Cheating on your SO is such a hassle

r/

Yes right there, cheating is such a hassle full of stress and incovenience that keeps me wondering why many people still cheat with their partner?

First, you need to find someone who attracted to you, then you need to hide your romantic chat with that affair of yours to your partner every time with risk of being found , or you need to buy a new phone that cant be known by your partner.

Just by thinking of step two already killa my motivation to cheat. Not only that you need to juggle your time with your affair and your SO , and then there will be time where conflicting schedules occur so you need to think hard how to make an excuse.

It is so confusing that this is not an popular opinion looking by how many people cheat with their partner on social media, even in our daily connections like our family and friends. It feels people like to trade their peace of mind for short excitement

Comments

  1. AutoModerator Avatar

    Please remember what subreddit you are in, this is unpopular opinion. We want civil and unpopular takes and discussion. Any uncivil and ToS violating comments will be removed and subject to a ban. Have a nice day!

    I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

  2. OkWeek3052 Avatar

    It’s dumb because it’s WAY easier to just be honest and break up with the person.

  3. superjoe8293 Avatar

    Seriously. Cheating takes so much time and work and all it results in is making you a piece of shit.

  4. Any-Sea264 Avatar

    This opinion isn’t so unpopular. Most of us can agree it’s not convenient, and this makes it hurts more when someone goes out of their way to cheat

  5. SierraGrove_ Avatar

    What’s extra wild to me is the idea of the inconvenience of it all being the motivation to not cheat and not just, idk, being an honest and faithful person who doesn’t want to hurt someone you love.

    I’ve never had any desire to cheat on my partner. Not for lack of opportunity or complexity of the act, but because I’m not a piece of shit.

  6. -Revolution- Avatar

    I’m more worried about your reasoning about the fact why you wouldn’t cheat, honestly. It sounds very selfish.

    To me it’s simple, cheating is morally wrong to me. That’s why I don’t cheat. The thought that it’s a hassle has never crossed my mind.

    My opinion is still popular, despite you seeing other stuff on social media about people cheating. That’s just the loud people you hear. However, your reasoning behind that cheating is a hassle, that really sounds unpopular indeed.

  7. Dark--princess420 Avatar

    Finding someone for me to cheat with is the easiest part. the hiding, the lies, the effort, the time, the fakery and guilt are the things that cause the hassle.

  8. nomshire Avatar

    Tbh, i know some people who does this, What I found is that they kind of enjoy this stress and doing things hidden. Basically it’s a kick for them.

    Fun part is if they cheat with one person, they likely to cheat with multiple people as well. Its never One person

  9. BrightGuyEli Avatar

    No fr. It’s hard for me to please/maintain a relationship with one person nonetheless multiple. I’ve barely got enough energy for me. Lol

  10. stargazer_w Avatar
    1. Start relationship
    2. Cheat out of momentary lapse of judgement
    3. Haphazardly cover it up to avoid dealing with losing your partner/current life
    4. Get caught later when you thought you got away with it
    5. Repeat
  11. lluewhyn Avatar

    This is something that’s always been strange to me. Beyond the morality of the issue, it just seems like so much WORK to have an affair. More work than even just splitting up with your partner.

  12. kbabble21 Avatar

    Some people find the hassle exciting. They’re sexually excited at the thought of cheating. It’s naughty it’s thrilling. They’re being so naughty. It gets them off. So the hassle for many cheating people is the fun. I don’t understand it but I’ve literally been told this by a cheater.

  13. Ok_Job_9417 Avatar

    Cheating is wrong but how “easy” it is is going to depend on the situation. One night stands vs a continuous person. Someone who travels for work vs works typical 9-5.

  14. JPDG Avatar

    I tell my wife often that caring for one woman is more than enough for me! 😁

  15. Fun_Butterscotch3303 Avatar

    That’s why it’s best to just be honest and stop waisting somebody goddamn time geesh

  16. LeadershipCold4008 Avatar

    Not really. Women just open their legs and a dude will dive for it. Men actually have to work for it.

  17. blueretrobot Avatar

    Bold of you to assume cheaters think logically.

  18. Zaphod424 Avatar

    Very few people actually go out of their way looking to cheat, they just happen to meet someone with mutual attraction, and it starts from there, so that eliminates the first thing of finding someone.

    Then for the hiding it, juggling time etc, it’s as with any lie. At first it’s pretty easy to hide something, but as your lies get more complex, and you need more and more different alibis and covers, it gets more and more difficult to maintain the facade, but at that point you’ve already gone down that path so you have no choice but to keep going or you’ll be found out

  19. Holdmywhiskeyhun Avatar

    Yeah I never got that. I takes so much time and effort to keep it hidden. On top of the fact you never know what the affair partner would say. I’ll admit I’ve thought of it, we all have, but I never acted on it. I’m too lazy for that shit

  20. LxycD Avatar

    There are people who only “date” people in relationships… it’s an attention thing and narcissistic behavior

  21. Reddit_Shmeddit_905 Avatar

    I think there are some people who love the drama of it. Makes their life more interesting maybe? I don’t know, just something I’ve observed (in addition to all the other reasons people cheat).

  22. QuippinDales Avatar

    I’ve always said this! Like…how do people even pull it off these days? Your spouse can just be like “FaceTime me real quick”. Affair over.

  23. parkerjpsax Avatar

    I’d hope this isn’t unpopular but also being a hassle is not really the best reason not to cheat. The fact that it’s a shitty thing to do should be deterrent enough.

  24. dotn-t Avatar

    break up is healthy when things aren’t working out well. But some people aren’t sane enough to realize this. They think that they would hurt their SO, how crazy? Like it wouldn’t hurt them when they find out they were cheated on. But then again, sometimes it is rooted in their upbringing and culture.. women rather stay with cheating husband then get divorced, so the husband feels more freedom to get both the wife and the mistress. It becomes an exciting experience rather than a stressful one.

  25. Top_Positive526 Avatar

    There’s no point to it. Monogamy is the safest form of living within a family.

  26. Still_Mud_489 Avatar

    I think that hassle is what makes it appealing. The thrill of the stress

  27. CliffGif Avatar

    I have had times when I considered cheating and what you lay out here definitely made it practically easier to do the ethical thing.

  28. MintyPastures Avatar

    I mean, I wouldnt put up with cheating anyway but like…

    Where do people find time? At what point in time would my husband even have time to cheat? When would I even have time? We have jobs. Most people have jobs. We have house stuff to do. We have a child and animals. What the actual heck? How do people not know immediately? I would know if my husband just randomly disappeared for more than a few hours.

  29. Square-Gap-2427 Avatar

    But it’s so fun

  30. Markebrown93 Avatar

    Isn’t this popular?

  31. ErenKruger711 Avatar

    I think finding someone you are attracted to is a part that leads to cheating.

    I’m not experienced in this but I don’t think cheaters wake up and decide “okay today I’m going to cheat”. And even if they do, then I think they would have other motives and maybe not look for attraction

  32. cragglerock93 Avatar

    Such a kerfuffle.

  33. ow3ntrillson Avatar

    Honestly yea, you have to plan around so many life hurdles to cheat and especially continue cheating.

  34. 632nofuture Avatar

    right? i dont even find the falling in and out of love part so bad, or even the actual act itself if it happens spontaneously (although if you’re a beast without any self-control I wouldn’t want to spend my life wiht you anyway). I just think you at least should have the spine to tell it. (Things can be forgiven, in my eyes at least, but hoesty is the main thing. I think not being honest must be the biggest hassle about it,-the keeping secrets, the guilt, the scheming, and it’s so unnecessary imo.)

    If someone is weak willed, or selfish with fucked up moral compass, or doesnt love me anymore/loves someone else, and they end up acting on it, They can’t help that, – I can’t change that/them. Might be sad, might be a reason to break up, but at least be honest so you can communicate and decide how to proceed.

    Being in a relationship shouldn’t feel like a restriction or a burden, it should be a team. I wonder why cheaters are so afraid to tell or to lose their partner, in many cases both would be better off split up. One loses the cheating partner, the other can be free to go about their affairs without all the secrecy. Or if you really want the relationship still, fight for it, first step is be honest.

  35. Lonely-Wafer-9664 Avatar

    I agree. I’ve said that my whole long life. Why bother? And if you don’t want be there, GTFO.

  36. Warm_Suggestion_431 Avatar

    As a man, the most attractive time in a man’s life is when he is in a relationship. So finding a partner is extremely easy. It is the hiding part that makes it tough.

  37. MrCrackers122 Avatar

    It doesn’t make any sense. Let’s be real. Most people cheat because they are not fulfilled sexually or not feeling heard. If you don’t feel heard or sexually fulfilled then talk to the person and if they don’t care or can’t meet your needs and it’s that important then leave. The problem…. Is the secrecy is usually rooted in the selfish act to want to have someone waiting around and to fall back on while they get their needs met elsewhere. It’s pure selfishness.

  38. _kiss_my_grits_ Avatar

    This is a very popular opinion…

  39. ofthenightfall Avatar

    My boyfriend and I are in an open relationship so I have full permission to sleep with someone else and I still can’t be bothered to do it. It’s too much effort, I can’t imagine having to make up LIES to cover it up too. Cheating is such loser behavior because it shows they have nothing else going for them, like who else has the time for that shit?

  40. Hegemonic_Smegma Avatar

    As long as you still care whether your partner finds out, you’ll do what is required to avoid being caught. Once you couldn’t care less whether your partner finds out, that’s when you’ll slip up.

  41. greenyoke Avatar

    Which is mainly the reason i dont do it… i still believe real monogamous relationships can exist, but its rare to find an honest one.

  42. -sallysomeone- Avatar

    This is advertising for a one night stand lol.

    But agreed, cheating isn’t worth the hassle. Don’t forget to add in dealing with the guilt after. Guilt makes life really stressful!

  43. Paulymcnasty Avatar

    Agreed.

    Also…

    Jesus christ, just go masturbate. You’ll have post nut clarity, and you won’t be divorced afterward.

  44. BoomBoomLaRouge Avatar

    If you’re motivated and sensible, and the person you cheat with is the same, it’s wonderful. However, finding both is rare and requires both discipline and energy, the latter of which decreases over time, as does motivation. The older you get, the fewer reasons there are to cheat, which leaves more energy to put into your true relationship.

    Been there.

  45. HauntedPickleJar Avatar

    Who even has the time, much less the energy these days?! Between work, chores, errands, hobbies etc at the end of the day I just want to come home, get in my jammies and watch something silly with my husband and our two cats. Trying to cram an affair in there sounds exhausting.

  46. thc1121 Avatar

    my husband cant believe some people have a whole other second secret family, says how does someone even have the time to juggle that

  47. SpareUnit9194 Avatar

    The repeated, regular cheaters I know (guys at various workplaces over the years) were/are very proudly married with young kids.  Wives snowed under with pregnancies/ young children etc. No chance in hell they wanted to leave their families, they just wanted both.

    Some guys even shared in rent of an apartment that they all took for different lunchbreaks & night meetings.

    They had jobs that had them driving around so cheating just a perk. Dating apps has made cheating explode IMHO.

    So of course some ppl intend to cheat…it’s a way of life for them.

  48. These-Courage-4594 Avatar

    maaaan listen the amount of people that do this shit on deployment is absolutely absurd.

  49. waconaty4eva Avatar

    I work in nightlife. Ive recently come to realize that most people have no idea how cheating actually works.

  50. Megafayce Avatar

    The logistics are awful. The intention makes you a bit of a scumbag, which you’ll never admit to yourself and the principle is even worse again. And for what? To get your dick wet in a different hole.

  51. Lomofre88 Avatar

    I think a high percentage of cheaters do it to find a replacement before they break up with their partners, an exit strategy. They are so insecure they dare not be single and being confronted with themselves.

  52. glittercritterr Avatar

    I think they like the drama of it, I don’t understand it but some people really do thrive on chaos. I think when these kinds of people end up with a good partner who doesn’t cause any trouble they get bored and have to fuck shit up for their own entertainment basically

  53. jeffweet Avatar

    I’m not a cheater so this is just supposition.

    But I’m pretty sure people that cheat don’t give a shit about the hassle.

  54. Confidenceisbetter Avatar

    I don’t want to cheat but if I did it would be very easy. I’m in a long distance relationship, there is zero hiding necessary, i could just make a dating app account right now and find someone to hook up with tonight if i wanted to.

  55. IntentionalUndersite Avatar

    Yea, agreed. I’ve never cheated on any previous partner and never will in the future. I’ve been cheated on once and that shit sucks, a lot. But just the idea of having to constantly hide things, etc, seems so exhausting.

  56. PaigeMarieSara Avatar

    I doubt most people who cheat have to find someone to cheat with. Usually it’s someone they already know or have at least met. Who wakes up in the morning looking for some random person to cheat with?

  57. fastpixels Avatar

    I repeatedly walk myself through the impossible logistics of trying to cheat on my SO, so that it’s burned into the logical part of my brain. Just in case for some reason the moral part takes a day off.

  58. Appropriate-Place728 Avatar

    Some people cheat simply for the thrill of getting caught.

  59. Baconbitzki Avatar

    The saddest thing about betrayal is that it never comes from your enemies.

  60. MotherSithis Avatar

    It’s not seen as a hassle to cheaters.

    Risk/Reward center in brain go brrrr

  61. Smooth-Atmosphere657 Avatar

    I agree. The maintaining two relationships at once, trying to hide it etc. Like at that point just leave your partner, it’s less work

  62. Beautiful_Rub5735 Avatar

    I honestly could never because I’m way too lazy to even lie 😭

  63. whowhatcat25 Avatar

    Not even remotely speaking for myself, but I do know of people who get off on the “gameplay”

  64. Sonseeahrai Avatar

    Because some people dig the thrill of doing it. Not of fucking the next person, but of cheating. What you call an inconvenience is exactly what turns them on.

  65. swishkabobbin Avatar

    Its really not very hard

  66. dankp3ngu1n69 Avatar

    It’s pretty much something that only happens if it happens

    I also find cheating happens more easily when women are aggressive

    I had an X that broke up with me. Started dating another guy in the friend group a few months later and wouldn’t did you believe she had a great habit of sliding into random guys DMS asking to hang out and well you can imagine where things would go

    “Im on a break its ok” was her famous line.

    And her boyfriend at the time was kind of crazy so you just kind of went with it lol

  67. Most-Ad4680 Avatar

    Honestly I would be super easy to cheat on. I don’t look through phones, if my partner says they’re going out I don’t really ask questions