I’ve been in a relationship with a guy for over a year, and for most of that time, I kept thinking something was wrong with me. I was constantly anxious, doubting myself, and wondering if I had relationship anxiety or if I was just emotionally avoidant. I saw so many posts and terms online that made me internalize all of it — like it was a personal failing.
But here’s what I’ve come to realize: I wasn’t actually in love. I wasn’t attracted to him in the way I kept hoping I would be. I kept thinking, “Maybe if I open up more, this will feel right.” I tried so hard to force it to work — but deep down, we were just incompatible.
I questioned myself, and I wish I’d trusted my instincts sooner. It’s taken me a while, but I’ve finally stopped pathologizing my feelings. I’m not “avoidant” — I’m just someone who deserves a real connection. A relationship where I feel something and don’t have to fight myself every step of the way.
Has anyone else been through something like this? Where you tried to force it, convinced yourself you were the problem — only to later realize you just weren’t with the right person?
TL;DR: Spent a year blaming myself for “relationship anxiety” when in reality I just wasn’t in love or attracted to the guy. Turns out we were incompatible, not broken. The internet over-pathologized what was simply a mismatch. I deserve a healthy, natural connection — and so do you.
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Reads like a.i —