Like.. I’m not actively seeking out a way to do it. Im not scared of dying, infact, I can’t wait to die.
I’ve been this way as long as I can remember, from a young child, I don’t enjoy living, it’s too difficult, the mental torture is overwhelming sometimes
I just wish something would happen to me like a train hitting me as i drive across the crossing, or an illness and I would have no choice in the matter.
I’ve lived this way for so long, I’ve never experienced what it’s like to actually enjoy living, does anyone live that way?? It’s bizarre to me to think they do.,
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Yes. I also never have enjoyed living. Even as a kid. I feel like I don’t belong or I’m in the wrong time, not supposed to be here. I don’t know how to describe it.
A lot of people do. It’s not uncommon, unfortunately
Same. I’m 34 and have been this way most of my life (at least since around age 10/11). It gets worse at times, like where I’m constantly wishing I would die. And sometimes it’s better, like I don’t want to die but I still don’t fear it, either.
It’s so weird to me how most people want to live, even when things are really hard for them. Like a coworker I had, she had a hard life. She was single, almost elderly, still caring for her adult son who was disabled, and also caring for her very elderly mother with dementia. She would say things like “I’m so grateful god woke me up this morning” like she was genuinely so happy to be alive every day.
I don’t know why I can’t feel that way too. I want to love life too, but I never have and I don’t think I ever will 🙁
Yeah I’m that way, I thought it was from childhood trauma but I think my 6yo son feels the same
Life is always just dull and grey unless I self medicate with something that makes me feel
I think for me it’s an ADHD or autism thing (and my son)
We all feel like that bro. It’s just seeing what you can do in the meantime
“Slow Suicide”
Yes, it’s why I’ve stopped taking my medications in hope of a massive heart attack
How old are you?
I used to be this way. I attempted suicide a couple times. Would cut myself routinely as a teen and into my mind 20s. Was miserable and severely depressed until late 20s. 31 now and still sometimes I struggle with mental health however I can proudly say I no longer am suicidal, I will only very rarely get the intrusive thoughts if I’m going through something triggering but otherwise I almost never have those thoughts anymore. I’m happy to be alive and I love life. I do think death will be a nice relief once it does eventually come, no more stress or anything, but, I certainly don’t wanna die anytime soon cuz I like getting to experience life.
I tell my therapist that I don’t want to kill myself.. but I don’t want to be here anymore. Some days I wish I could disappear
Sounds like you’re experiencing some blend of depression and suicidal ideation. I’ve felt for most of my life. In fact I’d consider it my baseline but may slip in to a deeper depression where I am actually verging suicidal for a few months a year. (save me your reddit cares crap. It doesn’t help and is just annoying)
Take care of yourself and don’t neglect your mental health. Maybe seek therapy because although I can relate to not really feeling happy ever it’s definitely not “normal” and we deserve to feel better.
Yes. It’s less “passive” now then ever, and I’m constantly on the precipice of just doing it myself. Like, why not. The tides will come and go either way. I remember even trying to choke myself as a kid just because. Annoyed wouldn’t be the right word, maybe impatient?
Like, I’ve done my best to appreciate nature and life, done stupid (but interesting?? lol) things, accomplished stuff, fucked up x10^10, traveled, etc. But I’m done with dealing with my own self. I’m tired of living in my brain.
Anyway, sorry, that may have been tmi, all to say: yes lol
“I’m not scared of dying, in fact, I can’t wait to die.” I’ve felt like this since I was 13. I’m not trying to end things, but this is exhausting, and surely whatever is next will be less….this.
As long as I can remember. “Or maybe I’ll just kill myself” is a sentence I say after WAY too many things. My therapist is aware and didn’t try to have me committed.
Doesn’t everybody?
Like, I would never jump in front of a bus, but if a runaway bus was headed for me….I probably wouldn’t jump out of the way either.
That’s normal, right?
I’m kind of the opposite, I enjoy living but all the suffering and hardship makes it hard to keep going. Like same reasons as you but different kinda? It’s hard to explain.
(I’m not actively suicidal rn don’t send any Reddit cares things lmao)
Consistently 🤷♀️🙇♀️
They always ask “ do you have a plan”,.. dude?, I have like 56 plans… just waiting for the stars to align & make it look like an accident…
I’m coming up on 60 and I recently thought this through.
I never hated being alive. It was never so hard that I couldn’t see continuing, but lately I’ve been thinking about it ending and I realized it would be a huge relief.
I don’t want to rush it, but I’m not afraid of it, and I’m not running from it. I feel like I’ll be just fine with it when it happens.
Been living that feeling since teenage years. Especially now that I’m old, I’ve had everything good life can give me, I’m ready to leave.
Ahhh quiet quitting life 😂Sad that you have that feeling so young . This fucked up world 🙁
Yep. I’ve felt this way for as long as I can remember. I turn 27 this year.
yeah, like I’d never do it, but I wouldn’t mind, I wouldn’t “fight for my life” if anything happened to me. I don’t have any dependents and I don’t have much to live for.
Yes, me everyday. I’m always thinking about wanting to die but I’ll probably never be brave enough to even attempt suicide. It just hurts tho… Cuz I have an empty life and I regret lots of things and wish I could start my life over from a young age. :'(
I feel actively suicidal
I used to be this way for a long time. Then I started psychedelic meds and meditation
Can I ask what makes you feel this way? Loneliness? Financial issues?