Fake account so no one can link this to me, as it is i’ve been dating someone for 5 years (this year will be 5) and despite it being so long we still havent fucked and i’ll be honest, at point it does piss me off. she never initiates cause shes shy and such but open to doing things and by doing things its just me eating her out and thats it, not touching my dick or anything. I love eating her out but i just want my dick touched, to get a handjob and a blowjob and just to have sex but nope shes always not sure or whatever the fuck she says. Pisses me off sometimes and sometimes i get irritated inside when shes like “im glad you’re home alone we can have some fun đ ” cause its just gonna be me doing everything, eating her out and boom thats it. Sorry about this post, I just wanted to get it off my chest cause it does piss me off sometimes
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Sometimes ? I would have been pissed full time after a while.
You need to sit down with her and have a talk regarding the fact that your current arrangement doesn’t suit you and that you cannot always be the only one giving. You cannot force her to do anything she doesn’t want to, of course : but you can stop pleasuring her and make it a dealbreaker in your relationship.
5 years is a long time, even if the relationship started very young.
Five years, that is endurance. I know how much it can ache when you want be touched. May I assume you have told her you want some stimulation? Is this hesitancy a religious thing? Has she had sexual trauma?
dont finish her next time. Spice it up in the moment. (i know sounds manipulative)
Sooo.. tf is her problem? Does she want to save herself for marriage or something? But then how come she’s okay with you giving her head and not the other way around? You must’ve talked about this by now
Problem is youâre always giving and now sheâs used to that so she doesnât feel the need to return the same favor. Have a serious talk about it. Tell her you love her but intimacy is also important to you, that you feel like youâre taken advantage of at this point and donât feel like putting in the effort if sheâs still unsure.
I applaud you for the amount of patience you have, like holy shit. Seriously though you need to talk. This isn’t right. Your needs deserve to be met too and if she can’t understand that and won’t compromise I would walk away.
You have the right to break up if this relationship isn’t working for you.
You do not have the right to insist she does anything she’s uncomfortable with.
It sounds like the relationship has more than run its course.
You should receive an award for your patience, why tf are you dating if you 2 are not doing it?
I would totally go crazy. Me and my wife fucked the 5th day we knew each other.
But that’s not even the bad part of your situation…..
Shy or not, she’s using you bro. Your essentially her sex toy that gets just her off then is put back in the drawer. I understand being shy, but 5 years of strictly just eating her out? She’s either using you or is a closet lesbian that hates dicks
have you asked why she doesn’t do anything?
If she has a mental problem with touching you or intercourse she should talk to a therapist, this is going nowhere this way.
5 years is insane I guess itâs easier because youâre both virgins, good for you on being patient. However the way youâre talking about sex and doing it with her is kinda gross. I wouldnât want to lose my virginity to someone who would just initiate it rather than having the decency to make it a little more special.
Ask her whatâs going on? Actually communicate and have a conversation about it and how to navigate whatâs going on. If you havenât said anything youâre your own downfall.
Is she… Actually attracted to you?
yeah no this ainât about sex anymore
this is about resentment stacking up with no honesty to clear it
youâre allowed to want more
youâre allowed to be frustrated
youâre also in the wrong relationship if 5 years in, you canât talk about this without filtering yourself to avoid drama
youâre not her emotional janitor
and sheâs not your unpaid fantasy machine
if yâall canât communicate clearly about sex after half a decade, something way deeper is broken
either talk it out like grownups
or stop pretending this is gonna magically fix itself
I was in a relationship like this once. We never went beyond foreplay, and I respected her boundaries, but I also deeply loved her and wanted to feel desired too. I brought it up multiple times not in a pushy way, but just trying to understand how she felt and where we stood. Every time, she brushed it off like it didnât matter, like I didnât matter.
Eventually, I broke up with her not just because of the lack of intimacy, but because the whole relationship had become toxic. And when I ended it, she hit me with, âSo now you got what you want. You used me for your desire. Youâre an animal.â
Hearing those words messed me up. I couldnât even get hard for five months after that. It made me feel disgusting, like wanting to be close to someone I loved was something to be ashamed of. Even now, I still carry some of that weight.
So yeah⌠please break up with her save yourself the heartache and self doubt. Youâre not a match. And you deserve to be in a relationship where you feel loved, respected, and wanted physically and emotionally.
5 years is crazy, you could just go outside and pay for it atp. Do you feel like you canât do better? Why would anyone settle for this for so long, besides low self esteem?
I really think you need to leave! Me and my partner get a dry spell here and there but thatâs ridiculous! 5 years and still not had sex! Youâre the only one putting the effort in?!?? Thatâs absolutely absurd! Just leave at this point.
You’ve had one eye on her kidney for 5 years as she didn’t want to fuck? Somethings wrong and you need to ask her about it. This is literally blue ball hell.
I don’t know how old you are but if you’ve been dating since you were really young this might not be so strange.
It’s also unclear the level of communication that you have had with her about this and what sort of reflection she’s done on her end. There is a reason and she needs to investigate that. Sex is something we need to be able to talk about with your partner, the good and bad.
There is also a clear imbalance in who does what that’s not fair. It’s not. And it would be ok for you to stop giving until the two of your really have a sit down about where you are at in your relationship and what the expectations are. She might just be afraid and is content with where things are not realizing the stall it’s created and how much it is effecting you.
As for yourself, I might suggest you dial it back on your chosen words. If you speak to her like you do on this post you might be spooking her. If I was a virgin and my boyfriend was on my ass about “fucking” I’d feel really poorly about it. Sex for some people isn’t just about “fucking” but is something more. I know I would respond differently to being asked, “I love you and I want to make love to you because I want to experience everything with you,” than I would to, “It’s been by years, we haven’t fucked, and you never touch my dick.” Be tactful. If you love this girl and want to be with her in every way, treat her with more affection and romance.
On the flip side, you also don’t have to stay. I think it’s worth doing the work and try to find answers together if for no other reason than getting the experience on how to be a better and more communicative partner. However, if the answer isn’t to your liking, that may be the time to call it quits.
Be mindful of your approach. You don’t want to both lose your virginity under threat of breaking up. That’s basically coercion and not a great start to either of your sexual lives. Remember, you are in this together, as a team, until you aren’t.
Does that selfishness spill over into other areas of your relationship?
Dawg, talk to her about it. Hiding it for 5 years isn’t fair for her if you want a future with this woman. You NEED to have a conversation with your GF about this. The whining about her not initiating needs to stop, too. Otherwise, you’ll sound like those old guys who can’t handle their wife’s sudden libido change 10 years into marriage. (Kinda do sound like one now)
I understand the road goes both ways. You’re sexually frustrated, so it’s clouding your brain a tad bit. Chew on some ice and have a talk with her.
Have you said âwhile i love pleasing you, I am upset that you do not ever reciprocate.â?
Break up. You donât need this kind of frustration. You are going to find a girl who wants to rock your world or at least aligns with your sexual desires.
Bro, this is not ok. Itâs ok for you to express this to her and make it a deal breaker.
This isnât one of those âmen just want to get laidâ kind of situations. She is not reciprocating intimacy and itâs not fair. Obviously none of us know her history or if anything traumatic has happened to her. However, assuming for the moment something like that has happened her, she has a responsibility to at least voice that to you as her partner and take steps to work through it or set boundaries
5 years is crazy I get being nervous I acted like a dick was a live wire the first time I touched one and my patient bf let me get used to it and soon enough I was pushing him onto the bed and going at it like a pro.
You really need to discuss what the actual issue is, does she have a past sexual trauma or maybe tokophobia?
time for ultimatom my friend. it’s actually been a long time coming
how old are you OP? I ask bc if you’re both very young then maybe thats why
Something that is going to be hard to hear and accept but is almost guaranteed is that once you break up she will have sex with the next guy within days (if not the first night). This is a tale as old as time. Idk what it is psychologically going on in some women’s minds but sometimes when theyre virgins and with someone a long time since a younger age they just won’t have sex with the guy but the very next guy theyll have sex with almost right away. I hope when you break up that you dont keep tabs, its better for you but if you do, youll see.
It sounds like this isnât the right relationship for either of you then.
That’s crazy!Â
Yeah bro shes sleeping with someone else. if sheâs not even touching you, thatâs a huge red flag
There are givers & takers in this world. She’s a taker. Stop giving.
At least make her 69 dude… it’s pathetic, she’s shy but wants to get eaten out… she’s playing you…she already has a guy on the side rearranging her guts who refuses to eat her so she comes to you for that…
Why did you just put up with this for 5 years instead of talking to her about it or breaking up and finding someone elseâŚâŚâŚ
I used to be like this then I started dating women. Goodluck and sorry to my highschool bf lol
What the f i just read. It is not posibile.
If it is true, leave dude!
Is she Christian? Maybe sheâs trying to find a loop hole by not having actual intercourse. Who knows. Find out for sure