I have been with my husband for almost 12 years, we have a 2-year old and I am currently pregnant with baby #2 (6 months). I recently moved to my husband’s country to get some family support. My FIL is a wonderful man whereas my MIL is a very complicated woman.
I have been in contact with some nice women from my home country, who have nicely offered to throw a baby shower for me. I stupidly told my MIL and asked her to attend if she wanted to. She told me she did want to attend as this is not a common tradition in her country and wanted to see what the event was about. My husband told me I made a mistake by inviting her as she always wants to be the center of attention and could make racists comments about my home country.
One week before the baby shower, I got invited by the home country friends to attend a dinner party. My MIL found out about it from my husband and immediately assumed that the dinner was related to the baby shower and got a little bit weird about it, trying to find out details. My husband brushed it off but warned me about the consequences this may have.
He was right. The day after the dinner, MIL was acting very weird, told me twice I was looking too fat and swollen and how I was struggling to get a tan (mind you I don’t sunbathe much). I told her that getting fat was a common side effect of pregnancy but she told me my belly was getting too big. We left shortly because it was getting just too uncomfortable with the situation. After we left I immediately told my husband I was not going to remind my MIL about the shower because I don’t want her there anymore. He supports my decision and told me he will stay quiet about it as well.
The baby shower is next week. How would you deal with the situation if MIL asks about it? What would you say? Do you think I am overreacting?
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Honestly, if she ask tell her straight up. Say you didn’t appreciate the comments she made about you and no longer want her at the baby shower.
Of course you’re not overreacting.
Her son needs to step in here and shut her up.
“You were rude to me so I didn’t want you there”
I’d tell her that you haven’t heard anything further about it so was thinking it won’t be going ahead.
Then if you don’t have a choice tell her they surprised you on a different date with an invite to a friends for lunch and everyone was there.
If you don’t want to rock the boat and have a fallout and avoid being direct.