your boyfriend. Don’t explain or go on and on about it all just let him know that you don’t think your compatible and your not interested in pursuing the relationship. Tell him good luck, and then block him on everything. He’s not worth a second more of your time.
This is why he isn’t dating someone his own age.
He is an immature meathead that seems to think emotional manipulation is ok
Dump him. 100% manipulation.
He may have a hypervigilance to abandonment and rejection from his life and experiences growing up. I’m getting that feeling moreso than a deliberate or at least *conscious* attempt to guilt trip, but situations like this will likely become stronger and more often from here on. I’m reminded of those with BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder); not trying to diagnose anybody, but maybe you could go see if that disorder seems to fit his description.
You’re not wrong for feeling confused and that something’s off about this. Your instincts are correct, and it will probably be a challenge to work with; are you equipped for it; do you feel like you could take more of it while validating his feelings and showing up emotionally for him while still having firm boundaries for yourself while not making him feel rejected? It can be a very fine line.
There’s no such thing as a 4 month anniversary.
There’s annual anniversaries. Also known as… anniversaries.