Parents, landlords, your boss. Having to constantly please these people you depend on because if you make one wrong move you’re out of a job or a place to live?
Or fearing them one day saying “I don’t need you anymore” or “I’ve changed my mind about you staying here.”
I hate the continuous unpredictability that comes from adult life especially in a society that is increasingly exploitative.
And me complaining about anything or asking for more runs the risk of jeopardising something.
Comments
I completely feel the same way. It’s nerve-racking and extremely frustrating. Yeah, you are definitely not alone on this.
Yes but sadly these days that is life for so many of us
In 2019 I cursed out everyone and left.
Its been rocky, but the freedom makes me feel like I was not really alive before.
It is hard to say no to a comfortable prison cell and sometimes feels like jumping out of the frying pan and into the fire. But when you KNOW there is no future you have to make that jump.
Absolutely……but you are for sure able to change that. I mean job wise, not entirely, but find yourself a better job with a much more understanding boss that’s more empathetic. For your living situation, all I can say is to move out, move in with someone who doesn’t and won’t make you feel that way, better yet get your own apartment! Freedom will be all yours!!!!! 🙂 also if a landlord is making you feel this way, absolutely leave, you’re the one paying them, not the other way around. May be better to go through a property management company, where this won’t be an issue as companies are much less invasive. Unless there is a reason to be invasive like you aren’t paying your rent on time or something, then I can absolutely understand it. Overall don’t take this life thing too seriously we are all still trying to figure are shit out lmao, and remember what you aren’t changing your choosing to a certain extent
it’s wild how society gaslights us into thinking this is normal and we’re just “not working hard enough”
When I learned to only depend on myself, everything changed.
For instance, I would listen to my parents thoughts on my life but, if I already made up my mind on something, I would stick to my original plan. And I found if I explained my train of thought, they realized I had put time into the decision and it was not on a whim.
Same with my property managers. I stopped fearing retaliation and started bringing concerns to them. And sometimes they would say no, but sometimes they would say yes. But even when they said no, that was the end of it. They didn’t serve me with a notice to vacate just for asking for something or having a discussion.
Same with employers. There are plenty of jobs available. May take time to find a new one, but they are out there. And with side hustles so plentiful in this point in time, it’s possible to make ends meet until that new job is lined up.
Every time I fuck up at work, I just know this time Is gonna be the one. Luckily it’s never as serious as I make it seem in my head.
I’ve had scummy landlords and dirtbag bosses before, the kind of people where even if you follow all the rules and do what’s asked they’ll just ratchet up the expectations without giving anything in return. It fucking sucks, and “exploitative” is exactly the word I’d use.
Only way to get out of it is to know what to look out for, and be able to provide something that other people can’t. Unfortunately that’s easier in the job market, in the rental market they’re able to just say “Oh, you got a kid? You got pets? You’re a young couple? Keep night hours? Who cares what you can afford, fuck off.”
Yes dealing with my mother is like walking through a minefield but the mines move depending on her mood and who else is around
Consider self-employment. At least start something on the side and build it up. Once you are self-employed it’s a huge rush of freedom and you’ll never want to give it up. You will jealously guard it. Seriously it’s awesome.
OMG yes! I was single and lived alone for a long long time. The best thing about it was I didn’t have to depend on anyone since I had my own place. Now I live with my fiance and every time we disagree or argue I worry that he will want me out of his house. I worry enough that I keep up to date about what is for sale around me that I can afford, in case I have to make a quick move. I know it’s not really healthy but I worry, so this helps alleviate some of the anxiety of depending on someone else.
This is why you should always be your genuine self so that you don’t find yourself relying on people you have to perform around.
No, because I live in a developed nation with a welfare state. If I lose my job, I have three months to find a new one. If I somehow can’t find work, the government has my back in the mean time. If my landlord voids my rental contract, I have one month to find a new place.
Yes. Being rich and not having to answer to anyone would solve it, but alas I feel like this is just typical adulthood
Yes! When I do get away, I feel so relaxed, but get really anxious/stressed because I’m so used to that I feel like I need it back
Yes. This is why I get so frustrated by advice to ‘change your life’ or ‘change your situation’. Because so much of what we do or have or achieve in this world is actually determined by other people. You have to be accepted for a job or a place to live. You have to be chosen by a date/partner to get married. You have to be granted a loan etc. You can’t make or force those things to happen without someone else agreeing and approving of you first.