Considering abortion due to severe pregnancy sickness

r/

I am 12 weeks pregnant with a child I wanted to have. I suffer from such bad pregnancy sickness (hyperemesis gravidarum) that I consider an abortion. I have barely eaten in 1 week, throw everything I eat up, lost 4 kilos already, unbearable nausea. If I don’t get help soon I will abort. My life was good prior to pregnancy, now it’s a living nightmare. I fear it will cause issues with my mental health even when over (anxiety already starts showing up).

I wish I never got pregnant.

Comments

  1. Intelligent-Judge908 Avatar

    I felt exactly the same with HG. It is truly horrendous. I was hospitalised at 8 weeks pregnant and honestly didn’t know how I could continue.

    I was put on cyclizine, it didn’t work. Then I was put on Ondansetron and it was a game changer. I still had some nausea but I could actually stomach some food and cold drinks.

    Have you had any input from a healthcare provider?

  2. heyuiuitsme Avatar

    Ugh, I had that when I was pregnant with my 3rd child .. so awful.. it goes away immediately after you’re no longer pregnant.. I gained more weight the month after I had the baby than the whole pregnancy

    I did lose weight during..

  3. nerdixcia Avatar

    Have you talked to an obgyn? And have you talked to a psychiatrist? A medical team could probably prescribe you anti nausea medicine as well as anti anxiety meds that won’t harm the baby. Im all for pro choice so at the end of the day it’s your choice to do what you think is best! But you said you wanted a child, so before doing anything I’d look into the alternative options like medication

  4. VejuRoze Avatar

    Go to your doctor, you might need hospitalisation

  5. Quail-New Avatar

    I had HG also and it felt like or death at certain points so I totally understand how you feel. What country are you in? I was given lots of medication to help, it didn’t stop it but it did decrease enough that I could live. Zofran dissolves when it hits your tongue, I also had promethazine suppositories that I inserted vaginally and some other medication that I can’t think of right now. They also have Zofran pumps that work like insulin pumps and continuously give you medicine. I was still hospitalized a few times after and was vomiting during labor, but this stuff saved my life. Please mention these things if your provider hasn’t already. Not helpful but I think I survived on Sonic Slushies throughout my pregnancy, easy to puke up and cold stuff made my throat feel better. I don’t blame you for thinking about terminating, it really is that serious. Solidarity sister ❤️

  6. uwgal Avatar

    Do you live in Canada? There is a drug that’s legal here that will help you.

  7. samantri Avatar

    There are also side effects to abortion, such as

    Incomplete abortion (infections,
    hemorrhaging)

    Ectopic pregnancy misdiagnosis

    Long-term fertility problems

    Death (11% of abortions end in death of the mother)

    Depression, grief, suicidal thoughts

    And always, the loss of a child

    I don’t know if that’s actually what you want to do. Please educate yourself on the reality of abortion before going through with it. You deserve to be fully informed. Abortion centers purposely do not inform you about the cons or the choice to keep your baby. Crisis pregnancy centers and plenty of online sources can offer you the truth of the procedure as well as aide during and after pregnancy for you and baby. I wish you all the best and I pray you find a healthy solution!

  8. Nikkisfirstthrowaway Avatar

    Valid. Hospitals and Gynos can often help with HG, but it is a nightmare. In your shoes I’d honestly abort and try again after a while. But it’s no easy decision. Do you have a support system around?

  9. luvininthesummertime Avatar

    I understand the struggle the first trimester was awful for me ( main reason why I think I’m good with only one kid haha ) but I was prescribed promethazine and it helped so much. Also another thing my ob told me was to never go without a small snack, I would throw up EVERYTHING, I stuck to cucumbers with lime and popsicles, etc. light cold snacks helped, if I let myself go two hours or so with no snack I would get insanely nauseous. After 14 weeks I was able to eat more without gagging at smell, pregnancy is hard on a momma. I mean it’s taking everything from you to continue growing but talk to your OB and see what she recommends, much love to you OP! You got this!

  10. blackivie Avatar

    If you want the child, talk to an OBGYM before considering abortion. Of course, ultimately it’s your choice but there are ways to treat this. Either way, i hope you’re supported!!

  11. Acceptable_Cover_637 Avatar

    Valid. Very valid.

  12. HolidayAside Avatar

    Hi, sorry to hear you’re suffering. You don’t need permission but you have it. Terminate the pregnancy if you’re unwell, let alone if it’s just what you want to do. Sending a big hug, be kind to yourself.

  13. psycho-wonder-egg Avatar

    I’m so sorry. I feel for you so much. For what it’s worth, mandarins/clementines – the smell, the taste – gave me some mild relief from nausea. Better than nothing and I haven’t heard people suggesting that in general (so maybe just me!) I would practically inhale the peels/zest. Of course ginger is another. Hang in there and def ask ur ob/gyn.

  14. youremylobster1017 Avatar

    I also had HG (twice!!) so I feel your pain and misery. Nobody who hasn’t gone through it truly understands how awful it really is, they’re just like “oh you threw up a lot, that sucks”. No like you have no idea how unbearably miserable it was!! I was taking zofran and reglan and Pepcid all together and still couldn’t keep anything down for days at a time.

    So I agree with other people here to definitely ask for nausea meds, but that’s not a guarantee either. If you’re already this bad, (from my understanding) the medicine doesn’t properly get absorbed into your body when you take it orally. So I only found relief once I started on the zofran pump, which is pumped directly into your subcutaneous tissue. Once I started the pump, I was almost instantly able to eat again (very small amounts of very bland food at first) and would only throw up once or twice a day instead of 10-15 times. I stayed on the pump for about 6 weeks and decided I was ready to wean once I was 16 weeks along. I still had some nausea but it was manageable at that point. By 18-20 weeks the nausea was gone.

    On top of asking for medication, the other advice I’d give is to tell yourself that every day you survive, you’re one day closer to being past the sickness. One day closer to it being over. One day closer to meeting this baby. You’re already 12 weeks, chances are you’ll feel relief by 16 weeks. Sleep as much as possible, ask your OB for IV fluids (mine would give them for free; you definitely need fluids after all the vomiting), ask to try different nausea meds, and just keep telling yourself that every day is one day closer.

    Also I recommend joining the r/hyperemesisgravidarum subreddit for support, it helps to not feel so alone in this.

  15. Baesicallybasic Avatar

    I’m a psychiatric nurse practitioner and I had the hardest first 14 weeks, then by week 15 to the day it was like a light turned on and the nausea was better by 90%. If you’re struggling please talk to your OB and or a psychiatrist!

  16. sleepymelfho Avatar

    My sister and sister in law both had severe HG. I never had morning sickness, so I can’t speak from experience, but seeing how bad they struggled was horrible. I can’t give you advice on ending the pregnancy, but if you really wanted this baby, I feel like you would seriously regret termination. My sister had HG with two pregnancies, my SIL only had it with one, so there’s no guarantee a future pregnancy would be any different.

    I am really sorry you are going through this. I never had morning sickness, but I get severe SPD while pregnant and after my third, I told my husband I can’t physically handle having another pregnancy and he got a vasectomy.

  17. Elizabitch4848 Avatar

    Does your healthcare provider know all of this? Maybe they will want you to go to the hospital for IV meds and medication before your appt.

  18. mamabird228 Avatar

    Im so sorry you’re struggling. Are you in an area with urgent care or ER services? Barely eating and vomiting is a quick way to get very dehydrated. I was hospitalized for fluids and nausea meds several times during my pregnancy. It was so so bad. There are lots of medication options, though. But you may need an IV and fluids to rehydrate yourself first. I’m not sure if waiting til Tuesday is the best idea.

  19. chicagoturkergirl Avatar

    My friend had this and it was an absolute nightmare – totally understand you feeling that way. But since it’s a wanted pregnancy I would consult with a doctor before taking that step.

  20. annamaria_aurora Avatar

    This unfortunately happens with HG when it’s severe and/or under or unmanaged. I had HG with my last pregnancy, which was twins. Bring someone with you to your appointment to advocate for you. There ARE medications to help you if that is what you want.
    Personally, I did a combination of zofran, phenergan (promethazine), and scopolamine patches behind my ears which you rotate and change every 3 days for my entire pregnancy. It made it bearable.
    There are more aggressive options others have mentioned like the zofran pump if those do not work.
    At this point you say you can’t keep anything down. Are you able to keep water down? If not, go ahead to emergency care. You need at least an IV fluids and they can give you some antiemetics.
    The thing with pregnancy is that baby acts as a… parasite. I say that with love, only because they take whatever nutrients they need from the host (mom). So, it’s really important that you’re managing your care as best as you can with your Dr.
    wishing you the best 💜

  21. missannthrope1 Avatar

    You need to work closely with your doctor. Chances are the symptoms will pass. The next pregnancy not going to be any better.

    There is a morning sickness institute in Boston that found three foods that women with even the worst morning sickness can keep down: watermelon, grapes, and lemonade.

    And smelling a cut lemon is supposed to help.

  22. BugGlad5248 Avatar

    Oh no I know it’s contraversial but some doctors will recommend weed so you could talk to your Dr about that if you’re in a legal state. Also it usually subsides at 15 weeks unless you have a bad case of it 🙁 sounds truely horrible the first trimester is hell

  23. Boobzillagirl Avatar

    please no, exhaust all the alternatives first

  24. WiTch_POlluTION53 Avatar

    Marijuana is the only thing that helped my friends when she had that

  25. alldemboats Avatar

    my mom is a dietitian who works work formula fed patients. she has a number of patients who have HG and are fed via a nose tube or IV feedings. please advocate for yourself at your OB appointment! if you want to keep the pregnancy and stay healthy, there are ways to make that happen!

  26. the_taco_belle Avatar

    I get it. I ended up in kidney failure and with a feeding tube. It was awful 🙁 whatever you decide, sending you love ❤️

  27. rockinsocks8 Avatar

    I was on a zofran pump. Game changer.

  28. Significant_Fun3750 Avatar

    I genuinely don’t want to say this in an attack way. But if you can’t handle the first part of this. It’s a good chance you won’t be able to handle the kid at certain points either.
    I was as sick as you are with my second. And hospitalized. I understand, it’s horrific. The life of that child is far more valuable. And it will pass.

  29. seahorseescape Avatar

    I felt the exact same way with my last pregnancy. I don’t have any great advise but I did take zofran which helped. Other then that I just suffered through it and kept reminding myself I wanted the baby and they get to live a whole life and this is only 9 months of mine. Hang in there

  30. ProperFart Avatar

    I’ve been there. I chose to continue my pregnancy and was able to get infusions 3x a week. IV fluids, nutrition, and medication made things a bit more tolerable.

  31. therog08 Avatar

    My mom debated that. She was single with a child already and was extremely sick. She decided against it last minute. That was 47 years ago. There are meds out there to help. I’m glad she changed her mind and I know she’s glad too.

  32. hushdarlin Avatar

    i’m sorry you’re going through this. 💔 i went through the same thing, and i wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. zofran isn’t guaranteed to help, but it really helped me. i could finally eat! and once i got to my second trimester, i felt like a whole new person. please talk to your doctor if you haven’t already!

  33. JennieFairplay Avatar

    There is help for HG. Talk to your doctor and s(he) can set you with a medication regime that should really help. You might also need some inpatient care with hydration and antiemetics to get you back on your feet. It would be a shame to lose a pregnancy that was desired for HG if you haven’t been given the tools to fight the effects.

    Good luck to you and I hope you get some relief soon.

  34. Content-Resource8741 Avatar

    It’s been 22 years since I suffered through my pregnancy with HG, I absolutely know how miserable you are. Your body is doing something incredibly hard under the worst possible circumstances. It takes a toll, mentally and physically. For me, zofran and phenergan was a godsend. Did it eliminate the sickness entirely? No. But, after about month 6-7 things calmed down dramatically. The first 3 months were the worst and 4-5 became manageable with the nausea meds.

    You can do this. It will get better. Once your beautiful baby arrives, you’ll (mostly) forget about the struggle. Talk to your obgyn and insist on medication.

  35. Catrautm Avatar

    I was nonstop vomiting for weeks with kid daughter. I can’t remember the name of the prescription medication I took but it helped me so much. Before I was able to get that prediction I did take a vitamin b complex and unisom. It stopped the vomiting, though I was still extremely nauseous and ended up with a prescription. At about 20 weeks it stopped and I no longer needed the medicine.

    It gets better!

  36. NothingAndNow111 Avatar

    If you’re not already on ondansetron/granisetron and metoclopramide, demand them.

  37. kittenchrissy001 Avatar

    I definitely felt that way some moments and I was actually put on house restrictions, I had to work from home. I couldn’t lift over 5 lbs. I was on IVs daily. I can say I persevered though and my 2 yr old is worth EVERYTHING I went through and if I could go back in time and do it again I would. Now I did have it with both my boys and my second boy was the one I was on IVs for the 1st Zofran was able to control it a little bit. I did “get fixed” after my 2 year old was born so that I didn’t go through it again.

  38. Greeneyesdontlie85 Avatar

    I have had HG and I honestly don’t blame you at all I’m just sorry you are going thru this- the only thing that kind of helped me was a zofran pump but causes constipation and migraines and just being in the dark- see if you can see a high risk team STAT if I can support you any way my DMs are open

  39. Lazy-Interaction7929 Avatar

    My mom was like this. Hospitalized a lot due to HG. She found a doctor who made a medication for her at the time. She went on to have 3 kids.

    I’ve had a rough pregnancy. And Zofran has been a lifesaver.

  40. Dry-Membership5575 Avatar

    Consult with your doctor, there are several medications you can try and other treatments to help with the consequences of HG. But if you feel like it’s too much then you need to put yourself first

  41. Important-Pain-1734 Avatar

    I had HG as well but thankfully it only lasted 3 months. It’s been a long time so the medication may be different but they gave me phenergan suppositories so if I threw up I wasn’t losing the meds. Popsicles were a big help. They help keep you hydrated while not shocking your stomach. Oranges cut up and salted always helped the nausea. 35 years later they still do. I kept saltines and coke near me all the time. I know they tell you to not drink soda now but it was 35 years ago and it helped me keep my weight up a bit.

  42. GidgetCooper Avatar

    I can commiserate. I didn’t have a wanted pregnancy so other side of the coin but did have HG & was hospitalised for a week. I’m particularly child free but the experience was traumatising. I lived off cucumbers & water. Burnt my oesophagus & then tore it.

    I’m so sorry that this experience has been hell for you when a wanted pregnancy should be full of joy. Reaching out is such a good thing. You find community and a village by doing so. Exhaust & hunt down all resources you can. If you plan on more in the future like everyone advises do consult some counselling. Not all pregnancies are like this, this is just a crappy set of cards you were dealt. My thoughts are with you & hope you find comfort however you can.

  43. Agreeable_Rent_9599 Avatar

    Literally felt the same way. I kept my baby and love her to death but refuse to ever get pregnant again. HG was horrific and I refuse to put myself through it again. No judgement here.

  44. Grumpiest_Panda Avatar

    Talk to your obgyn! I had HG and my DR. Gave me meds and it was literally a lifesaver. I lose so much weight it’s scary and unbearable.

  45. Mouseysocks9 Avatar

    Took Zofran with my first. She came back with a birth defect of her kidneys. Just an FYI. It’s on the warning labels. Discuss your risks

  46. FancyPantsMead Avatar

    Oh hunny I feel ya. If I knew how hard my pregnancy was gonna be, I totally see how I’d make that decision.

    Jesus Christ that pregnancy tried to kill me so many times. Including starvation because I had HG like you. Had to get liquid nutrition in an IV 3 times during my pregnancy. It sucks so so so bad.

    If your pregnancy was wanted it makes it a slightly easier choice to tough it out. Take all the facts into consideration.

    I was told I’d never be able to get pregnant. So when I did, despite all the hell, it was worth it for me. Horrid horrid pregnancy, easiest human ever to raise!! Seriously. Crazy how easy every stage of his life has been. He’s 19 now.

    I hope you have supportive people in your life to help you through no matter which way you go. All the good vibes sent your way.

  47. MiaLba Avatar

    I had severe HG with my second pregnancy it was pure hell on earth and I was so close to ending my life over it. Doctors didn’t want to help me except in the ER but couldn’t give me a script of nausea meds. I felt so helpless I had to terminate. Breaks my heart my daughter will never have a sibling because of the hell that is HG.

  48. luvsireland Avatar

    I had my baby twenty five years ago. I was severely nauseous for eight months wishing I could just die. I could barely move, I couldn’t tolerate smells, textures or even patterns in fabrics or carpets. I couldn’t brush my teeth for most of that time and lived on cheese and saltines and ginger ale. It was truly the worst experience I’ve ever lived through… HOWEVER! When that baby starts to move, kick, hiccup… you will be so attached to that baby that all the sickness will be tolerable. Just tell yourself, “ it’s just for a short time. I CAN do this”. Most people get better at the four month mark. The minute you see that baby in your arms will be the most glorious experience of your life. Don’t give up! I give thanks every single day for my wonderfully crazy ass child. You will too.

  49. Abstract_love Avatar

    I was sick the whole way through my first pregnancy, I considered the same thing. I’m glad I stuck it out, because now I have the best 3 year old boy.
    I was sick throughout my first trimester with this pregnancy, and thought I couldn’t go through this again, but luckily the sickness has died down.

  50. crashpilliwinks Avatar

    I felt the same way when I was pregnant and HG. I love my baby girl and I’m glad I stuck it out, but it is truly awful and I don’t blame you at all.
    It does get better. Keep trying medications and different snacks. It won’t go away but it will get better. Also when you are feeling down repeat “this isn’t forever”. It helps.
    I also went to therapy when I was going through this , it helped a ton!

  51. as3289 Avatar

    I’m a nurse in an OBGYN clinic who has helped women through this awful journey you’re going through, while others I’ve held their hands during abortion because they couldn’t go on anymore.
    It’s your choice and you yourself know what you can handle.
    I hope Tuesday they give you all sorts of meds to try. Make sure they’re aware that the severity literally has you considering abortion.