Back in June 2024 I started dating a man. We are both engineers. He’s never been married and doesn’t have kids. I am divorced with 2 boys. Everything seemed fine. We would go on dates and enjoy each others company. About 2 months in we finally did the deed. Right after he asked me to be exclusive and said don’t go cheating on me. During the time of our dating he would say things like “ are you sure you like me”. He would say negative things about himself like girls don’t really like me they try to use me. He also said single moms are users. ( I’m a single mom). Or he would say it’s so hard for me to find a girl that I’m attracted to and that we flow mentally.
He doesn’t have the nicest house. He would say things like girls would come over to my house and realize they didn’t want anything serious with me once they saw it. In this time I would just be a listening ear.
Things were going great until about November when he started getting distant. He started cancelling dates on me. Then all of a sudden cancelled a date on me to go to Puerto Rico. Because of his inconsistencies I broke it off. He seemed like he really didn’t care and I knew that breaking it off with him was the right thing to do.
He came back from pr about a month and a half later saying he misses me.
At this time he also started working on the same job site as I do. He kept in contact with me. I told him we could be friends but I wasn’t getting back with him.
He then later confessed that he got laid off and wasn’t in the right mind set and that’s why he went to pr.
He would randomly take me out to lunch and dinner. He would ask me if I could get back in a relationship with him and see me outside of work. And for 6 months I told him no. And I rejected him.
Then he stopped by my office out of the blue. I was shocked. At the time I was ignoring him and even stopped going to lunch because mentally I had moved on. Him stopping by my office made me think he must really like me so I gave him a second chance.
We started dating again but this time I could tell something was different. But he would say things like you didn’t think you were gonna end up with a guy like me. He even half jokingly said I’d pay you to be my girlfriend and he looked really sad when he said it. Over the course of our relationship he has said he’s not in a good mental space.
Fast forward I was moving out of my apartment and needed help. He said I’m only helping you move because I love you. This was the first time he’s ever said I love you. Then the day before the move he started getting snippy. Even said that’s why I’m a single guy. I couldn’t believe he would say that. I was shocked.
The next day after the move i broke it off and I told him I couldn’t believe he would say something so hurtful. And again he said “ I’m single”. He said he loves me but he’s not in love with me. And that was such a blow to the heart.
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TL;DR:Did he ever love me me and that’s the truth or is he hurt because I rejected him so many times