This is a very vague, almost downright meaningless title, but i can’t articulate it any other way.
Every time i go outside i feel nothing, there’s nothing out there. There’s nobody to talk to, there’s nothing to do, alone at least.
I’ve been a shut in my entire life, i never get out much except if i have plans with friends, and i figured out why over the past few months (and somewhat on and off for literally 4 years at this point, and a few times since i was literally 13 or 14) of forcing myself to go on walks every other day. I figured out that it almost feels… empty?
In the extremely rare cases i even talk to a complete stranger its such meaningless chit chat: its not funny, its not interesting, its not thought provoking, its barely pleasant, and its extremely rare for it to even happen.
I never find myself particularly enjoying going outside for no reason or that taking a walk improves my mood.
I honestly can’t even remember many moments from any of the countless times in my life i went outside for it’s own sake. It almost always feels like a useless waste of time, even going to a café isn’t this pleasant experience for me.
To summarize, unless im with friends going outside feels useless, and in a weird way even more isolating and lonely than being online
Comments
Personally I live in an area that is populated with people that just leave their house to do tasks. It’s boring asf. But, I love driving to places not too far away that I know is packed with people. Think parks, cities, walkable towns. And I just people watch. Take in what others are doing. How they interact with others and the environment. Ease drop on people. You have free will. You can use it however you’d like. You can make life entertaining for yourself. Just don’t be a dick lol.