Long story short – my fiancé went to Mississippi for a week to see her best friend. She has always been close with her and her family. I was unable to go with due to my work schedule and we need the money anyways. For a while, we’ve been having some issues in the relationship. For over a decade I’ve struggled with porn and it had a major impact on our relationship. Outside of that, we were not intimate for nearly 8 months due to a medication she was taking and have had some minor issues with my family as well. All said and done – she deserved the vacation. Well, while on vacation I have come to find out she cheated on me with her friend’s brother. Unknown exactly what happened but I’ve seen messages since she’s been home that state SHE made the move on him. And now, as of just last night, she’s been sending him sexual pics and messages.
How do I handle this?
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Confront her using the texts for evidence just in case she tries to deny
You mean ex-fiancé right?
I mean, you handle it by saying “you cheated and we are done.”
If cheating isn’t something you can forgive then you gotta break up, I personally wouldn’t even wait to see what happened before, the photos being sent is more than enough so it’s really up to you if you can look past cheating, not bring it up and move on, there’s the added fact that she’s still sending him sexual photos so yeah all I see is red flags
So she wasn’t able to be intimate with you while on the medication, but was with him? I’d question that first.
This relationship sounds like a mess, tbh. Have you gotten any kind of help for the porn? And now she’s cheating.
I think first and foremost, if you don’t want to end it, therapy for you both (separately and together) is in strong order.
Well first off OP. You know. And she doesn’t know that you know. So you are in a position of unusual power. Up until the time you confront her you have complete freedom of movement and action.
First you have to work out what your perfect endgame is. Then you need to work out exactly how you can bring this about. The good news is that she’s your fiancé and not your wife. The REALLY good news is that you don’t have children together. (Unless she’s now pregnant).
Take it slow and easy. Plan. Prepare. Then execute. No confrontation. No discussion. Because you are doing this on your own terms. You are going to be a gazillion miles ahead both mentally and emotionally of most betrayed. Good luck.
Just end it and say you found someone more worthy and thank her for the time.
Stating the obvious here but it’s all dependant on what you want to do. If you want to still be with her it’s going to take a whole lot of work (dependant on if she actually still wants to be in the relationship) to get past this. Then if you don’t want to continue the relationship then just break it off.
Either way your going to have to confront this. Say that you’ve seen all the evidence you need to and what this has done to you. Sure you have had your issues that have affected the relationship, it’s nowhere near the level of hurt as cheating is.
I’m getting the feeling it will be better to move on from this and work on yourself, and the issues that have been brought up on your end, before putting yourself out there. I know cheating is a hard line for me and I couldn’t be with anyone who did that, you need to figure out if that’s something you can accept and forgive or not.
Regardless hopefully your doing as well as you can be and sort this out 👍
8 months no coochie? That’s a room mate
By ending the relationship? Why would you stay with a cheater.
Dump her and move on.
You leave ? There is no fixing this