Location: Portland, Oregon
I have a situation where my ex-GF told her brother that I tried to choke her via text. He sent me a copy after reading it to me. I believe she may have told others in order to gain sympathy for being evicted. She has been extremely manipulative and constantly lies about her addictions. She is an alcoholic, who I believe is currently binging. I have never laid a hand on her, in fact, she attacked me about 18 years ago that her adult daughter witnessed.
In March, I gave her an eviction notice as part of an ultimatum to seek help or leave. She decided to cheat on me as her alternative. In June we did a Keys for Cash agreement. Her last day was 6/30, but she picked up final load yesterday. I paid her the funds from the agreement.
Her brother is full aware of what has transpired and told me of her accusations. He does not believe a word she says because she has always blamed others for the problems she causes. What concerns me the most here are the following:
- My safety – I do not know who else she has lied to with this accusation, so I don’t know who might show up to confront me if she is telling others this lie.
- My reputation – I work in social services and have a good career.
- My mental health – She has constantly gaslighted me, especially while binging on alcohol. We went to couples counseling for two sessions and she lied throughout it, which the counselor recognized.
She is only on Social Security and owns a vehicle. I am not after anything in this as much as just wanting the lies to stop and for her to tell anyone she said this to that it was a lie.
What should I do?
Comments
A cease and desist is just a letter. It has no legal import. Sending her one at this point may make things worse.
You can seek legal counsel if you wish, but you will be sinking money into attorneys fees that you will never recoup. Or you can wait and see what happens.
>she attached me about 18 years ago that her adult daughter witnessed
You guys are old enough to have had an adult daughter 18 years ago …. So presumably at least 18 x 3 =54? And you’re doing this?
>sympathy for being evicted
Unless you’re talking about something other than your cash for keys, she wasn’t evicted.
>What should I do?
You should block, ignore, and withdraw from this stupidness.
The question is sort of vaguely implied. I’ve never seen sending a letter to someone in this kind of situation has positive effect. I’ve definitely seen it have negative effect. Likely she starts saying not only did you slap her around but now you want to silence her over it.
There’s no good answer here but to block and ignore. And to anyone who mentions it, “she really seems to be struggling right now.”