Dear Americans, stop measuring things in medieval goblin units

r/

I beg you. Please stop writing things like “my dog weighs 80 pounds”, “add half a gallon”, or “he’s 6 foot 2.”
PLEASE! I mean, what on earth am I meant to do with that? Brew a potion? Consult a druid? I’m European. I use units that weren’t invented by a blacksmith with a drinking problem.

So please, for the love of Galileo and good sense, stop making me do maths and Google and convert just to understand your stupid sandwich recipe. I’m tired of feeling like a Renaissance scholar just to read a forum post.

Yes, we once used your ancient systems. Back when we were busy burning witches and thinking leeches cured everything. But then, dear friends, we evolved. We invented the metric system. A beautiful, logical, base-ten marvel of enlightenment.

You are still measuring weight in units based on how many sacks of turnips your great-great-granduncle could carry in 1732.

And don’t come at me with “bUt FaHreNheiT iS m0rE prEciSe.” No, Greg. Celsius works just fine unless you’re trying to bake a goblin.

Join us in the land of science and sanity. It’s nice here. We have decimals. And dignity.

Comments

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  2. CerenarianSea Avatar

    It’s funny because as a Brit when measuring large objects like buildings or cliffs, I’m more inclined to use metres.

    When measuring a person feet and inches is vastly easier for me than centimetres.

    Plus Britain is measured in miles, not kilometres.

    We are a strange land.

  3. Upbeat-Monitor-1125 Avatar

    Why using a proper measurement system when you have feet and inches

  4. Mathalamus2 Avatar

    actually… those units were invented in europe. Britain. so….

  5. Recent_Ad2699 Avatar

    And while you’re at it, it’s football, not soccer!

  6. Ph33r-Enigma Avatar

    6 foot 2 guy with 80 pound dog here. I disagree. This is the measurement system that was pounded into my head from first to 12th grade. For as long as I have been putting gravy on my biscuits. 

  7. dwair Avatar

    I’d honestly don’t think this is an unpopular option… unless of course you are one of the few backward people left on the planet who uses goblin units, in which case do what you want. No one else cares that much.

  8. Desperate_Source7631 Avatar

    I learned both systems in school, obviously our standard system is used far more often, but I can’t blame the government for keeping it, would probably cost a pretty penny to change all the speed limit and distance markers to Kilometers.

  9. Curious_Location4522 Avatar

    Yeah we should measure people in stones.

  10. credible_expendable Avatar
  11. Partnumber Avatar

    I know the “Ha ha, Americans use different units” gambit has always been an easy way to drive engagement, but let’s assume you’re not just practicing a tight five.

    What are you engaging with where imperial units are so fundamental to whatever’s going on that it’s become a problem in your day-to-day life? Are there times when it comes up where estimating based on context clues isn’t a viable way to progress?

  12. Unicoronary Avatar

    We should instead use metric units which work off a completely separate and only mildly less nonsensical standard. 

  13. No-Bit-5825 Avatar

    shouldn’t be unpopular for people with common sense. this system is rudimentary, and we need to leave it in the past

  14. Incorrigible_Gaymer Avatar

    I’m not an American, but seriously, why do you care? If they like their system, no matter how stupid it is, let them use it. It’s their problem, not ours, after all.

    Ridicule will only cause siege mentality and make it even less likely to change. The best way to make them change is to ignore it and wait.

  15. Tipsyratto Avatar

    This is the least unpopular opinion I think I’ve ever read here, well done. 

  16. Apprehensive_Map64 Avatar

    As a dual citizen of the US and Canada, I am fine using both. Each has its own context where it works best. Most notably is temperature, when it’s cold Celsius is best so we know the point that water freezes and each degree in the negative represents the overall level of tolerability. When it’s hot Fahrenheit is best with 100°C just slightly over average body temperature and each degree after is torture.

    I just moved to France and in buying wood and the sort I still have yet to get over using metric. It makes little sense of objectively but it just seems weird calling a 2×4 a 50×100

  17. keIIzzz Avatar

    Just don’t use American recipes then lol, it’s not that deep

  18. watchtheworldsmolder Avatar

    Bananas for scale, bananas for measurement, bananas for president

  19. HoffkaPaffka Avatar

    Not to be the devil’s advocate, but I find using halves, quarters, eights, sixteenths etc. more natural than dividing by ten.

  20. ILikeGames22 Avatar

    I want to but I don’t think enough other people will want to.

  21. MrKrispyIsHere Avatar

    you measure shit your way and I’ll measure shit my way

  22. LilMissBarbie Avatar

    “the cow that weighs 300 hamburgers and is the size of f150 pickup bed”

  23. SadBadPuppyDad Avatar

    What in the cubit are you on about?

  24. Profopol Avatar

    With all due respect, we have bigger problems right now.

    A shit ton of them.

    Love,
    America

  25. blutigetranen Avatar

    Literally one of the most popular opinions on the planet

  26. WerwolfSlayr Avatar

    Don’t worry we aren’t all cavemen here in the US; I’ve got a 9mm and a five grams in my pocket right now

  27. downingdown Avatar

    USA already adopted the metric system…but only for ammo.

  28. playertd Avatar

    Y’all use “stones” as a weight measurement lmfao that’s some caveman shit right there.

  29. ninasmolders Avatar

    They were supposed to change to metric to spite the brittish ofc but the ship with the mitherweights sank and they kinda just… gave up on it?

    Anyway, never fact checked this tale atall but its one of those where theres no harm done if i stick to it and it just feels right to me ya know

  30. topshelfvanilla Avatar

    People are measured in feet and inches, milk and gasoline are bought by the gallon, guns are gauges and calibers. Except for metric guns, those are mm, and motorcycles are liters, and weed in grams. You sound jealous that we are measurementally more flexible than you.

    PS, fahrenheit makes more sense for outside temperature and cooking, but my soldering iron and 3d printer are in Celsius. I’m sorry you’re so limited.

  31. CautiousAd2801 Avatar

    I’m an American and I agree, our measurements are stupid

  32. skauros Avatar

    As a Brit…I have to downvote this one even if I do agree on the Fahrenheit point 👍

  33. Error_404_403 Avatar

    Imperial units are human-centric, not abstract like metric. One pint is just the right amount of beer to have at a go. 6 feet is one-digit height that tells you are moderately tall. Why do I need 3 abstract digits for that? One mile is a distance to most destinations around and a walk a healthy person can take before any feeling of tiredness. A gallon is the amount of water a person needs to have for a day for different needs. Not–what?–3.4asdfasd liters.

  34. Svartrbrisingr Avatar

    Got it. Measure things in football fields and 50. Bmg

    That’s a modern form of measurement.

  35. zouss Avatar

    Thank you ChatGPT

  36. ChaoticDissonance Avatar

    Let’s measure weight in STONES!

  37. chronberries Avatar

    Maybe learn to make your own sandwich 🤷‍♂️

  38. earfeater13 Avatar

    You come within 5 blue whales of America and say that

  39. palm0 Avatar

    It’s always wild to me when we catch shit for this while the UK is over there using stones and shit but no one seems to give a shit about it.

    Also, fun fact, American measurement system is slightly different from the imperial system while using the same names, which is also confusing.

  40. grumpy_tired_bean Avatar

    nah, the metric system is dumb and makes no sense. I dont want to have to do math every time I want to measure something, be it distance, temperature, or weight

  41. DaenerysMomODragons Avatar

    I get it, but not an opinion, just a rant.

  42. candlestick_maker76 Avatar

    On the one hand, you’re absolutely right.

    On the other hand, I like my medieval goblin units. In fact, I might like them even more now that I’ve read your rant. We goblins are a contrary bunch.

  43. Canyoufly88 Avatar

    Non metric systems incode special relationships between certain things.

    12 inches equals a foot. 12 pads on 4 fingers, bout a foot.

    1 mile = 8 furlongs

    1 furlong = 660 feet

    1 mile = 8 × 660 = 5,280 feet

    D.C was set up using these measurments.

    Pyramids use the same harmonic design of 8 as do many other ancient buildings and monuments.

    Metric don’t cut it when it comes to beauty.

  44. AttilatheLopez Avatar

    Thanks for your two cents but I don’t value this opinion as far as I can throw it.

    Now if you don’t mind me I’m about to head to the gas station, which is about 9 foot ball fields away.

    I’m playin, bro, I’m playin.

  45. Apprehensive_Pin3536 Avatar

    Wtf is a stone or a hand?

  46. ATLSxFINEST93 Avatar

    No one tell them about waffle house

  47. GasFartRepulsive Avatar

    Thank god this is an unpopular opinion. A European demanding everyone use their system? Wow. Historically unprecedented.

  48. PineappleFit317 Avatar

    Our third president, Thomas Jefferson, intended to convert our system of measurement to metric, but the weights and measures had to be ordered from France, and pirates kept raiding the ships that were delivering them. By the time the USA got a set of metric weight and measure rulers, we’d already built a lot of shit according to our old system, so converting would have been way too much work.

  49. Hotdog_disposal_unit Avatar

    Their cars get 40 rods to the hogs head and that’s the way they likes it

  50. _otterly_confused Avatar

    I just wanted to say I love how this is written! Made me genuinely laugh (in metric)

  51. lewisfairchild Avatar

    lol the UK weighs meat by the kilo by sells it by the pound – what a joke.

  52. Broad-Doughnut5956 Avatar

    I love the metric system, but I will forever have Fahrenheit over Celsius. It’s simply more intuitive. 100 degrees is pretty hot? Yeah, that makes sense.

  53. Stormychu Avatar

    How is this unpopular.

  54. ThisMFcooks Avatar

    This is the cutest angry British rant I’ve ever read. I bet you’re about 5 foot 4, and drink a gallon of earl gray tea before you eat a pound of beans on your toast.

  55. Mstrchf117 Avatar

    laughs in first on the moon USA USA 🇱🇷🦅🗽🎆 /S
    (SHUT UP I know actual scientists use metric 🙄)

  56. URAPhallicy Avatar

    Both systems have their use cases. You have a phone, converting is easy.

  57. djinnorgenie Avatar

    you already know how many pounds equal a kilo, how much a gallon is, and how big an inch is. nobody cares. FYI i’m not even american

  58. WarpRealmTrooper Avatar

    “Goblin units” kinda makes me want to use that system :p

    Imperials, want to trade? If you start using metric, we can start using short scale for millions+

    (long scale is better but they are pretty close)

  59. i_sesh_better Avatar

    This is unfair I think. Individual Americans have no choice but to use the measurements they know and which other people know, litres are probably as unhelpful to a Yank as gallons are to a European. If an American makes content for an American audience using American measurements, who are we to tell them they need to adapt to us as individuals? Yes, metric would be better and would help standardise understandings. No, individual Americans have no burden to bear by using metric in a context it doesn’t help in.

    And I say this as a Brit… if you don’t like Americans using a different system, have a look at the multiple systems we use lol.

  60. generic-username45 Avatar

    As an American I like metric for everything except temperature. Celsius was designed to match freezing at zero and boiling at 100 so everything else is screwy. Fahrenheit is far superior for people to use.

  61. midunda Avatar

    Upvoted because of “medieval goblin units”

  62. funkster047 Avatar

    Okay but isn’t the imperial system better for cooking so everything can be measured in whole/halfs/thirds/and quarts?

  63. Yuck_Few Avatar

    Nope. We don’t want the metric system. Cry more

  64. Newftube Avatar

    As a Canadian millennial who was taught the metric system in school; using meters/kilograms to measure height/weight is equally as baffling to me, as feet/pounds are to you.
    Relating to large objects, drawing things to scale or firearms? Sure I’ll use meters, it makes sense at that point. in my day to day? It doesn’t actually add anything except complexity.

    When someone can articulate to me why “4 units of measurement” is worse than “121.92 units of measurement”, I’ll consider changing.

    The most baffling part honestly is how it bothers you all so much that it comes up on reddit almost every week.

    /rant

    All that said, i’ll concede the point on using Celsius for measuring outside temperature, but even then its only because its what I grew up using. As it relates to food safety (unless it changed in the few years since i’ve done a food safety course) Fahrenheit is still used.

    Anyway, upvote for having an opinion that’s at least relatively unpopular on this side of the Atlantic.

  65. DingbattheGreat Avatar

    Thats funny but the US already uses the metric system.

  66. ComicsEtAl Avatar

    He was your blacksmith!

  67. RolandDeepson Avatar

    Hey, when you discuss fuel economy for your vehicle, do you use the word “kilometerage” or do you use the word “mileage”?

  68. AerolothLorien666 Avatar

    We didn’t really get a choice in the matter now did we?

  69. pulsatingcrocs Avatar

    The truth is that everybody grows up with it and understands it perfectly fine. It might seem convoluted but in everyday life you are never converting between units.

  70. A_Rogue_Forklift Avatar

    How many stones of pounds do you have in your bank account?

  71. KingKnux Avatar

    Stop using unnecessary extra letters in words and we’ll talk about it

  72. SnarkyFool Avatar

    How much does a medieval goblin weigh? Is this where you guys came up with stone?

  73. GayRacoon69 Avatar

    As an American at least we’re consistent.

    I mean the Brits still use stones and both the UK and Canada use some kinda strange amalgamation of imperial and metric

  74. viewer0987654321 Avatar

    Don’t come to Canada or your head will explode. Any given sentence could combine metric and imperial, maybe with a dash of French to keep you on your toes if you’re in the right region.

  75. 2017lg6 Avatar

    Maube you should just go have a pint.

  76. _HeartburnBarbie_ Avatar

    No. We do this for a reason. And it’s a system we are used to and instantly have a reference for it. Just like you do with yours. You Stop using Celsius, a scale for water temperature, for the weather and maybe we can talk about it then.

  77. Flossthief Avatar

    I know all of the necessary conversions and adjust my speech depending on who I’m talking to

    I think any adult knows how to do these basic conversions when needed

  78. Grand_Raccoon0923 Avatar

    first world problems – a person who clearly uses a device that has access to all the information in the world complaining about having to convert units of measure.

  79. Syenthros Avatar

    Well this opinion feels like twelve gallons of bad in a ten gallon hat.

    If I want to measure things height in severed feet stacked, or distances in laid out Miles, I have every God given right to do so.

    Yeehaw.

  80. colt707 Avatar

    I’ll say it. There’s countries that use the metric system and there’s countries that have landed people on the moon.

  81. Klolok Avatar

    I’m into 3d printing and therefore use Celceus for temperature as that’s the standard for that particular hobby. Still use Fahrenheit for regular cooking though even though I know that when you tell alexa to cook at 350 degrees Farhenheit, it’s just cooking in the equivalent Celceus temperature.

  82. Ok-Car-5115 Avatar

    And give up buttload as a unit of measurement? Never.

  83. ssmit102 Avatar

    Friendly reminder that the British created the Imperial System, so like most of things, the Brit’s never want to take responsibility for their actions.

  84. Well_Dressed_Kobold Avatar

    This is a very popular opinion.

  85. ClydeStyle Avatar

    At least it’s convertible. Brits use terms to measure things by stone. That’s archaic sounding.

  86. bct7 Avatar

    Don’t worry, in a few decades America’s decline will force them into metric system.

  87. Graniteman83 Avatar

    While I understand, not an unpopular take. Easy on the science, sanity and dignity we’re a bit sensitive right now, measurements are not our focus at the moment.

  88. RavenHeart02 Avatar

    I will contuine to use fish per eagle and theirs nothing you can do about it

  89. Realsorceror Avatar

    If the metric system had something equivalent to a foot I’d have switched already.

  90. Davey26 Avatar

    People still measure shit in stones, don’t come at me with my superior to learn easy math.

  91. Aslamtum Avatar

    In Canada we just use both. We use the rational system and we also use “feet” to count our height. For some reason, the height thing just works better in feet, than in meters or whatever else.

  92. davesaunders Avatar

    As an American, 90% of my job is done in metric, but I use imperial units as well. Ultimately, I don’t care. Here in the 21st-century it’s far too easy to pivot as needed.

  93. WisebloodNYC Avatar

    All the twelve-fingered people are here to have a word with you about your base-10-ist system.