Me (23F) and my boyfriend (24M) have been together for about a year and a half now, and there’s just something he’s doing that just don’t seem right. Last night I caught this man having a wnk in bed while I’m laid next to his, I thought it was just in my head at first put out my hand on his leg to find he’d pulled his boxers half way down his thighs and was hard. I’ve mentioned over previous months that I feel like he’s doing it in bed next to me while I’m sleeping and he’s always used the excuse “I’m sleeping I don’t know what I’m doing”. A few weeks ago I felt him pull his boxers down in bed and then back up again about half hour later but didn’t think anything of it, mentioned it to him and his response was “did I?” Anyway last night I knew for certain he was doing it, I went downstairs and slept on the sofa and then tonight told him why I’ve been in mood and upset all day, when I told him what happened he claims he was ‘sleeping’ and that he doesn’t know what he’s doing when he’s sleeping, I told him he’s making me look like a mug and I feel like he’s lying to me and his response was “okay”. He’s lied to me about something very similar before over months and months of me feeling like I was crazy and now this, I know he wasn’t sleeping because this man is a snorer and he wasn’t snoring. I don’t know what to do? Am I going crazy? Is this normal? Men, is this something you just ‘do’ when you’re ‘sleeping’? Like how’re you sleeping but pull your boxers half way down and start wn*ing, it just doesn’t seem right!
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Well he is not sleeping. Try to communicate with him why he starts wanking in the middle of the night and try to figure out how to solve this if it’s an issue. If you’re not comfortable with it then maybe he can just do it in the bathroom or something? Or if you don’t mind it then maybe just let him do his thing and sleep on I guess
So you just lay there and don’t tell him to stop? That’s a sure way to find out if he’s sleeping or not. I’ve (F)straight up had an orgasm while dreaming. The orgasm woke me up. I had no idea the right spot was being stimulated but boy was it. So, sit up and tell him to stop, or have sex. Lol
Whether he is sleeping or not what is wrong with him m-bating next to you? It’s a very natural thing.
My ex boyfriend did this every night I stayed at his place. He had a porn addiction. Could very likely be the case here as well. He also used to make the excuse that he’s “doing it in his sleep”.
I had a boyfriend who I lived with that would sometimes, in his sleep, seemingly wake up and start rubbing all over me, kissing etc waking me up and then have sex and fall right back asleep. It was only after the 3rd or so time this happened I mentioned it the morning after and he never remembered any of it. I’d of course consent, but he truly was sleep fucking me. At first I didn’t believe him, but his reaction was absolutely genuine and almost nervous that he couldn’t remember it.
Not saying this guy is doing that as he jerks off. But I’ve had that where I’ve woken up to my partner doing that and it feels so fucked up for some reason. Just wake me up? Kiss ME, you have a naked partner right next to you who would fully just have sex. It seems like a slap in the face. Like you’re almost not good enough, you know?
dont listen to ppl saying its natural. its only natural if hes completely asleep which you really suspect hes not. id trust my gut tbh. if you think hes doing it on purpose, deliberately ignoring you when you say its uncomfortable, and hes lied to you abt amth else for months making you crazy, hes not the one. a good bf wouldnt do that at all, would listen to your boundries, and would never make you feel crazy. its up to you to move how you see fit but did recommend breaking up (ik thats the first reaction on reddit but sometimes you need to do whats best for you and your life) as he doesnt sound like he respects your feeling very much. at the wnd of the day though, yk him best and i hope you get the courage to get what you want and deserve 🙏
I used to do it sometimes when I lived with my gf because some nights she didn’t let me have sex with her, maybe just start being freaky if you realize what he’s doing next time
Why should he have to explain himself? It’s his body — his choice. I honestly don’t see the problem. It doesn’t impact you. In any way. In fact it looks like if you see masturbation as a bad thing. Why?
you shouldnt be be included in ANY sexual activities you’re not interested in (even via proximity) REGARDLESS of your relationship to the person. that’s how basic consent works.
if he is awake and doing this that’s messed up and a huge violation of boundaries esp if you’ve already asked him not to. masturbation is natural.- but making your partner hang out w you while
you masturbate or sneakily masturbating after they told you they are uncomfortable being involved is gross and disrespectful. it’s not hard to do it in the other room or ask for personal time like an adult.
tell that guy to sleep on the couch or go to a doctor to figure it out. you have no obligation in any relationship to be involved in someone’s masturbatory practices after you’ve said no.
hopefully he is truly sleeping but i tend to trust my gut…i’m sorry OP:(
if you truly believe hes sleeping i’d do more research on that kinda behavior to make sure it’s accurate-even then he still is responsible for taking precautions to keep himself from behaving inappropriately towards non consenting others.
Not sure why you care? He isn’t doing anything to you and doesn’t seem like you care to join in.
Honestly I think its normal. Most men are freaks
I’m old. I am interested what the prevailing opinion will be. All I know is, she has expressed to him her distaste for this behavior and despite this he proceeded yet again.
Questions, whose place? Who pays rent? You live together? How long?