So, I don’t understand why, but whenever I put a schedule on something, I immediately start to dread it.
Case and point, on sundays I play DnD with my friends from uni, I really enjoy DnD, I really enjoy being with my friends, and most of the time I have a good time when I’m playing.
And yet, I spend the entirety of Sunday morning, and fairly often Saturday evening, loathing the fact that I’m going to have to play DnD, and being generally miserable.
This extends to things like haircuts and such as well, I don’t actually have any real problem with haircuts, I certainly don’t enjoy them, but I don’t have a problem with them specifically.
And yet I’m currently utterly refusing to sort out a haircut, and have my entire adult life, despite the fact my hair is currently about 3 inches thick, just out of dread for having a schedule.
I struggle with this in work too, I’m lucky that, in the academic environment I work in, there’s almost a culture of “so long as your making good progress we dont care if you work 2 hours or 20.” meaning that I can largely rock up and sod off as and when I want, but the moment someone schedules a meeting? You guessed it, total dread all day long.
I don’t know if I’m alone in that, I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone else like it, but yeah, am I going utterly mad, or have I just not found my people?
Comments
I definitely don’t think you’re alone. I have had the same things happen with fun events, mundane events, and not fun events like meetings. I think the more exposed you are to it the less it bothers you but I certainly feel more relaxed when nothing extra is scheduled.
Flip side for me is I feel anxious if I know I have to schedule something and have been putting it off. Can’t win.
I had this really badly to the point where it was affecting my life as well. This is going to sound backwards but the only thing that helped it go away was working out. I signed up for a boot camp type thing three times a week and this type of anxiety went away after about a month.