I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a few years on and off. It was pretty toxic for the first 75% of it but now we’re really making an effort to repair our relationship.
I often worry about us. About if I want to be in a relationship or if I’m as sure about him as he is about me. We have an age gap that’s not big but I just feel like that contributes to him being so sure about our relationship. I also have an issue with OCD and commitment. I was a military brat so I pretty much only ever knew people for four years at most. Usually only one or two.
I feel like that especially makes it hard to stick around.
He and I have a great relationship and it feels unfair of me to be so unsure. I also worry if I leave he could be ‘the one that got away.’ I don’t want to waste his time but I also don’t want to waste my 20s feeling unsure and confused.
He’s so supportive and sure. We are best friends. I feel guilty about constantly thinking I’d be better off alone. Especially when he’s done nothing wrong for so long.
I’m so stressed about it and I don’t have time to worry about it since I’m starting as a pre-med student. Advice is greatly appreciated.
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We can’t tell you if you belong together or not. I can tell you that when you meet the right one, you know it. Therapy is usually a good idea to help identify and process your feelings so you at least understand what you are experiencing before making any dramatic decisions.
If your relationship has been toxic for more than 75% I don’t think it sounds like you guys are good for each other.
i always hate when i get advice like this because it’s usually not the ‘fix all’ i want to hear, but the person to share these concerns with would be your boyfriend.
i’d have a genuine sit down with him where you can both talk through your feelings, no arguments or interruptions. he is your support system, but he can only support you if you let him in, & vice versa.