DAE not want to see their (close) friends naked in a sauna, regardless of their gender and sexual orientation?

r/

I’m aware this is probably a very cultural issue and depends on everyone’s upbringing. German upbringing here.

It’s not that I’m prude or “condemn” nudity in general. It’s just that I don’t want to “enrich” a friend’s vision in my head with the image of their naked bodies which contribute nothing to the emotional proximity and interpersonal relationship at best – and may at worst risk interfering with my internal image of a friend, simply because it introduces a kind of intimacy that doesn’t belong there for me.

(Whether I find a body aesthetically pleasing or not is irrelevant to me, and I’m in no position to judge anyone’s body but my romantic partner’s.)

What’s to gain but images in my head that have no personal relevance or value to the quality of a friendship?

Comments

  1. sammy4543 Avatar

    This almost sounds like an anxiety thing. I have a similar dealio. It’s like the risk that that info could mess things up more so than the actual thing itsself being bad or scary.

  2. trisaroar Avatar

    I’ve realized I’m just uncomfortable with casual platonic nudity, and reasonable friends understand and don’t push it. Some people think it’s perfectly natural to shower or sauna with friends, and like, good for them. I encourage that if they’re into it, and they can engage in it with other friends who match that energy. I know what my boundaries are for myself and as long as we respect each other’s, it’s really a non-issue.

  3. BlakkMaggik Avatar

    I (38/m) have saunad naked with probably most of my closest male friends, probably with several at a time, and never thought anything if it. I don’t “see” my friends naked because I don’t look, because I’m not interested and it’s not like that. Quite frankly seeing a shirtless dude on the beach probably makes me more uncomfortable than sauna with the bros.

    It’s definitely a cultural thing.

  4. Possumnal Avatar

    It’s a complete non-issue for me, I neither “want to” or “don’t want to”. There’s nothing sexual or intimate about the situation, and I don’t think I’ve ever had it change any kind of friendship or interpersonal relationship one way or another. All things considered I suppose I’d rather shower or sauna privately if it’s an option, but it’s not something that comes up often enough for me to really think much of it.

  5. fgbTNTJJsunn Avatar

    No. Idgaf.
    Naked doesn’t have to mean intimate.

  6. bapplebauce Avatar

    Interesting, yeah I don’t feel this way at all, if anything those kind of situations actually embolden my ability to trust that person and feel that person can trust me.

  7. SovereignNavae Avatar

    I’m Finnish, so I have seen my family, my extended family, and my friends of all genders naked. It’s hard to explain but I just kinda don’t “see” them naked? Like I have eyes and they are there but I’m not watching or assigning any meaning to what is in front of me. It’s just completely neutral, I’m completely indifferent if people are naked or in swimsuits.

  8. Kentuckywindage01 Avatar

    It’s okay to be uncomfortable with what you’re uncomfortable with, don’t let anyone shame you by calling you a prude.

    That’s said, I’ve seen my best bro’s wang a million times, and he’s seen mine.

  9. Key-Candle8141 Avatar

    Wouldnt bother me as I’m usually the first to loose there clothes in social situations

    If it did I just wouldnt look 🤷‍♀️ seems simple to me

  10. carbslut Avatar

    1000% agree.

    I just don’t like seeking people naked in general. I don’t wanna see friends naked. I don’t wanna see strangers naked. Clothes are good.

  11. phenomenomnom Avatar

    There is such a thing as modesty. It’s a boundary. You are allowed to have those.

  12. hotnmad Avatar

    No, I don’t care. I just don’t look.

  13. imliterallyjustvibin Avatar

    Well if you view it as intimacy then of course it makes sense you might not be comfortable with that. It’s not intimacy to see someone naked unless you make it intimate, which is what you’re doing

  14. YesHelloDolly Avatar

    For me, saunas are not for checking people out. It is polite to keep one’s eyes to oneself.

  15. ballroombritz Avatar

    I think this is quite cultural. I think most Americans would say it’s quite normal not to want to see friends naked.

  16. moverene1914 Avatar

    Yikes, I can’t think of anybody. I want to see naked, at all.

  17. Anzai Avatar

    Yeah I don’t really want to see that. But mainly because I hate my own body so much that I’d be far more anxious about me being naked than them, and their relaxed attitude to it would just amplify my own issues.

  18. V4refugee Avatar

    Yeah, I don’t see why it’s necessary to be naked around the bros.

  19. jtunzi Avatar

    Hey there’s a reason why wearing clothes is the default in almost every society.

  20. zeppelincheetah Avatar

    I have never seen any friends naked and don’t care to.

  21. klevah Avatar

    So don’t go in a sauna

  22. Kyauphie Avatar

    I don’t disagree with unnecessary images being burnt in your mind, and I add that I’m sensitive to smell and have no desire to smell anyone’s unclothed body in concentration.

  23. ToxyFlog Avatar

    As an American, yeah wtf? I never want to see my friends naked EVER. Why would anyone ever be naked in a sauna. Sorry but 🤮🤮

  24. Cl0ckW0rked Avatar

    There hasn’t been any reason for my friends and I to ever be nude around one another. I don’t think I want to see any of them nude, and I don’t want them to see me nude. My upbringing taught me that nudity is done solely in secret, so I bring a swimsuit anywhere where nudity could possibly arise in a social situation.