I’m in my mid-30s and my work has announced that layoffs are coming. Have been very dedicated to my career for the last 10 years at the same company. My life situation – taking care of my elderly parents – has sent me down a path of focusing on caregiving and my job, with no time to have children or hobbies. Now that I’m worried I may lose my job, I am feeling so anxious and so lost. I have a wonderful, supportive partner, who has his own hobbies and career. I really enjoy working, but having to start over at a new company is terrifying and seems like so much more work…I’ll have even less time to myself. My aging mother is in poor health and will probably pass in the next year, too. Everything seems to be falling apart and I feel like I’m losing myself in the process. Maybe I need career to take a back seat. Maybe this is a sign. Has anyone been in a similar position where your job was who you were, and then suddenly not?
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This is my life. No advice. Just that I understand
try an intro to pole dance class. changed my whole entire life at 29/30.
i know this is scary! i just got laid off (for the 2nd time in 3 years) and all i have to say is you need to live your life for yourself, not a company or a job. if you do get laid off, spent some time focusing on yourself and figuring out what YOU love to do.
if it’s your current job, is there a way you can do that but in a self-employed or independent contractor way, so you make the profits from your work instead of making them for a company and taking a fraction of that as a salary?
i’m childfree so not everyone feels the same way but not having kids is SUCH a blessing. you are truly uninhibited, not tied down anywhere by needing to provide for your kids, school districts, babysitters etc. do you like where you are? maybe it’s time to move! time to try something totally new!
you can’t live your life in search of fulfilling arbitrary, capitalistic, patriarchal social structures. figure out what YOU want to do with your life, and do it. sending love!
This is slightly my life with the possible layoffs. My parents are still in ok health and I’m not a caretaker. I don’t have a relationship or kids. But I do have chronic conditions so if I lose my job I’ll be in of a bit financial pickle.
I’ve been overwhelmed and have mistakenly put too much time into my career rather than friends or hobbies which has made me feel a bit shallow. Anywho, this time will end and you’ll be seeing yourself at a less stressful job in the future with more fulfillment. I can assure you that.
Life will continue to ebb and flow.
Regardless of what happens at work, you need to stop making caregiving your only activity. My step-mom did that. She spent 20 years all in taking care of first both parents and then just her mom. Now they’re both dead, and she has absolutely nothing. All her friends have distanced themselves bc she was never available. She has been out of all of her hobbies and interests so long that she would basically be starting over and doesn’t want to. Her parents stole her adult life. They loved her. She loved them. I’m sure they didn’t mean to do that. But they did. And it wasn’t fair to her. Don’t make the same mistake. You will never get these years back.
There are seasons to life and this one will pass too. Is it possible to have an outside caregiver to help? Do you need to talk to a therapist regarding these feelings of anxiety or feeling lost? Just be kind to yourself and know it will be a journey. You may not figure it out right away (and that’s ok), you’ll get there.
I was a full time caregiver for a parent in my 20s. It completely de-railed my career as I was just start my careee and then out of the workforce for 3 years. I’ll always have more time for another job. I won’t always have more time to spend with family. If you have the financial means to spend some quality time with you mom if you get laid off, I would consider doing that. Keep in contact with people in your industry while you aren’t working so it’s easier to get back into the workforce after. I didn’t do this and had to start over completely, never got back into the same industry, and never managed to get the same salary.
I didn’t have a partner when I was a caregiver so I did all the house stuff on my own for my parents’ household and my place. I started my own business and worked part time. Plus I had hobbies. I’ve always found a way to have hobbies that I enjoy that are cheap. I mention this in case you get laid off. You don’t have to spend a lot of money to have a hobby or three.