A few days ago she told me that she’s had a MMF threesome in her past, this somehow has affected me a lot. Ever since she’s told me this I haven’t been able to separate her and that thing. I’ve actively hidden it from her about how I feel as whenever I try to bring this up she gets upset and starts crying. We tried to talk about it but she got upset to stop that I’ve started pretending that it doesn’t affect me at all. As long as she’s happy I don’t mind hiding my feelings from her. Should I keep going ? I don’t want her to feel bad because of something that’s soo pathetic on my part. If o bring this up again she’ll probably end up crying again blaming herself for telling it to me but I don’t want her to be sorry for this. To prevent this from happening I’ve started telling her how I don’t care much, so that rather than being upset with herself she’s pissed at me We’ve been dating since January. What should I do ?
Ok some things to answer first – I love her now more than I’ve probably ever have, so u don’t want to break up with her at all. It’s not that she tries to get out of situations by crying cuz she’s tried to talk about it but always ends up crying cuz of how she blames herself Just so that she has less guilt I’ve been telling her things to make her angry at me so that she’s no that sad with herself all the time.
More information for the breakup tips I don’t want to break up with her, she’s emotionally very attached to me and I’m to her. She’s had it unfair in the past and I believe that if I don’t talk about it with her she’ll just forget it, she sort of already has and I’m glad that she has. It’s just that if I bring it up again she’ll be upset with herself and I don’t want that. Also when I’m with her she’s not able to tell if I’m hiding something or not. And in time I’ll probably get over it too
More context here I know I’m the asshole for feeling the way I feel, it’s not that she was stopping me from exploring when we weren’t together, I’m a pathetic loser for feeling like this. But I don’t her judge her for that it’s just that I’m not able to forget about it or get over it. It’s not something she should put up with but no matter what I do she wouldn’t breakup with me. She is not at fault here, I am. This is a me problem and time will probably make me less concerned with this. It’s just that I’m wrong here
More information she told me that – she told me about this the first night we met, then she was just a hookup and I forgot about rather never actively registered it in my mind cuz it’s been months.
TL;DR – I’m not bringing up how I feel about myself over something she told me cuz she cries and blames herself for it.