There are casual everyday things, like making sure my nails always “go the right way”, or blowing into my eyes to make sure they were the same level of cold, etc. But then there are these “episodes” which come and go with varying severity.
The other night, I was trying to read a book, but just got so overwhelmed and annoyed by how uneven everything was, I could do nothing but “fix” things and cry for a few hours. I did things like tapping/pulling on the book’s pages until it felt fixed, or having to put down the book over and over again until it hit my legs in evenly distributed ways.
But then there are stretches of days where I pay no mind to most things that could potentially be even to me. It usually never really bothers me too much, but the “episode” from the other night left me thinking that this surely isn’t very normal.
Is this normal, or do I have a few screws loose?
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Sounds like OCD. I have a few particulars I have to go through, as well, and I was diagnosed with it.
Yep. It sounds like you have OCD.
Yes this is actually how my daughter has described her diagnosed ocd. She has to make sure things “match”, for example if she raises one eyebrow she needs to do the other, and things like that.
I get this. My worst one is walking over things – like my foot takes a stamp of the sidewalk crack right where it crossed my foot. I have to keep looking for ways to step on the next crack at exactly the same spot on my other foot or I feel unbalanced. If I go too many steps without fixing it I am sooo bothered.
I have to have all of the doors in the car locked before we can go somewhere, and I’m anal-retentive about reminding everyone about seatbelts.
Alarms have to be set symmetrically i.e., 6:06 7:17, 8:48, 12:21, etc.
If someone sneezes, coughs or even yawns loudly in the car, I have to roll down my window for a few seconds “to let it out”.
If I tie one shoe, I have to re-tie the other shoe, too.
I wash my hands several times every time, til I feel they’re as clean as can be. The bacteria in fecal matter can travel through up to TEN LAYERS of tp, so if i go #2, I wash them several more times than #1.
I got my nose pierced on the right side to balance out the tattoo on my left ankle.
When I go to Half Price Books, or Goodwill, I sometimes get stuck alphabetizing the DVDs.
Yes. I need to leave a building from the same door I entered. I try to retrace the path I took. I don’t like to make loops.
Oh my friend, you probably do have a screw loose and it might be called OCD. What you’re describing is a classic symptom. I’m sorry. I have it too. It makes ordinary activities feel fraught with peril. It sucks. I highly recommend seeking therapy when your circumstances allow. Wishing you the best
I can only make left turns while driving. Right turns drive me into a spiral and I have to evacuate the vehicle and spin in counterclockwise circles for a few minutes until all feels right In The world.
Could be OCD, could be Autism sensory issues.
song – Symmetry by Jane Siberry
r/ocdmemes may interest you
My husband has OCD & often has compulsions like you describe. You might want to see a mental health professional & see if they can help you get a more succinct diagnosis so you can better cope & understand how your thoughts & compulsions work, especially if they’re causing you enough to enough distress to affect your ability to function for extended periods of time
I have ADHD and autism and do things like that. I can also relate to others who have posted on this thread. I’m extremely meticulous and crave order. I’ve heard that ADHD/autism come with “OCD tendencies,” but it’s not the same thing as actually having OCD.
Yes. Can’t clean one ear without cleaning the other. If one hand gets wet, the other must also. Socks must match so the texture is the same.