My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 months dating in a larger US city. We spend 3–4 days a week together and have strong emotional and physical chemistry. We were friends for over a year before anything romantic developed.
As the relationship grows, I’m feeling conflicted because he’s not very expressive when it comes to sharing his romantic or emotional thoughts.
We recently made things official, but it doesn’t quite feel like we’ve entered a new chapter—verbal affirmation is important to me as I’ve been cheated on multiple times in the past and will unfortunately always leave me with insecurity.
TL;DR: Dating for four months in a major city, close friends before that, but our different communication styles leave me feeling unsure even though he shows effort in action. How can we meet in the middle to create more balanced emotional communication?
Comments
Emotional communication does not always flow equally in both people, but if there is love, a middle ground can be built with empathy and constant dialogue. Don’t be afraid to express what you need
If you’ve never read Five Love Languages, I highly recommend you and your bf reading and discussing with each other. My best friend went through it recently with his wife and it was a game changer. Sounds like your language is Words of Affirmation, and if your partner doesn’t understand this and express appreciation to you in that way, it will probably not be a great long term relationship.
Your insecurities are yours to manage with therapy. It is unfair to make a partner personally responsible to constantly reassure you that they still like you.