The title pretty much sums it up lol. I (22F) have been dating my boyfriend (20M) for about a year and a half and live with him. Things moved fast in the beginning, I had my own apartment when we first got together and things weren’t the best for him at home so he moved in quickly.
A few months in I found out he would Snapchat girls and then delete/block them before getting home or before I got home. It would sometimes be random girls but a lot of the times it’s girls that live in the same area as us. It started to progress to the point I guess he was coming off a little too strong to a few girls that didn’t want anything to do with him. I would have girls message me about it and it was super embarrassing.
We have broken up and gotten back together at least 3 times. We now live in a different apartment together that’s in his name and have 2 cats together. I have a very strong emotional attachment to him and I do love him a lot so I just don’t know what to do. He is still doing the same exact things, just not as often I guess. I recently started a new job where I work nights and one of my first nights on the job I got a message from a girl saying my bf was asking to see her and she rudely told me to keep him out of her inbox. Yesterday he went through my Snapchat (he does stuff like this sometimes even though I don’t talk to guys lol, I feel it’s projecting) to make sure I wasn’t doing anything but then he made a new secret Snapchat account when I left for work, lol.
It’s always the same story, “I don’t know how to be alone” (bc he usually does this stuff when I’m at work and he’s off at work alone), “I don’t know how to stop” “I don’t know what’s wrong with my brain.” For a while he had me really convinced that he was really struggling with this (there was also a bit of porn addiction at play as well) and I’ve been determined to stay with him and work through things. He told me he would do a therapy session with me we just haven’t got one scheduled yet. However, I’m starting to doubt that he even feels sorry or even actually tries to resist the urges he has. The same night that the girl messaged me while I was at work, (mentioned in previous paragraph) I immediately confronted him and he acted so regretful and ashamed but I found out a while later that after acting that way he took advantage of the fact I still had a few hours at work and tried to get nudes from a different girl.
Like I said, he goes through my phone and Snapchat and last weekend one of his friends was flirting with me and he “wanted to kill him” in his words. I don’t know what to think other than it feels like he wants me to be tied down but doesn’t want to be himself. Like he’s keeping me around til he finds something better. It’s a really sucky feeling.
Tl;Dr my boyfriend is fairly possessive of me and says he wants a monogamous relationship but is constantly trying to talk to other women.
Comments
So break up with the guy who has continually cheated on you your entire relationship instead of repeatedly posting to Reddit about how he keeps cheating on you and “you don’t know what to do.”