throwaway account obviously
Sooo.. me (22f) and my bf (24m) have been dating for a couple years. We recently moved in together a few months ago. This week as I was leaving to go to see my friend I forgot something in the house and went back in and upstairs to go fetch it, that’s when I heard talking coming from our bedroom, I thought nothing as it couldve just been a phone call until I heard moaning and my boyfriend dirty talking.
He was somehow so into it he didn’t even hear me rushing about 🤷‍♀️ I looked in and he was butt ass naked phone pointed at his groin doing the obvious and talking to some woman on the other end.
He noticed me, complete shock on his face, hung up the call and started saying its not what I think it is (wtf??) that it was just a porn vid but I could clearly hear them talking about specific things when I was listening in. I asked to see his phone or no matter what it was gonna be over for us and he gave it to me.
What I found was chats of sexual pics, conversations and sending eachother porn even general convos between this woman and others that was going on for YEARS and he didnt even hide his identity as he had shown them selfies, Tbh I just started crying and he tried no console me that they meant nothing that it was just online stuff he got entangled into and didn’t see it as cheating in his brain, but he literally asked a woman if she was ever gonna visit him that he wanted to hookup. He still denies meeting anyone but has given me full access to his phone.
What do I do??? Any advice is appreciated. thanks.
Comments
It’s not gonna stop. He’s just gonna be more cautious next time or find a better way to hide it. Been there…done that.
Leave…now. The fact that this has been going on for years is horrifying. How much longer would it have gone on if you didn’t catch him in the act. It’s not even the sex talk bc I might be able to get over that. It’s the lying, deception, & gaslighting that came along with it.Â
don’t trust him, he broke your trust, and this hasn’t been a one time thing it’s been on going. leaving would be best.
staying would just make you paranoid that he’s doing it again. or you’d worry that he’s going out and physically cheating too, you even have evidence that he’s thought about it.
take care of yourself and leave. he isn’t worth it and he clearly doesn’t have enough respect for you.
You have now a porn addict boyfriend. Continue to live with him and you will catch him doing more of such interesting things.
Just know he will never stop doing that. Search a bit about porn addicts, and see the seriousness of this issue.
There are guys around the world, and many, who are not lazy and equipped with soul and sexeual skills to enjoy real woman.
One of my boyfriend in the past was porn addict, and he was in delusion in general – like it was good sex he was making – and he was respectful for woman – etc.
After almost six months, I cheated him. He blamed me for that (as if I cared anymore) – saying he was not cheating me – it was something else – not real – screen thing and phone thing. Do you see? And now they are calling all their insecurities ‘quirks’ – funny and sad though
Leave him, he can’t be honest with you about why. And he shouldn’t have done it anyway. You deserve better. Those saying he is a “porn addict” are wrong, he is just a dickhead.
That’s just gross. I know a girl that something similar happened to. She forgave him, he stopped, they have a baby now. I think it’s pathetic though. Why not go find someone who would never do this to you.
If your future child came to you with this story what would you say to them?
Leave. It’s not going to change or get better.