My (M) coworker (F) had suddenly started giving me the cold shoulder out of nowhere a few days ago.
So about a month ago my coworker approached me (I’m the quiet guy at work and don’t initiate conversation) and we have been talking ever since. She even started inviting me to sit next to her during work, most of our talk would revolve around work but I would sometimes ask her about things like her hobbies and stuff.
But then suddenly in the middle of the shift a few days she started giving me the cold shoulder, when I asked her a few work related questions she just said she didn’t know coldly and stopped even making eye contact.
The next day she did not greet me and even gave me a weird side eye look, I went and said hi and she just gave me a dead hi back. At first I thought maybe she was going through something but she has been interacting with others just fine so I have no idea.
I’ve just started ignoring her back at this point because I’ve only been talking to her for a month and honestly it is just kind of weird but I am still curious as to why this might have happened. Did I ask her too many questions or something? I do have aspergers so perhaps there was some sort of miscommunication somewhere?
Regardless, at this point I’m thinking I should just let it be, but would that be the best way to go about this or should I perhaps try talking to her?
Comments
Oh maybe one of your questions offended her? You could tell her something like “is everything ok? I have Asperger’s so I hope I didn’t unintentionally bother you on accident.” Or just say nothing and what you’re doing is fine. I was just giving another option if you did want to ask something.
If she is giving you a cold a shoulder, the best thing to is let it go and avoid talking to her if you can….
Thisnis a work mate not a friend and she’s not obligated to be a friend nor are you
It could be lots of reasons why she stopped talking to you and tbh it not really your place to find our why … as you work together and aren’t actually friends
Another issue is, if you ask her why or try hard to be her friend she can say your harassing her at work
Best advice is it’s not a relationship, she gives u a cold shoulder…. give it back
Or you could just say did I do something to upset you?
You didn’t pounce when she gave you the chance dude.
I had a girl at work try to get all my attention. We even met for a dog walk. I like to sit alone at lunch so when I didn’t sit with her she got so angry she never spoke to me again. She felt scorned.
Did you talk about your friendship with her anything like that with coworkers when she wasn’t around?
Workplaces are little gossip havens.
If you made any kind of remark about her to a coworker, like I think she likes me or anything in general that could be viewed as negative, it likely found its way back to her, thus the cold shoulder.
Have a conversation with her and just ask. Something like “hey look I’m worried I may have said or done something that bothered you without realizing. Can we talk about it?”
And this is why you only treat coworkers like coworkers.
Match their energy…
You probably missed some signals or she’s playing hard to get
This sounds like my marriage. Carry on!
This sounds like my marriage. Carry on!
it’s a job, just keep it professional. if she acts out of line then just report her, other then that don’t start anything
It wasn’t you, Pal. Some other person noticed you two becoming friends and they said something to her about it. Something that made her suddenly not want others to think any way about the two of you. She’s clearly not mature enough to deal with it.
Pity, too, because one can never have too many friends – even among colleagues.
Maybe a question you asked lol. Don’t think about it much. I’m also am aspie lol so I get you. I sometimes
Over step people comfort zone. Personally I’m a bit too open when I feel close to someone and I know in my case people feel weirded out about it
She could have been hinting to you that she was interested and instead of showing interest back you… talk about work and shit. She probably got fed up and stopped trying
Either that or you possibly insulted her without realizing it
Let it go. Life was so much easier and less confusing when you didn’t talk to her 😆
One of the most difficult things to master as you get older is not allowing simple things like this to eat you up. It’s very easy to think about the why all day, but the best course is to either acknowledge the strong signs and commpletely move on like it isn’t bothering you.
If you really must say something “Hey is everything okay, you seem off?”
If she still gives you nothing then resort back to advice in paragraph 1. She’s giving you zero thought and if you keep giving her attention you’re just going to come off clingy and insecure.
People suck. Life is hard. Gotta build a thick skin so to speak.
I’d leave her alone. No point in asking why or what happened.
Best guess is she was somewhat interested in you and wanted you to ask her out, you didn’t act soon enough and she felt spurned.
Or…
You said or did something you don’t think was important enough to mention or remember and it turned her off.
But either way, leave her alone