Honestly, about 10 years. During those 10 years, I was in denial of what the real problems were. Once I was honest with myself about the root cause of the problems, my life slowly turned around for the better. Now it’s been 7 years since then and I am doing great.
Sloooooow process. Just take your time. It’ll happen… slowly.
As Mike Ermantraut said (in reference to “do you ever get over having to kill someone”) from Better Call Saul:
“Well, here’s what’s gonna happen. One day… one day, you’re gonna wake up, eat your breakfast, brush your teeth, go about your business. And sooner or later, you’re gonna realize you haven’t thought about it. None of it. And that’s the moment you realize you can forget. When you know that’s possible, it all gets easier.”
Honestly? It took way longer than I thought. I had days I felt better and then weeks I crashed again. Healing wasn’t a straight line—it was messy, confusing, and slow. But over time, small choices like sleeping on time, cutting off toxic stuff, and just getting through one day at a time… started adding up. Still not perfect, but definitely not where I used to be.
About 3 years or so to be honest. And that was after some work for about a solid year and then fell backwards. It’s a process turning those wounds into scars.
I used 10 years goals. Real change doesn’t come quick, nor does it come easy. When I realized I had to cut my own expenses for the rest of my life or increase my income I started investing time and as much money as I could in adult education. As soon as I did that things started to improve.
Not that not in knowledge, but classes improved my social skills. I gained respect at my job, offering me a better position after about a year. Could buy better clothes with the extra money. Met my SO. Got an even better job after first diploma, bought a house.
I was poor, in money, education and social skills. Somehow I realized that blaming external factors (although very much rightly so) wasn’t going to help. The only thing I could change was myself. I’ve been working for 35 years now. Done studies about half of those years. Recently started my own (successful) business.
Ten years after the start of this journey I did not have any financial problems anymore (debts were paid, could even save money) and I could make my own choices in life. Still worth every penny and every minute Input in.
Granted I had a grace period at a rehab and tons of help. But the pieces were put in place and after that all I needed to do was to continue to sharpen the sword metaphorically. Use the tools I had been given. 3+ years in and life’s been sublime ever since.
Find ways to enjoy the process. And remember that growth isn’t linear. It’s usually circular, but generally trending upwards in loops of wins/losses.
I waited til I was late 20’s to fuck everything up. Two legal convictions, 1.5 years apart. Two careers gone. Credit score dropped 300 points. Racked up 40k in debt. Estranged a lot of friends and family with a subsequent drinking problem.
But, slowly, you work and invest in yourself, make the best of things, radically embrace life for what it is, and in a couple years you realize one day it’s all pretty much behind you, and that’s nice.
Hey friend ❤️ I had pretty much given up. Just about to turn 30, job I didn’t like, no love on the horizon. I was really lost and didn’t know what to do with myself.
Work put on a TA workshop (just a 2 day thing) and it was a revelation 🤯 I understood my thought processes, it highlighted my blind spots and gave me a push. I worked on altering my social algorithms to show positivity then dropped socials altogether. I underwent counselling and therapy for a period and it was revelatory.
Now studying to be a counsellor myself so
I can use my dark times to give others light 💡
Comments
Honestly, about 10 years. During those 10 years, I was in denial of what the real problems were. Once I was honest with myself about the root cause of the problems, my life slowly turned around for the better. Now it’s been 7 years since then and I am doing great.
About 2.5-3 years for me.
Sloooooow process. Just take your time. It’ll happen… slowly.
As Mike Ermantraut said (in reference to “do you ever get over having to kill someone”) from Better Call Saul:
“Well, here’s what’s gonna happen. One day… one day, you’re gonna wake up, eat your breakfast, brush your teeth, go about your business. And sooner or later, you’re gonna realize you haven’t thought about it. None of it. And that’s the moment you realize you can forget. When you know that’s possible, it all gets easier.”
I turn it around all the time.
Three hundred and sixty degrees.
About 2 years!
2 years
Honestly? It took way longer than I thought. I had days I felt better and then weeks I crashed again. Healing wasn’t a straight line—it was messy, confusing, and slow. But over time, small choices like sleeping on time, cutting off toxic stuff, and just getting through one day at a time… started adding up. Still not perfect, but definitely not where I used to be.
About five years, after living 15 years in a marriage with a narcissistic psychopath. It’s not done overnight, that’s for sure.
~15+ years.
8-9 years or so. It was rough. Bad stuff happened in that time I’m still dealing with.
About 3 years or so to be honest. And that was after some work for about a solid year and then fell backwards. It’s a process turning those wounds into scars.
I personally don’t think I’ll ever be 100% but after 15 years id say I’m 85%
I used 10 years goals. Real change doesn’t come quick, nor does it come easy. When I realized I had to cut my own expenses for the rest of my life or increase my income I started investing time and as much money as I could in adult education. As soon as I did that things started to improve.
Not that not in knowledge, but classes improved my social skills. I gained respect at my job, offering me a better position after about a year. Could buy better clothes with the extra money. Met my SO. Got an even better job after first diploma, bought a house.
I was poor, in money, education and social skills. Somehow I realized that blaming external factors (although very much rightly so) wasn’t going to help. The only thing I could change was myself. I’ve been working for 35 years now. Done studies about half of those years. Recently started my own (successful) business.
Ten years after the start of this journey I did not have any financial problems anymore (debts were paid, could even save money) and I could make my own choices in life. Still worth every penny and every minute Input in.
Roughly 60-90 days.
Granted I had a grace period at a rehab and tons of help. But the pieces were put in place and after that all I needed to do was to continue to sharpen the sword metaphorically. Use the tools I had been given. 3+ years in and life’s been sublime ever since.
3-4 years.
Find ways to enjoy the process. And remember that growth isn’t linear. It’s usually circular, but generally trending upwards in loops of wins/losses.
I waited til I was late 20’s to fuck everything up. Two legal convictions, 1.5 years apart. Two careers gone. Credit score dropped 300 points. Racked up 40k in debt. Estranged a lot of friends and family with a subsequent drinking problem.
But, slowly, you work and invest in yourself, make the best of things, radically embrace life for what it is, and in a couple years you realize one day it’s all pretty much behind you, and that’s nice.
Hey friend ❤️ I had pretty much given up. Just about to turn 30, job I didn’t like, no love on the horizon. I was really lost and didn’t know what to do with myself.
Work put on a TA workshop (just a 2 day thing) and it was a revelation 🤯 I understood my thought processes, it highlighted my blind spots and gave me a push. I worked on altering my social algorithms to show positivity then dropped socials altogether. I underwent counselling and therapy for a period and it was revelatory.
Now studying to be a counsellor myself so
I can use my dark times to give others light 💡